Well, in a couple of hours... it goes down!! i just finished my hair, which i must say looks AMAZINGLY wonderful lol...and i'm parading around in a black lacy tank and my black slip so that i won't get too hot or wrinkle my clothes before i have to go to church. Yes...tonight I'll be at church.
There was only one time in my entire life that I decided to celebrate the New Year without going to Church and call me superstitious or whatever...but that was one of the WORST years for me. lol. I decided right then and there that each New Year that God allows me to see will be ushered in by me being down on my knees and thanking Him for is grace and mercy. Now after service... well...ya girl is gonna be out and about.
I have three functions to attend after church and I have the slightest idea how they are all gonna get done. My church friends are having a breakfast downtown at one of my homeboys house immediately after church. I gotta swing by there because I am responsible for cooking some of the breakfast... lol. So i figure i'll go there first...then head to my best friend Biah's house. I've written about some of her parties. Though I've never went into detail about just how much fun they are... trust me... I.MUST.GO!! They are gonna do it real big and though I prolly won't get there until 2am.... I still gotta make an appearance. lol. I'm sure everyone will be "oh so gone" by then so it should make for an interesting party. After that, I gotta head on over to my cousin's party. He's throwing some big shabang all night long...so if i get there at about 4 in tha mo'nin... i doubt if anyone will look at me odd. *tired already from what's to come* Soooo i figure i'd just take it easy for these next two hours and get ready for a night/morning of fun.
As I was resting... i began thinking about this year and all it has entailed. The people I've met as well as the people I've had to say goodbye to. My job, my family...my own self and how i've changed. Let me just take a moment to reflect....
What I'm leaving behind in 2004....
AM Ironically, he was the first person I saw, hugged, kissed, touched, etc. in the year 2004...he's no longer apart of my life in anyway in 2005. In a way, I'm sad to leave him back in '04...but I must press towards greater things.
Self-doubt I've realized that I don't give myself enough credit for things. I've noticed that I don't try things that I think are extremely hard for fear of failing. But I've also noticed that the things that I do try my hardest in, I succeed. Therefore I plan to leave those negative thoughts about what I can and cant do in 2004 and develop more confidence in my abilities and the abilities of the Greater One within me.
A broken heart Though I never discussed it much here... I've had my heart broken a few times this year. Thankfully it wasn't shattered into a million pieces and thankfully God mended it with the Super Glue we call Love and Compassion. So many questions I had about my life and relationships were answered this year. Unfortunately it left me very broken. But believe me when I say that God will fill in every void in your life...He will mend ever broken part of your soul and He will make you whole if you let Him.
People who have entered my life in 2004...
Barry- thanks for always having an encouraging word for me. I pray that next year you'll find all that you were looking for in this year. I love you.
Dia- Guuuuuuuuuurl. You are a TRIP! I'm so glad I met you. I only have a few really close girlfriends and I am so glad to consider you one. I love you.
Bunns- you're one of the best people i know. you came to me at a time when i needed someone to "get me". i needed someone to be silly with and just let down my hair with. thank you for making me feel so good everytime we're together or when we talk or when we write to each other. I pray that you're in my life forever, but if not... I will always be grateful for what we have at this moment in my life. I love you.
"Crush" (KD) - i'm not sure what God's purpose was for our meeting, but I'm glad we met. I'm not sure where we're going, but i'm glad we're here. I don't know if you'll be here next year, but i'm glad you were here this year. I hope that we become better friends and this thing that seems to hold us back from going further...well i pray that God helps us to over come that. I love your life energy and your smile just does it for me. I love you.
And to all of my blog friends whom i've either met in person or just chatted with online... I love you all too and may you have a BLESSED New Year!!!!
Friday, December 31, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Happy Holidays!
I've stared at this screen for 7 minutes now. I've started over 4 times. Nothing seems to accurately represent what I feel and what I want to say. There's so much going on inside of me and I have no idea how to explain it. I just know that God is doing something miraculous in my life. No matter how much I run, or how far I roam. God always seems to guide me back to the path He has prepared for me....and for that I am eternally grateful.
It's amazing how some days everything in life seems so clear. You know where you're heading, you know what you're doing. You know who you are.... and then one day you wake up and nothing seems to make sense. You realize that you really don't know anything at all...and everything you were once sure of is now very "if-y".
That's me now. I realize that I don't know anything anymore. Everything I once knew, I no longer know...and everything that once seemed clear is now a big blur. The funny part about it is that... i'm totally okay with that. *sigh* I can't really explain it right now...so i'll just leave it at that. You wouldn't believe that I've been sitting here for an hour now...and this is all the far i've gotten. lol. Sooooo. Maybe I'll just try later.
It's amazing how some days everything in life seems so clear. You know where you're heading, you know what you're doing. You know who you are.... and then one day you wake up and nothing seems to make sense. You realize that you really don't know anything at all...and everything you were once sure of is now very "if-y".
That's me now. I realize that I don't know anything anymore. Everything I once knew, I no longer know...and everything that once seemed clear is now a big blur. The funny part about it is that... i'm totally okay with that. *sigh* I can't really explain it right now...so i'll just leave it at that. You wouldn't believe that I've been sitting here for an hour now...and this is all the far i've gotten. lol. Sooooo. Maybe I'll just try later.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Be careful what you wish for...
Friday Dec 17th
2:30pm
*celly rings @ work*
Me: Hello?
Chocolate Tease: hey Love
Me: *smiling* Hey
Chocolate Tease: how u doin?
Me: I’m good, how are you?
Chocolate Tease: better now that I hear your voice..
Me: *melting like a school girl*
Chocolate Tease: So, you coming through before you go out tonight?
Me: Yeah, I still gotta get those passes from you. (Referring to the free b4 midnight passes for visions)
Chocolate Tease: Oh yeah, aight. I’ll print them out for you. Call me before you get here love.
Me: *thinking … “I always call”* Aight that’s a bet, see you later.
Chocolate Tease: Aight, later.
5:13pm
*calling Chocolate Tease*
Chocolate Tease: Hey love, you here?
Me: yup.
Chocolate Tease: Aight…don’t get out. I’m comin.
Me: okay. *hanging up the phone thinking… “why he gotta come out?”
Just then, I hear a tap on my window followed by a big smile. His bedroom eyes seemed to sparkle today. I get out the car as calm as I could while trying my best not to stare at him too much. His tan suede blazer, cream Alfani shirt and brown slacks looked good against his chocolate skin. I couldn’t believe he was still in his work clothes. Usually by the time I come over after work, he would have been home for an hour and would have stripped off the corporate clothes and replaced them with his black Nike shorts and wife beater. What a difference clothes can make. I almost forgot how well he cleans up.
Me: Hey Hey. *cheesin as a I give him a big bear hug on my tip toes*
Chocolate Tease: Hey love, *cheek kiss then forehead kiss* Do me a favor… I know this sounds weird but just trust me aight…
Me: aight *looking puzzled*
Chocolate Tease: Go to the store and..
Me: But I just…
Chocolate Tease: aaaaaught. *putting his hand over my mouth* Just go to the store please… and pick me up some paper towels. I just realized we were out.
Me: *sighing , rolling my eyes and smacking at him* You STILL could’ve told me that BEFORE I got here.
Chocolate Tease: *handing me a $20* I know love, I didn’t realize it until when you called. I’m sorry. *pressing my head into his chest with his hand and hugging me tight*
Me: Whatever. Any particular kind? *I say snappily*
He says "Nope. Whatever you get is fine." as he runs back inside. I start heading to the store and mumbling under my breath until about halfway there when I realized that something isn’t right. Why does he need paper towels right now? Why he couldn’t get it later? He has a car! Why couldn’t he call his roommate and tell HIM to get it? Something isn’t right. He didn’t want me to come in. Why?
*PI* (pertinent info)
Mr. Chocolate Tease and I have been seeing a lot of each other this last past month. Ever since we re-united at my girl’s party, we see each other at least twice a week. I’ve been putting "the brakes" on this roller coaster since then too! I was hoping that my crush (who reads this blog) would read my post from Dec 1st and take the hint that it’s time to let me know if he’s feeling me because I can't put my life on hold while he figures it out. However, the more I thought about it, i realized that if it takes him this long to decide whether or not he's into me …then he's probably not the one for me. I can't be with someone who's not sure about me. I want you to know that you know. I wanna be with someone who wants to be with me and to be honest…there's a lot of young men that fall into that category. (okay how did I get off the subject..lol) Anyways… he and I did lunch last week and it was very clear to me that he just wants to be friends. I can respect that. Honestly, I think he’s crushin on someone else too. But that’s a whole nother post. lol Sooooooooo I decided that when the new year comes in, I will let the chips fall as they may. Chocolate Tease is showing a lot of interest in me. He’s always calling and spending time with me and he has no problem letting me know how he feels. I like that. So if things speed up between us…I won’t cool it down anymore to wait on my “crush” to decide whether or not he likes me.
*End of PI*
So in saying that… I thought it weird for him to not let me in like that. Was there another girl in there? If it was… that’s cool. We’re not together so I really have no say in that. But I don’t like to be lied to or played or ran game on. If you chillin with someone, then just tell me. Don’t hide it. I deal better with truth.
5:37pm
I get back to his crib and i’m pretty much steaming mad. My heart is racing cuz I came all the way to his house and he sends me back out and I’ve convinced myself that it was because someone was in there. So I don’t even tell him I’m outside. Nope Nope Nope. I walk up to the door and rang the doorbell about 5 times in a row. The longer I waited…the more upset and hurt I became. About 20 seconds later, I heard the door unlocking. My heart began beating faster because I REFUSED to show any emotion one way or the other, but I was honestly pissed and no matter how much I tried to hide it…I couldn’t. So he opens the door and lets me in while apologizing for the delay. I come in mad as all get out. But before I could say something to him… my jaw dropped.
Instantly I forgot.
I forgot how mad I was at him. I forgot how cold it was outside for those 25 seconds. I forgot that I had 2 rolls of paper towels in my hand (which he took and put with the rolls he already had). I forgot that I was supposed to go off on him for being so deceitful. I forgot that my jaw was still hanging.
Me: What’s goin on?
Chocolate Tease: I'm sorry I didn't let you in at first, but i wasn't ready for you yet. I'm still not, but it's all good. I couldn't think of anything else to stall. *laughing* You like?
Me: Well so far, yeah! Wow… what’s all this?
I asked as I took off my coat and strolled over to the table with my framed picture and 3 neatly wrapped presents marked “Love” on them. He had some older jazz music playing…didn’t know who it was…I think it was a compilation of folks, but it was simply beautiful. The lights off, curtains closed… most of the lighting came from the candles surrounding the tables and entertainment system.
Me: beautiful wrapping paper…i mumble while fingering the pretty lace bow on top of the small gift. I wondered what was in it.
Chocolate Tease: What u say? Come in here.
Kicking off my boots and putting down the gift…I walk into the kitchen. I smelled the aroma when I first came in, but it was slightly offset by the wonderful smell of the vanilla and lavender candles he had everywhere.
Me: okay! *laughing* I didn’t know you cooked. *looking at the chicken marsala and potatoes he was almost finished preparing.*
Chocolate Tease: I don’t. *laughing* Well…I don’t much. I can do a lil somethin though. I hope it taste good or else we gone be eating ramen noodles.
Me: laughing. Now I wish I hadn’t ate such a big lunch. *plopping down in a chair* So...why are you doing all of this?
Chocolate Tease: After a long pause…. I dunno really. Good question. I just …I dunno. I just wanted to do something for you.
Me: Awwwwwww....Thanks. *blushing*
So we eat and chat and to be honest… I’ve never had a real “candlelight” dinner except at restaurants…so it was really nice. He looked really nice. I looked like crap since it was Friday and I always dress down on Fridays. lol. We didn’t leave the kitchen until around 7:30ish. (I helped him clean up the kitchen..though most of it was already done by the time I got there.)
7:30ish
Chocolate Tease: was it good?
Me: *stuffed* mmmm. Great! You did pretty good. I’m impressed. *laughing*
Chocolate Tease: Thanks. Aight…I know you and Keya are going to Visions tonight…(getting up to get my passes) so I won’t hold you here too long. BUT…you have two options right now. Either you open your gifts now… or I can give you that massage you’ve been hollering about you want.
Me: hmmm. *thinking that I really want that massage…but I’m afraid to where it might lead. I might be a bit naïve about some things, but in no means am I stupid. lol* How about I open these and then we’ll see where we are on time.
Chocolate Tease: *grinning* I knew you’d say that. Aight open this one first.
He pointed to a medium sized gift box wrapped in red and gold paper. Feeling like I was three…I clapped all excitedly and grabbed the gift. It wasn’t heavy at all. Wondering what it could be, I tore open the box and looked in awe as I pulled out a fuscia colored silk chemise with black lace trimming. (kinda like this one) I felt… funny. Why is he buying me lingerie?
Chocolate Tease: I know what you’re thinking. I’m not trying to get ahead of myself or anything. Trust me, I wish I COULD see you in that... and hopefully one day I will. *wink* But I bought it for a specific reason, all the gifts have meaning. I’ll explain later.
“Okay” I said as I kinda relaxed a little. He has a way of doing that… he always seems to read my face and know exactly what I’m thinking. I pull it completely out the box. “It’s VERY pretty. I like it.” I said softly through my blushes.
Chocolate Tease: I knew you would. *smiling and watching me fiddle with the lace* Okay… next present. I’m getting kinda turned on watching you with that in your hand. *uneasy laugh*
So he hands me the next box. This box was heavy. I’m talking BRICKS kinda heavy. So I’m like….dang what’s in here??
To my surpise, there’s a lot of different things in there. I saw movie stubs as well as VHS movies…a copelands glass…a picture frame and a poem…(which I would share..but it was kinda “personal” lol) I knew offhand that the movie stubs were from the movies we had seen together over the last month or so. And the movies well…that would take up too much time to explain them both…but one of the two he got me was “Sliding Doors” which is one of my favorite movies EVER. The copelands glass I figured he kept from the time we went to copelands…and I had no idea what the picture frame meant.
Me: so you’re gonna tell me what these all mean?
Chocolate Tease: naw…open your last gift first..then I’ll tell you. *grinning*
Me: looking at him …*sigh* alright alright. *pretending to pout*
Wait!! Nevermind!! He said intensely. I’ll go ahead and explain now. Hold your last gift in your hand though.
I place the small box i was fingering earlier into the palm of my hand. I smiled and instantly became really nervous as he began talking.
Okay Love, *nervous sigh* the first gift I gave you represents our past. Given how we met, the first thing I thought of when I saw you was you in some slinky silky lingerie while you danced for me. I’ll admit, i wanted you. You was doin yo thang with that duck ass dude, but I knew that there was a sexual attraction between the two of us. So this represents our sexy, passionate meeting.
This gift here…*pointing to the opened gift on the table* represents us now. Our outings, blockbuster nights, our friendship. The empty Copeland glass and picture frame are parts of our present that I hope to fill in the future…
Me: okay. *looking confused*
Chocolate Tease: *laughing* Just open your present.
Now this… (pointing at the ruby/diamond ring i just opened) symbolizes what I hope our future will be. It’s not much, but you get where I’m coming from. I felt like this was a good enough time to tell you how I'm really feeling about us. This is the only way I know how to put it. Presently, that Copelands glass is empty, but I hope that it will one day be filled with wine from our reception. Presently, that picture frame is empty, but I hope that this picture frame will one day be filled with photos of us. And when the time is right, you KNOW I gotta see you in that sexy silk lingerie like I’ve always imagined you in. *slight chuckle*
I laughed a little too...but I had no idea what to say or think. This all kinda came outta nowhere for me. I mean, I know he was feeling me…but I wasn’t expecting for him to break it down like that. I stared at the modest but very beautiful ruby (my birthstone) ring he bought me…and absorbed every word his heart just told me through his lips. I realized how much work he put into all of this…and I began to cry. I’ve never had anyone do something so special for me. EVER. Not even my ex-fiance gave me this feeling during our entire 4 years together. It was an emotional overload.
I told him how I felt. I told him where I was …with him… with my crush… with myself. I told him everything. He assured me that he wasn’t trying to rush things. He just wanted me to know that he fully intends for our friendship to blossom into a relationship and eventually a marriage. He really thinks I might be “the one”. But he said he'll let if flow slow if that would please me. I told him it would.
It’s weird. As much as I’ve wanted someone to finally see “ME”…it's finally happened. I couldn't ask for a cooler friend. But now that it’s happened, I realize that I’m in new territory and that I honestly don’t know what to do…
So for right now…we’ll remain friends. But to be honest, it feels funny to be just friends after an evening like this.
We hugged… I left. At Visions Friday night…everytime I danced, I thought of him as well as where the new year would lead me....
2:30pm
*celly rings @ work*
Me: Hello?
Chocolate Tease: hey Love
Me: *smiling* Hey
Chocolate Tease: how u doin?
Me: I’m good, how are you?
Chocolate Tease: better now that I hear your voice..
Me: *melting like a school girl*
Chocolate Tease: So, you coming through before you go out tonight?
Me: Yeah, I still gotta get those passes from you. (Referring to the free b4 midnight passes for visions)
Chocolate Tease: Oh yeah, aight. I’ll print them out for you. Call me before you get here love.
Me: *thinking … “I always call”* Aight that’s a bet, see you later.
Chocolate Tease: Aight, later.
5:13pm
*calling Chocolate Tease*
Chocolate Tease: Hey love, you here?
Me: yup.
Chocolate Tease: Aight…don’t get out. I’m comin.
Me: okay. *hanging up the phone thinking… “why he gotta come out?”
Just then, I hear a tap on my window followed by a big smile. His bedroom eyes seemed to sparkle today. I get out the car as calm as I could while trying my best not to stare at him too much. His tan suede blazer, cream Alfani shirt and brown slacks looked good against his chocolate skin. I couldn’t believe he was still in his work clothes. Usually by the time I come over after work, he would have been home for an hour and would have stripped off the corporate clothes and replaced them with his black Nike shorts and wife beater. What a difference clothes can make. I almost forgot how well he cleans up.
Me: Hey Hey. *cheesin as a I give him a big bear hug on my tip toes*
Chocolate Tease: Hey love, *cheek kiss then forehead kiss* Do me a favor… I know this sounds weird but just trust me aight…
Me: aight *looking puzzled*
Chocolate Tease: Go to the store and..
Me: But I just…
Chocolate Tease: aaaaaught. *putting his hand over my mouth* Just go to the store please… and pick me up some paper towels. I just realized we were out.
Me: *sighing , rolling my eyes and smacking at him* You STILL could’ve told me that BEFORE I got here.
Chocolate Tease: *handing me a $20* I know love, I didn’t realize it until when you called. I’m sorry. *pressing my head into his chest with his hand and hugging me tight*
Me: Whatever. Any particular kind? *I say snappily*
He says "Nope. Whatever you get is fine." as he runs back inside. I start heading to the store and mumbling under my breath until about halfway there when I realized that something isn’t right. Why does he need paper towels right now? Why he couldn’t get it later? He has a car! Why couldn’t he call his roommate and tell HIM to get it? Something isn’t right. He didn’t want me to come in. Why?
*PI* (pertinent info)
Mr. Chocolate Tease and I have been seeing a lot of each other this last past month. Ever since we re-united at my girl’s party, we see each other at least twice a week. I’ve been putting "the brakes" on this roller coaster since then too! I was hoping that my crush (who reads this blog) would read my post from Dec 1st and take the hint that it’s time to let me know if he’s feeling me because I can't put my life on hold while he figures it out. However, the more I thought about it, i realized that if it takes him this long to decide whether or not he's into me …then he's probably not the one for me. I can't be with someone who's not sure about me. I want you to know that you know. I wanna be with someone who wants to be with me and to be honest…there's a lot of young men that fall into that category. (okay how did I get off the subject..lol) Anyways… he and I did lunch last week and it was very clear to me that he just wants to be friends. I can respect that. Honestly, I think he’s crushin on someone else too. But that’s a whole nother post. lol Sooooooooo I decided that when the new year comes in, I will let the chips fall as they may. Chocolate Tease is showing a lot of interest in me. He’s always calling and spending time with me and he has no problem letting me know how he feels. I like that. So if things speed up between us…I won’t cool it down anymore to wait on my “crush” to decide whether or not he likes me.
*End of PI*
So in saying that… I thought it weird for him to not let me in like that. Was there another girl in there? If it was… that’s cool. We’re not together so I really have no say in that. But I don’t like to be lied to or played or ran game on. If you chillin with someone, then just tell me. Don’t hide it. I deal better with truth.
5:37pm
I get back to his crib and i’m pretty much steaming mad. My heart is racing cuz I came all the way to his house and he sends me back out and I’ve convinced myself that it was because someone was in there. So I don’t even tell him I’m outside. Nope Nope Nope. I walk up to the door and rang the doorbell about 5 times in a row. The longer I waited…the more upset and hurt I became. About 20 seconds later, I heard the door unlocking. My heart began beating faster because I REFUSED to show any emotion one way or the other, but I was honestly pissed and no matter how much I tried to hide it…I couldn’t. So he opens the door and lets me in while apologizing for the delay. I come in mad as all get out. But before I could say something to him… my jaw dropped.
Instantly I forgot.
I forgot how mad I was at him. I forgot how cold it was outside for those 25 seconds. I forgot that I had 2 rolls of paper towels in my hand (which he took and put with the rolls he already had). I forgot that I was supposed to go off on him for being so deceitful. I forgot that my jaw was still hanging.
Me: What’s goin on?
Chocolate Tease: I'm sorry I didn't let you in at first, but i wasn't ready for you yet. I'm still not, but it's all good. I couldn't think of anything else to stall. *laughing* You like?
Me: Well so far, yeah! Wow… what’s all this?
I asked as I took off my coat and strolled over to the table with my framed picture and 3 neatly wrapped presents marked “Love” on them. He had some older jazz music playing…didn’t know who it was…I think it was a compilation of folks, but it was simply beautiful. The lights off, curtains closed… most of the lighting came from the candles surrounding the tables and entertainment system.
Me: beautiful wrapping paper…i mumble while fingering the pretty lace bow on top of the small gift. I wondered what was in it.
Chocolate Tease: What u say? Come in here.
Kicking off my boots and putting down the gift…I walk into the kitchen. I smelled the aroma when I first came in, but it was slightly offset by the wonderful smell of the vanilla and lavender candles he had everywhere.
Me: okay! *laughing* I didn’t know you cooked. *looking at the chicken marsala and potatoes he was almost finished preparing.*
Chocolate Tease: I don’t. *laughing* Well…I don’t much. I can do a lil somethin though. I hope it taste good or else we gone be eating ramen noodles.
Me: laughing. Now I wish I hadn’t ate such a big lunch. *plopping down in a chair* So...why are you doing all of this?
Chocolate Tease: After a long pause…. I dunno really. Good question. I just …I dunno. I just wanted to do something for you.
Me: Awwwwwww....Thanks. *blushing*
So we eat and chat and to be honest… I’ve never had a real “candlelight” dinner except at restaurants…so it was really nice. He looked really nice. I looked like crap since it was Friday and I always dress down on Fridays. lol. We didn’t leave the kitchen until around 7:30ish. (I helped him clean up the kitchen..though most of it was already done by the time I got there.)
7:30ish
Chocolate Tease: was it good?
Me: *stuffed* mmmm. Great! You did pretty good. I’m impressed. *laughing*
Chocolate Tease: Thanks. Aight…I know you and Keya are going to Visions tonight…(getting up to get my passes) so I won’t hold you here too long. BUT…you have two options right now. Either you open your gifts now… or I can give you that massage you’ve been hollering about you want.
Me: hmmm. *thinking that I really want that massage…but I’m afraid to where it might lead. I might be a bit naïve about some things, but in no means am I stupid. lol* How about I open these and then we’ll see where we are on time.
Chocolate Tease: *grinning* I knew you’d say that. Aight open this one first.
He pointed to a medium sized gift box wrapped in red and gold paper. Feeling like I was three…I clapped all excitedly and grabbed the gift. It wasn’t heavy at all. Wondering what it could be, I tore open the box and looked in awe as I pulled out a fuscia colored silk chemise with black lace trimming. (kinda like this one) I felt… funny. Why is he buying me lingerie?
Chocolate Tease: I know what you’re thinking. I’m not trying to get ahead of myself or anything. Trust me, I wish I COULD see you in that... and hopefully one day I will. *wink* But I bought it for a specific reason, all the gifts have meaning. I’ll explain later.
“Okay” I said as I kinda relaxed a little. He has a way of doing that… he always seems to read my face and know exactly what I’m thinking. I pull it completely out the box. “It’s VERY pretty. I like it.” I said softly through my blushes.
Chocolate Tease: I knew you would. *smiling and watching me fiddle with the lace* Okay… next present. I’m getting kinda turned on watching you with that in your hand. *uneasy laugh*
So he hands me the next box. This box was heavy. I’m talking BRICKS kinda heavy. So I’m like….dang what’s in here??
To my surpise, there’s a lot of different things in there. I saw movie stubs as well as VHS movies…a copelands glass…a picture frame and a poem…(which I would share..but it was kinda “personal” lol) I knew offhand that the movie stubs were from the movies we had seen together over the last month or so. And the movies well…that would take up too much time to explain them both…but one of the two he got me was “Sliding Doors” which is one of my favorite movies EVER. The copelands glass I figured he kept from the time we went to copelands…and I had no idea what the picture frame meant.
Me: so you’re gonna tell me what these all mean?
Chocolate Tease: naw…open your last gift first..then I’ll tell you. *grinning*
Me: looking at him …*sigh* alright alright. *pretending to pout*
Wait!! Nevermind!! He said intensely. I’ll go ahead and explain now. Hold your last gift in your hand though.
I place the small box i was fingering earlier into the palm of my hand. I smiled and instantly became really nervous as he began talking.
Okay Love, *nervous sigh* the first gift I gave you represents our past. Given how we met, the first thing I thought of when I saw you was you in some slinky silky lingerie while you danced for me. I’ll admit, i wanted you. You was doin yo thang with that duck ass dude, but I knew that there was a sexual attraction between the two of us. So this represents our sexy, passionate meeting.
This gift here…*pointing to the opened gift on the table* represents us now. Our outings, blockbuster nights, our friendship. The empty Copeland glass and picture frame are parts of our present that I hope to fill in the future…
Me: okay. *looking confused*
Chocolate Tease: *laughing* Just open your present.
Now this… (pointing at the ruby/diamond ring i just opened) symbolizes what I hope our future will be. It’s not much, but you get where I’m coming from. I felt like this was a good enough time to tell you how I'm really feeling about us. This is the only way I know how to put it. Presently, that Copelands glass is empty, but I hope that it will one day be filled with wine from our reception. Presently, that picture frame is empty, but I hope that this picture frame will one day be filled with photos of us. And when the time is right, you KNOW I gotta see you in that sexy silk lingerie like I’ve always imagined you in. *slight chuckle*
I laughed a little too...but I had no idea what to say or think. This all kinda came outta nowhere for me. I mean, I know he was feeling me…but I wasn’t expecting for him to break it down like that. I stared at the modest but very beautiful ruby (my birthstone) ring he bought me…and absorbed every word his heart just told me through his lips. I realized how much work he put into all of this…and I began to cry. I’ve never had anyone do something so special for me. EVER. Not even my ex-fiance gave me this feeling during our entire 4 years together. It was an emotional overload.
I told him how I felt. I told him where I was …with him… with my crush… with myself. I told him everything. He assured me that he wasn’t trying to rush things. He just wanted me to know that he fully intends for our friendship to blossom into a relationship and eventually a marriage. He really thinks I might be “the one”. But he said he'll let if flow slow if that would please me. I told him it would.
It’s weird. As much as I’ve wanted someone to finally see “ME”…it's finally happened. I couldn't ask for a cooler friend. But now that it’s happened, I realize that I’m in new territory and that I honestly don’t know what to do…
So for right now…we’ll remain friends. But to be honest, it feels funny to be just friends after an evening like this.
We hugged… I left. At Visions Friday night…everytime I danced, I thought of him as well as where the new year would lead me....
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Don't blame me...
Blame HER!!
I know that I have like 3 things I said I’d write about and haven’t gotten around to…but since CeeCee tagged me to do this meme or (hmmm how’d she put it…) “die painfully” I figured I’d go ahead and do it…cuz honestly CeeCee… well It’s not a good dying time for me right…I’m kinda busy at the moment…so err.. here it is.
Take Three
Three names you go by:
1. Sway
2. Babygirl (no, it’s not a nickname some guy gave me…actually quite a few folks call me this…including girls. lol)
3. Brese
Three screennames you have:
1. Jazzy Sway
2.Sexy Femininity
3. Jazzy Lady
Three things you like about yourself:
1. I love hard
2. I’m very forgiving
3. If I try hard enough for something…I’ll get it.
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. I love hard
2. I’m very forgiving
3. Certain things I really should try hard for… I don’t.
Three parts of your heritage:
1. African American
2. Irish
3. Cherokee (you know “WE” are all Cherokee!! lol) J/K
Three things that scare you:
1. Failure at something I actually work hard towards
2. Loneliness
3. Suffocation
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Prayer/Daily Scripture
2. Carmax
3. Oil of Olay (works wonders ladies..lol)
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. My favorite silver/diamond necklace
2. A black sweater
3. black stiletto boots.
Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment…cuz this changes almost daily…lol):
1. Maxwell
2. Fred Hammond
3. Jodeci
Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. Tell her – Teedra Moss
2. No Words- Seleena J.
3. Hey Lover- LL (yeah I know it’s old…but that’s my jam)
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Learning Japanese
2. Take a cooking class
3. errr this last one falls under T.M.I *lol* ( this was Cee Cee’s answer…but err..imma have to gone and say it’s mine too.)
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Stability
2. Honesty
3. Compatibility
Two truths and a lie:
1. I’m addicted to Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.
2. I’ve asked several people for gift certificates to Vicki Secret as a Christmas gift.
3. I am a horrible liar.
Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
1. Eyes
2. Lips/Smile
3. Voice/Diction/Tone/Speech. ( I know they're different…but I couldn’t pick just one)
Three things you just can't do:
1. Hide my true feelings about something/someone
2. Scream
3. Be purposefully spiteful
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Singing
2. Reading
3. Watching football
Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1.Sleep
2. Drink some caramel macchiato.
3. Did I mention Sleep
Three careers you're considering:
1. Counseling/Psychiatry
2. Lead Researcher in the public health field
3. Vocal Performance
Three places you want to go to on vacation:
1. Ghana or Ethiopia (i wanna go to both for different reasons.)
2. Egypt
3. Beaches in Portugal
Three kids names:
1. Khalia
2. Khalil
3. Khailey
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go to the Prague National Theater in Chez or to see the Opera “Die Walküre” (Valkyrie).
2. Make a positive difference in at least one person’s life.
3. Live.
Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
Cymple
The Kid
Nick (who probably won’t see this until next year sometime. lol)
I know that I have like 3 things I said I’d write about and haven’t gotten around to…but since CeeCee tagged me to do this meme or (hmmm how’d she put it…) “die painfully” I figured I’d go ahead and do it…cuz honestly CeeCee… well It’s not a good dying time for me right…I’m kinda busy at the moment…so err.. here it is.
Take Three
Three names you go by:
1. Sway
2. Babygirl (no, it’s not a nickname some guy gave me…actually quite a few folks call me this…including girls. lol)
3. Brese
Three screennames you have:
1. Jazzy Sway
2.Sexy Femininity
3. Jazzy Lady
Three things you like about yourself:
1. I love hard
2. I’m very forgiving
3. If I try hard enough for something…I’ll get it.
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. I love hard
2. I’m very forgiving
3. Certain things I really should try hard for… I don’t.
Three parts of your heritage:
1. African American
2. Irish
3. Cherokee (you know “WE” are all Cherokee!! lol) J/K
Three things that scare you:
1. Failure at something I actually work hard towards
2. Loneliness
3. Suffocation
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Prayer/Daily Scripture
2. Carmax
3. Oil of Olay (works wonders ladies..lol)
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. My favorite silver/diamond necklace
2. A black sweater
3. black stiletto boots.
Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment…cuz this changes almost daily…lol):
1. Maxwell
2. Fred Hammond
3. Jodeci
Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. Tell her – Teedra Moss
2. No Words- Seleena J.
3. Hey Lover- LL (yeah I know it’s old…but that’s my jam)
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Learning Japanese
2. Take a cooking class
3. errr this last one falls under T.M.I *lol* ( this was Cee Cee’s answer…but err..imma have to gone and say it’s mine too.)
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Stability
2. Honesty
3. Compatibility
Two truths and a lie:
1. I’m addicted to Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.
2. I’ve asked several people for gift certificates to Vicki Secret as a Christmas gift.
3. I am a horrible liar.
Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
1. Eyes
2. Lips/Smile
3. Voice/Diction/Tone/Speech. ( I know they're different…but I couldn’t pick just one)
Three things you just can't do:
1. Hide my true feelings about something/someone
2. Scream
3. Be purposefully spiteful
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Singing
2. Reading
3. Watching football
Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1.Sleep
2. Drink some caramel macchiato.
3. Did I mention Sleep
Three careers you're considering:
1. Counseling/Psychiatry
2. Lead Researcher in the public health field
3. Vocal Performance
Three places you want to go to on vacation:
1. Ghana or Ethiopia (i wanna go to both for different reasons.)
2. Egypt
3. Beaches in Portugal
Three kids names:
1. Khalia
2. Khalil
3. Khailey
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go to the Prague National Theater in Chez or to see the Opera “Die Walküre” (Valkyrie).
2. Make a positive difference in at least one person’s life.
3. Live.
Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
Cymple
The Kid
Nick (who probably won’t see this until next year sometime. lol)
Monday, December 13, 2004
It's Monday...
...and I'm busy. I guess it's a good thing because honestly... i'm not in a writing mood. I actually have a few things to get off my chest...and I had a great weekend that I need to write about...but um...it's not getting done today. Anyway...if i forget, please remind me to tell you guys about my weekend. Til then....
Gone.
WINDOW TO MY SOUL...
What do you see when you look into me...
A little pride?
Hurts I'm trying to hide?
A person in whom you can confide?
What do you see in these eyes?
I'm pouring out my soul with each glance...
Hoping a simple look will spark a chance...
For u to see me ...completely...
Every fiber of my being...
is expelled from this one portal.
Every thought that passes my mind stops here.
Every memory in my head that i hold dear.
Every word...every touch...every feeling...you can see...
if only you dare to stare into the soul of me...
Gone.
WINDOW TO MY SOUL...
What do you see when you look into me...
A little pride?
Hurts I'm trying to hide?
A person in whom you can confide?
What do you see in these eyes?
I'm pouring out my soul with each glance...
Hoping a simple look will spark a chance...
For u to see me ...completely...
Every fiber of my being...
is expelled from this one portal.
Every thought that passes my mind stops here.
Every memory in my head that i hold dear.
Every word...every touch...every feeling...you can see...
if only you dare to stare into the soul of me...
Friday, December 10, 2004
Too busy having fun....
Just checkin in to say how GREAT today is. It's a beautiful sunny day outside and I have a great 5th floor view of it all from my officle. It's friday...which of course makes it a good day by default...plus we're getting off early today for no apparent reason... AND we're having a christmas celebration for the entire office starting at noon! So I get to eat free, go home early and get paid good. What more can you ask for. My co-workers and I are decorating our floor so of course no work will be done until maybe...11:30...but of course at noon, we'll stop.
Life is definitely good right now. I'm thankful. Gotta go play some more. Gone :)
Life is definitely good right now. I'm thankful. Gotta go play some more. Gone :)
Monday, December 06, 2004
2 posts in one day...
Well well well... i finally finished the bizillion things on my desk...only to find that it is PAST 5pm and I'm the only one still here. *sigh* Sway's work is never done. So....since I was here...alone...and honestly, the longer I stay, the better my chances are of avoiding all of the 5'o clock traffic jams...i figured I'd tell you a few happenings of my weekend. I know...i know... 2 full posts in one day... who'da thunk it. (lol) I guess Fave is rubbing off on me. With his 3-4 posts a day. It's pretty cool. However, i'm sure this is the last time I'll be doing this for a while. lol.
We called the Police... on my crazy neighbor. His habitual pole beating has gone on for too long. We found out that we the entire neighborhood and the neighborhood behind us can hear his beating...so we're not the only ones who are having trouble sleeping. We also found out that our other neighbors (who's 2 doors down from crazy neighbor) had already called the po-po's on him once. So....we figured hey.... we should do the entire neighborhood a service and call the boys in blue once more. So not knowing how deep they rolled...we called the cops and tried to get them to discretely come out since crazy neighbor had been beating the pole for a good 2 hours solid and we were going crazy! About 15-20 minutes later... 4 police cars stopped in front of our house and his and began looking really crazy. I didn't understand why until they knocked on our door asking where he was. They claim that they heard the noise about 3 blocks down and was trying to figure out where it was coming from. We pointed to "crazy neighbor's" back yard...and we went back in our house and proceded to decorate our live christmas tree. 5 minutes later, they rang our door bell to tell us that he had ran into the woods talking about "they out to get me...they out to get me" and they said that they will find him ...DEFINIETLY. *sigh* Dang...crazy neighbor. I hate it had to come to that. Now I'm afraid he's really gonna start nutting up.
Friday and saturday nights were filled with wonderful company. Friday, BG and I went to dinner and a movie. Though I had already saw the movie we went to see... it was great seeing it with him. Everything seems better with him. He's one of those rare people that I really really connect with. Like... I have no reservations around him. I can be as silly as I wanna be... as crazy and talkative as I wanna be... he just....brings out the best part of me. The woman I enjoy being. The first time I wrote about BG...I told you all that when we met, our souls found playmates.... and I still feel that way. Sometimes I wish he and I were family so I could guarentee that he'd always be in my life some kinda way. He really does mean a lot to me. More than I think he realizes.
Saturday night I had a visitor. My old roomate from my days at Emory came down from Cleveland and decided to stop by and see about me. She still looks the same. I used to hate the fact that her butt was sooo friggin big. It wasn't fair. But then again...she felt the same way about my "tops". lol. I figured that.... together, we'd be the finest female on earth. lol Anyway, we chatted for a while. I offered to show her a good time around the city...but what I didn't realize was that she was here with her HUSBAND and BABY. huh? How come she didn't say anything about getting married OR having a child in all of the many phone conversations...emails... or IM's that we share on the regular. Hmph. I guess I wasn't as good a friend as I thought. Anyway... she left and I began reminiscing about the many many wonderful...and not so wonderful memories of my college years. How about this... I'd love to share one with you guys...so i'll jot down a few and I need you all to tell me which one you'd like to hear about k? cool.
* My roomate and I dating the same man for 3 months without knowing....and he came to our apt. all the time.
* My proposal to my then fiance.
* My first real experience at freaknik.
* How I broke both my ankles within 4 months of each other.
* The crazy party that ellicited my first (and last) female kiss.
or
* The night I found out my fiance was cheating on me.
We called the Police... on my crazy neighbor. His habitual pole beating has gone on for too long. We found out that we the entire neighborhood and the neighborhood behind us can hear his beating...so we're not the only ones who are having trouble sleeping. We also found out that our other neighbors (who's 2 doors down from crazy neighbor) had already called the po-po's on him once. So....we figured hey.... we should do the entire neighborhood a service and call the boys in blue once more. So not knowing how deep they rolled...we called the cops and tried to get them to discretely come out since crazy neighbor had been beating the pole for a good 2 hours solid and we were going crazy! About 15-20 minutes later... 4 police cars stopped in front of our house and his and began looking really crazy. I didn't understand why until they knocked on our door asking where he was. They claim that they heard the noise about 3 blocks down and was trying to figure out where it was coming from. We pointed to "crazy neighbor's" back yard...and we went back in our house and proceded to decorate our live christmas tree. 5 minutes later, they rang our door bell to tell us that he had ran into the woods talking about "they out to get me...they out to get me" and they said that they will find him ...DEFINIETLY. *sigh* Dang...crazy neighbor. I hate it had to come to that. Now I'm afraid he's really gonna start nutting up.
Friday and saturday nights were filled with wonderful company. Friday, BG and I went to dinner and a movie. Though I had already saw the movie we went to see... it was great seeing it with him. Everything seems better with him. He's one of those rare people that I really really connect with. Like... I have no reservations around him. I can be as silly as I wanna be... as crazy and talkative as I wanna be... he just....brings out the best part of me. The woman I enjoy being. The first time I wrote about BG...I told you all that when we met, our souls found playmates.... and I still feel that way. Sometimes I wish he and I were family so I could guarentee that he'd always be in my life some kinda way. He really does mean a lot to me. More than I think he realizes.
Saturday night I had a visitor. My old roomate from my days at Emory came down from Cleveland and decided to stop by and see about me. She still looks the same. I used to hate the fact that her butt was sooo friggin big. It wasn't fair. But then again...she felt the same way about my "tops". lol. I figured that.... together, we'd be the finest female on earth. lol Anyway, we chatted for a while. I offered to show her a good time around the city...but what I didn't realize was that she was here with her HUSBAND and BABY. huh? How come she didn't say anything about getting married OR having a child in all of the many phone conversations...emails... or IM's that we share on the regular. Hmph. I guess I wasn't as good a friend as I thought. Anyway... she left and I began reminiscing about the many many wonderful...and not so wonderful memories of my college years. How about this... I'd love to share one with you guys...so i'll jot down a few and I need you all to tell me which one you'd like to hear about k? cool.
* My roomate and I dating the same man for 3 months without knowing....and he came to our apt. all the time.
* My proposal to my then fiance.
* My first real experience at freaknik.
* How I broke both my ankles within 4 months of each other.
* The crazy party that ellicited my first (and last) female kiss.
or
* The night I found out my fiance was cheating on me.
The start of a new week. A chance to start fresh. A new beginning. Ahhh... I love mondays! My face rarely shows that...but I really do like mondays. Plus today I have an extra pep in my step. I dunno why. I just do. Maybe it's the wig. lol. Yup. I know... I know... don't say it. I had to get one though. Not that I NEED a wig...but dang...i'm tired of putting all that heat of a straightener and curler on my hair each and everyday. Plus I got so tired of the POOF on rainy days that I decided to just get a wig with the same style i'm currently rockin...and put that bad boy on whenever it rains. Well...today it rained...and i figured it was a perfect time to try out my new hotness. lol So I cornrowed my natural hair and stuffed it under my wig (since my hair is actually about 2 inches longer than my wig. lol) I came in and my co-workers were amazed. They were going on and on about how good my hair looks. I didn't think it was THAT cute...but hey, I'll take the compliments. I really was just wearing it to give my hair a break from the curler heat...and the bad weather, so I wasn't even thinking about whether or not it was cute. lol.
I told one co-worker kept ranting and raving about how good my hair looks so i finally told her it was a wig and she didn't believe it. She actually laughed...and then was like.. wait...you for real? She was like....girl i ain't neva seen a wig that looks that natural. lol. I thought that was funny. But the way she kept going on and on about how cute it was made me wonder... "what does my natural hair look like to her on any given day" lol. She act as if she's never seen my hair lookin nice or somethin. lol. I mean, sure...i'm quick to throw that ish in a ponytail or something..but my hair still looks nice though. Dah well...I know I can hook my own hair up when need be. *tossing my wig hair. lol* I guess i should take a picture of it huh? ya'll should see it. hahaha.
Anywho.... before i get started on my monday work load....i just want to go on record saying how incredibly hurt i am about yesterday's game against the Bucs. Man... i wanted to say "WTF?" about 50948754 times yesterday. I kept screaming at the television "WHY WON'T YOU RUN VICK.... WHYYYYYYY!!" I mean, everyone knows that Vick ISN'T a pocket quarterback. Everytime he stays in the pocket, one of two things happen... they either rush him and he'll throw the ball away..but like his cousin Brooks...(naw... Vick's worse...) he'll throw it up and cause an interception...or two he'll he gets sacked. There's no other alternative to that... those are always the outcomes of his pocket throwing experiences. And we ALL know that when Vick gets hit...he does what?? all together say: Drops the doggone ball!! FUMBLE EVERYTIME. Twice yesterday the falcons were on the 1 yard line.... ONE YARD LINE and couldn't get a touchdown. Vick threw an interception like all darn day. The falcons turned over the ball like 4 times yesterday. That's ridiculous. Aaaaaah. Vick... do what you do best....ROLL OUT! It works for you. Do it. Tampa Bay MURDERED him in that pocket. And then to top it off...Vick throws wayyy to high. He has so much power and speed when he throws...which makes him awesome...but he needs to work on his aim. He's gonna get someone hurt throwing so high cuz everytime they gotta stop and jump up to catch it and i can just see someone now hitting the mess outta Price...(scratch that...he hasn't caught anything noteworthy all season though they payin him like he's Randy Moss or T. O. ... oooh don't get me started on that) err... Crumpler when he comes out of the air from catching one of Vick's passes and being crashed into the ground. I'm telling you... once Vick learns to throw the ball dead in their chest.... he'd be unstoppable. BUT FOR NOW... um... practice throwing in the pocket at PRACTICE...and roll out so you can see the field and run if need be during games!! PLEASE! *sigh* Okay...end of vent. Sorry. Had to get it off my chest. I feel better now so I'm off to work . Gone.
I told one co-worker kept ranting and raving about how good my hair looks so i finally told her it was a wig and she didn't believe it. She actually laughed...and then was like.. wait...you for real? She was like....girl i ain't neva seen a wig that looks that natural. lol. I thought that was funny. But the way she kept going on and on about how cute it was made me wonder... "what does my natural hair look like to her on any given day" lol. She act as if she's never seen my hair lookin nice or somethin. lol. I mean, sure...i'm quick to throw that ish in a ponytail or something..but my hair still looks nice though. Dah well...I know I can hook my own hair up when need be. *tossing my wig hair. lol* I guess i should take a picture of it huh? ya'll should see it. hahaha.
Anywho.... before i get started on my monday work load....i just want to go on record saying how incredibly hurt i am about yesterday's game against the Bucs. Man... i wanted to say "WTF?" about 50948754 times yesterday. I kept screaming at the television "WHY WON'T YOU RUN VICK.... WHYYYYYYY!!" I mean, everyone knows that Vick ISN'T a pocket quarterback. Everytime he stays in the pocket, one of two things happen... they either rush him and he'll throw the ball away..but like his cousin Brooks...(naw... Vick's worse...) he'll throw it up and cause an interception...or two he'll he gets sacked. There's no other alternative to that... those are always the outcomes of his pocket throwing experiences. And we ALL know that when Vick gets hit...he does what?? all together say: Drops the doggone ball!! FUMBLE EVERYTIME. Twice yesterday the falcons were on the 1 yard line.... ONE YARD LINE and couldn't get a touchdown. Vick threw an interception like all darn day. The falcons turned over the ball like 4 times yesterday. That's ridiculous. Aaaaaah. Vick... do what you do best....ROLL OUT! It works for you. Do it. Tampa Bay MURDERED him in that pocket. And then to top it off...Vick throws wayyy to high. He has so much power and speed when he throws...which makes him awesome...but he needs to work on his aim. He's gonna get someone hurt throwing so high cuz everytime they gotta stop and jump up to catch it and i can just see someone now hitting the mess outta Price...(scratch that...he hasn't caught anything noteworthy all season though they payin him like he's Randy Moss or T. O. ... oooh don't get me started on that) err... Crumpler when he comes out of the air from catching one of Vick's passes and being crashed into the ground. I'm telling you... once Vick learns to throw the ball dead in their chest.... he'd be unstoppable. BUT FOR NOW... um... practice throwing in the pocket at PRACTICE...and roll out so you can see the field and run if need be during games!! PLEASE! *sigh* Okay...end of vent. Sorry. Had to get it off my chest. I feel better now so I'm off to work . Gone.
Friday, December 03, 2004
Why ya'll Why?
I figured I'd have time today to finish up my last post...but unfortunately I don't.
I really just came on to say that... I am SUPER MAD because my crazy neighbor (read here) started back beating the doggone pole again. And now I'm snifflin and sneezing cuz I had to turn on the fan to create suitible nocturnal noise to overpower his pole beating so that I could fall asleep. He SUCKS! I wish he'd mooooooooooooove. Go awaaaaaaaaaay! Ugh! I found out he beats the pole with a a hammer. He beats a metal pole with a hammer! At 11 at night. I woke up around 2:15 this morning because this guy named Kareem decided he wanted to call me on his way home from Visions because I was "on his mind"... (a whole nother story. lol) ... and the crazy neighbor man was STILL at it. How long can you beat a doggone pole? Okay, he started at 11 and was still going strong at 2:15ish in the morning. Do ya'll know how cold it was outside? Do ya? I'm surprised he doesn't have pneumonia or somethin. His arms should be as big as Stone Cold's or Goldberg's the way he goes at it. *sigh* I'm not sleeping at home tonight... I can't take it. I might have to call the po-po's on him if he keeps it up.
I really just came on to say that... I am SUPER MAD because my crazy neighbor (read here) started back beating the doggone pole again. And now I'm snifflin and sneezing cuz I had to turn on the fan to create suitible nocturnal noise to overpower his pole beating so that I could fall asleep. He SUCKS! I wish he'd mooooooooooooove. Go awaaaaaaaaaay! Ugh! I found out he beats the pole with a a hammer. He beats a metal pole with a hammer! At 11 at night. I woke up around 2:15 this morning because this guy named Kareem decided he wanted to call me on his way home from Visions because I was "on his mind"... (a whole nother story. lol) ... and the crazy neighbor man was STILL at it. How long can you beat a doggone pole? Okay, he started at 11 and was still going strong at 2:15ish in the morning. Do ya'll know how cold it was outside? Do ya? I'm surprised he doesn't have pneumonia or somethin. His arms should be as big as Stone Cold's or Goldberg's the way he goes at it. *sigh* I'm not sleeping at home tonight... I can't take it. I might have to call the po-po's on him if he keeps it up.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
November Escapades
Yes Yes Ya’ll. Ya girl’s been busy. I’ve been going non stop for like…the last 2 weeks. I need to sit myself down somewhere and knit or bake something cuz man, I have been off the chain. Like for real. I am really outside my element right now. Most times when it starts getting dark and cold out…I hibernate. But since the holidays hit… I don’t know…I’ve been out and about each and ERRY day…(which is probably why I am sneezing and sniffling right about now). lol. It’s all good though. I’m on a quest. I’m trying to live it up. If there was such a thing as storing up good times to get you through the bad times…this would definitely be one of those storing phases. I’ve hit the surface a little on how the cool weather makes menfolk wanna dust off their lil black book and start hitting up old flames in hopes of rekindling that fire for the cold winter. Well… for some reason, this year… I’ve actually taken a few offers. (Okay…dang… stop looking like I just committed the cardinal sin.) I’m not serious about any of them…and I was very upfront and forward when I told them that my going out with them does NOT mean that I’m consenting to us getting back together. But I guess it all goes back to that lonely thing… I want to have fun… and the few select people I chose to go out with always did know how to make me have fun. So here’s my rundown of events from the last two weeks.
Friday the 19th ~ Well I had started out the day thinking that I would use the evening to take out my final set of microbraids so that I can go ahead and finally rock this “natural” do I’ve been obsessively talking about. However, my plans quickly changed…as they often do. Everyone knows I love spur of the moment outings…especially if the outing doesn’t require to much spur of the moment planning… (Ex. = a surprise party… good…a surprise trip to the mountains…not so good.)
Anyways, my homegirl, Biah called me and was like, “hey a couple of my friends and Frank’s (her live-in boyfriend) friends are coming over and we just gonna chill or whatnot… I got food… (which of course was the Key word I was looking for since I don’t really smoke or drink. Lol). So I’m like, “cool, I’m there.”
So I hopped in the shower, put on some gear and cut the other half of my braids to bob length since I had already started cutting them before she called….and headed out the door.
I had NO idea that this was gonna be a full blown house party by the time I set foot in there. Biah and I have been friends since 4th grade…so she knows me like the back of her hand. Had she told me the truth about her “get together” she knew I probably wouldn’t have showed up. lol I love house parties as much as the next (probably even more) BUT err…ahh.. I tend not to go to them much anymore because the Old Sway (aka: Keisha) always seem to pop up and before I know it…I’m shaking my groove thang on the living room floor…HARD! So… I walk in…the air was thick with the smell of blacks and a faint touch of henn. Everyone was jamming to some Trillville, Kilo, and Youngbloods (lol..that’s how we do down hurrr in da souf… lol) …holding a cup of “get right” and talking loud. Apparently most of the people there had left their house feeling “nice”…so by the time they got to Biah’s house…they were on cloud 9. So I greet my long time friend…take off my coat and ask where the food is. As I make my way through the crowd…I spot this nice chocolate tease in the corner wearing a tan kangol and a matching sweater. I smile and keep walking. Something about him seemed…comfortable. I shook the feeling and headed for the meatballs.
So I’m in the kitchen chatting it up with some folks I met at Biah and Frank’s last get together when Chocolate Tease comes gliding in… lips plump…muscles bulging…eyes mysterious under that tilted hat and he glances my way while bending down to get a corona out of the cooler. From that moment, I have NO idea what ole girl in the kitchen was saying to me. I knew those eyes from somewhere… I’ve seen him before.
He sensed my curiosity and took it upon himself to go ahead and make his move. As he popped open his corona, he smiled at me and said, “So, how you been, ma? You still lookin good.”
Trying to stay cool because I instantaneously remembered how and why I knew him once he opened his mouth, I replied “I’m good papi. How u been?”
So we began chatting it up…right there in the kitchen and somehow ending up on the swing set in the serene and romantic setting of Biah’s back yard. I missed talking to him. About 2 that morning, I figured I should head home, I was getting tired, and the party was getting louder... I figured the neighbors would be calling the cops within the next 15-20 minutes anyways... so I gave him a hug...let him kiss my cheek and my hand. And right before I left, he asked me if I was seeing someone. I wasn't quite sure how to answer that because though I'm single, there is someone in my life that I like... ALOT... and though I really get the feeling he's not feeling me as much, I'd hate to mess anything that "might be" up with him.
But at the same time, I'd hate to wait and wait for my "crush" to come to his senses and ask me to be his exclusively and miss out on what "could be" with Mr. Chocolate Tease. So... i hesitated and told him that I date...but nothing is official. He smiled and gave out a muffled sigh of relief and asked if he could call me sometime. I said sure.... and walked out wondering how it was that we never got together in the first place.
He and I lost touch last year. Between me dealing with TD and trying to figure out what was going on with that…and him just getting out of a 3 year relationship, we just kinda lost touch. The timing was off. I remember the first time we met. TD and I went to club Chaos to get our dance on and He was there with some of his friends. He watched TD and I dance all night long. Everytime I saw him, he was just somewhere in the cut…watching me. What got me about him was that women were actually coming up to him… and he never moved from his spot. I’d see a girl go talk to him…and a few minutes later, she’d walk away. And as soon as she did… he’d take a sip of whatever he was drinking on and gaze back at me and TD. After a while, I began dancing for him. lol I’m not sure if TD even noticed since he was pretty gone. By the end of the night TD’s crazy self was all in the mirrors looking at himself dancing, and holding up his lil arm muscles and measuring them like he was He-man or something… and mouthing the words to whatever song was playing like HE was actually shooting a video or something. I figured he was so gone… he probably didn’t notice me flirting with Mr. Chocolate Tease. When I went to the bathroom, Chocolate Tease followed. By the time I came out, he was right there waiting on me and when he opened his mouth… I couldn’t resist leaning forward and asking him to “repite por favor”. And once again, he begin speaking sweet nothings to me in spanish. His deep sultry voice made it even more inviting. He voluntarily told me what it was he said…though I picked up on a few words anyways… but those 3 minutes of convo was enough for me to know that I didn’t want to walk away from him without having his contact info. So we exchanged numbers and talked for about a month afterwards. He was a great conversationalist…and he always knew what questions to ask to get me to talking. Unfortunately for Chocolate Tease, things with me and TD progressed and he was still on that “I want to take things suuuuuuuuper slow” tip… so eventually…we just kinda lost touch.
Since that Friday that I saw him at Biah’s house though, we’ve resumed our nightly chats…and we decided to get up that next day. So Saturday he and I went out. It was nice. Refreshing even. Honestly, I don’t see it progressing into anything romantic, just because well…. I’m really feeling someone else right now. But I’ll be honest, it felt good to be desired by someone so sexy. I was the envy of everyone at the Cheesecake factory that night. lol All eyes were on him, and his eyes were on me. That made me feel really good.
Anyways…I didn’t realize I was gonna type this much about him…so I’ll continue my other escapades from the last two weeks either tomorrow or Friday. Gone.
Friday the 19th ~ Well I had started out the day thinking that I would use the evening to take out my final set of microbraids so that I can go ahead and finally rock this “natural” do I’ve been obsessively talking about. However, my plans quickly changed…as they often do. Everyone knows I love spur of the moment outings…especially if the outing doesn’t require to much spur of the moment planning… (Ex. = a surprise party… good…a surprise trip to the mountains…not so good.)
Anyways, my homegirl, Biah called me and was like, “hey a couple of my friends and Frank’s (her live-in boyfriend) friends are coming over and we just gonna chill or whatnot… I got food… (which of course was the Key word I was looking for since I don’t really smoke or drink. Lol). So I’m like, “cool, I’m there.”
So I hopped in the shower, put on some gear and cut the other half of my braids to bob length since I had already started cutting them before she called….and headed out the door.
I had NO idea that this was gonna be a full blown house party by the time I set foot in there. Biah and I have been friends since 4th grade…so she knows me like the back of her hand. Had she told me the truth about her “get together” she knew I probably wouldn’t have showed up. lol I love house parties as much as the next (probably even more) BUT err…ahh.. I tend not to go to them much anymore because the Old Sway (aka: Keisha) always seem to pop up and before I know it…I’m shaking my groove thang on the living room floor…HARD! So… I walk in…the air was thick with the smell of blacks and a faint touch of henn. Everyone was jamming to some Trillville, Kilo, and Youngbloods (lol..that’s how we do down hurrr in da souf… lol) …holding a cup of “get right” and talking loud. Apparently most of the people there had left their house feeling “nice”…so by the time they got to Biah’s house…they were on cloud 9. So I greet my long time friend…take off my coat and ask where the food is. As I make my way through the crowd…I spot this nice chocolate tease in the corner wearing a tan kangol and a matching sweater. I smile and keep walking. Something about him seemed…comfortable. I shook the feeling and headed for the meatballs.
So I’m in the kitchen chatting it up with some folks I met at Biah and Frank’s last get together when Chocolate Tease comes gliding in… lips plump…muscles bulging…eyes mysterious under that tilted hat and he glances my way while bending down to get a corona out of the cooler. From that moment, I have NO idea what ole girl in the kitchen was saying to me. I knew those eyes from somewhere… I’ve seen him before.
He sensed my curiosity and took it upon himself to go ahead and make his move. As he popped open his corona, he smiled at me and said, “So, how you been, ma? You still lookin good.”
Trying to stay cool because I instantaneously remembered how and why I knew him once he opened his mouth, I replied “I’m good papi. How u been?”
So we began chatting it up…right there in the kitchen and somehow ending up on the swing set in the serene and romantic setting of Biah’s back yard. I missed talking to him. About 2 that morning, I figured I should head home, I was getting tired, and the party was getting louder... I figured the neighbors would be calling the cops within the next 15-20 minutes anyways... so I gave him a hug...let him kiss my cheek and my hand. And right before I left, he asked me if I was seeing someone. I wasn't quite sure how to answer that because though I'm single, there is someone in my life that I like... ALOT... and though I really get the feeling he's not feeling me as much, I'd hate to mess anything that "might be" up with him.
But at the same time, I'd hate to wait and wait for my "crush" to come to his senses and ask me to be his exclusively and miss out on what "could be" with Mr. Chocolate Tease. So... i hesitated and told him that I date...but nothing is official. He smiled and gave out a muffled sigh of relief and asked if he could call me sometime. I said sure.... and walked out wondering how it was that we never got together in the first place.
He and I lost touch last year. Between me dealing with TD and trying to figure out what was going on with that…and him just getting out of a 3 year relationship, we just kinda lost touch. The timing was off. I remember the first time we met. TD and I went to club Chaos to get our dance on and He was there with some of his friends. He watched TD and I dance all night long. Everytime I saw him, he was just somewhere in the cut…watching me. What got me about him was that women were actually coming up to him… and he never moved from his spot. I’d see a girl go talk to him…and a few minutes later, she’d walk away. And as soon as she did… he’d take a sip of whatever he was drinking on and gaze back at me and TD. After a while, I began dancing for him. lol I’m not sure if TD even noticed since he was pretty gone. By the end of the night TD’s crazy self was all in the mirrors looking at himself dancing, and holding up his lil arm muscles and measuring them like he was He-man or something… and mouthing the words to whatever song was playing like HE was actually shooting a video or something. I figured he was so gone… he probably didn’t notice me flirting with Mr. Chocolate Tease. When I went to the bathroom, Chocolate Tease followed. By the time I came out, he was right there waiting on me and when he opened his mouth… I couldn’t resist leaning forward and asking him to “repite por favor”. And once again, he begin speaking sweet nothings to me in spanish. His deep sultry voice made it even more inviting. He voluntarily told me what it was he said…though I picked up on a few words anyways… but those 3 minutes of convo was enough for me to know that I didn’t want to walk away from him without having his contact info. So we exchanged numbers and talked for about a month afterwards. He was a great conversationalist…and he always knew what questions to ask to get me to talking. Unfortunately for Chocolate Tease, things with me and TD progressed and he was still on that “I want to take things suuuuuuuuper slow” tip… so eventually…we just kinda lost touch.
Since that Friday that I saw him at Biah’s house though, we’ve resumed our nightly chats…and we decided to get up that next day. So Saturday he and I went out. It was nice. Refreshing even. Honestly, I don’t see it progressing into anything romantic, just because well…. I’m really feeling someone else right now. But I’ll be honest, it felt good to be desired by someone so sexy. I was the envy of everyone at the Cheesecake factory that night. lol All eyes were on him, and his eyes were on me. That made me feel really good.
Anyways…I didn’t realize I was gonna type this much about him…so I’ll continue my other escapades from the last two weeks either tomorrow or Friday. Gone.
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