Friday Dec 17th
2:30pm
*celly rings @ work*
Me: Hello?
Chocolate Tease: hey Love
Me: *smiling* Hey
Chocolate Tease: how u doin?
Me: I’m good, how are you?
Chocolate Tease: better now that I hear your voice..
Me: *melting like a school girl*
Chocolate Tease: So, you coming through before you go out tonight?
Me: Yeah, I still gotta get those passes from you. (Referring to the free b4 midnight passes for visions)
Chocolate Tease: Oh yeah, aight. I’ll print them out for you. Call me before you get here love.
Me: *thinking … “I always call”* Aight that’s a bet, see you later.
Chocolate Tease: Aight, later.
5:13pm
*calling Chocolate Tease*
Chocolate Tease: Hey love, you here?
Me: yup.
Chocolate Tease: Aight…don’t get out. I’m comin.
Me: okay. *hanging up the phone thinking… “why he gotta come out?”
Just then, I hear a tap on my window followed by a big smile. His bedroom eyes seemed to sparkle today. I get out the car as calm as I could while trying my best not to stare at him too much. His tan suede blazer, cream Alfani shirt and brown slacks looked good against his chocolate skin. I couldn’t believe he was still in his work clothes. Usually by the time I come over after work, he would have been home for an hour and would have stripped off the corporate clothes and replaced them with his black Nike shorts and wife beater. What a difference clothes can make. I almost forgot how well he cleans up.
Me: Hey Hey. *cheesin as a I give him a big bear hug on my tip toes*
Chocolate Tease: Hey love, *cheek kiss then forehead kiss* Do me a favor… I know this sounds weird but just trust me aight…
Me: aight *looking puzzled*
Chocolate Tease: Go to the store and..
Me: But I just…
Chocolate Tease: aaaaaught. *putting his hand over my mouth* Just go to the store please… and pick me up some paper towels. I just realized we were out.
Me: *sighing , rolling my eyes and smacking at him* You STILL could’ve told me that BEFORE I got here.
Chocolate Tease: *handing me a $20* I know love, I didn’t realize it until when you called. I’m sorry. *pressing my head into his chest with his hand and hugging me tight*
Me: Whatever. Any particular kind? *I say snappily*
He says "Nope. Whatever you get is fine." as he runs back inside. I start heading to the store and mumbling under my breath until about halfway there when I realized that something isn’t right. Why does he need paper towels right now? Why he couldn’t get it later? He has a car! Why couldn’t he call his roommate and tell HIM to get it? Something isn’t right. He didn’t want me to come in. Why?
*PI* (pertinent info)
Mr. Chocolate Tease and I have been seeing a lot of each other this last past month. Ever since we re-united at my girl’s party, we see each other at least twice a week. I’ve been putting "the brakes" on this roller coaster since then too! I was hoping that my crush (who reads this blog) would read my post from Dec 1st and take the hint that it’s time to let me know if he’s feeling me because I can't put my life on hold while he figures it out. However, the more I thought about it, i realized that if it takes him this long to decide whether or not he's into me …then he's probably not the one for me. I can't be with someone who's not sure about me. I want you to know that you know. I wanna be with someone who wants to be with me and to be honest…there's a lot of young men that fall into that category. (okay how did I get off the subject..lol) Anyways… he and I did lunch last week and it was very clear to me that he just wants to be friends. I can respect that. Honestly, I think he’s crushin on someone else too. But that’s a whole nother post. lol Sooooooooo I decided that when the new year comes in, I will let the chips fall as they may. Chocolate Tease is showing a lot of interest in me. He’s always calling and spending time with me and he has no problem letting me know how he feels. I like that. So if things speed up between us…I won’t cool it down anymore to wait on my “crush” to decide whether or not he likes me.
*End of PI*
So in saying that… I thought it weird for him to not let me in like that. Was there another girl in there? If it was… that’s cool. We’re not together so I really have no say in that. But I don’t like to be lied to or played or ran game on. If you chillin with someone, then just tell me. Don’t hide it. I deal better with truth.
5:37pm
I get back to his crib and i’m pretty much steaming mad. My heart is racing cuz I came all the way to his house and he sends me back out and I’ve convinced myself that it was because someone was in there. So I don’t even tell him I’m outside. Nope Nope Nope. I walk up to the door and rang the doorbell about 5 times in a row. The longer I waited…the more upset and hurt I became. About 20 seconds later, I heard the door unlocking. My heart began beating faster because I REFUSED to show any emotion one way or the other, but I was honestly pissed and no matter how much I tried to hide it…I couldn’t. So he opens the door and lets me in while apologizing for the delay. I come in mad as all get out. But before I could say something to him… my jaw dropped.
Instantly I forgot.
I forgot how mad I was at him. I forgot how cold it was outside for those 25 seconds. I forgot that I had 2 rolls of paper towels in my hand (which he took and put with the rolls he already had). I forgot that I was supposed to go off on him for being so deceitful. I forgot that my jaw was still hanging.
Me: What’s goin on?
Chocolate Tease: I'm sorry I didn't let you in at first, but i wasn't ready for you yet. I'm still not, but it's all good. I couldn't think of anything else to stall. *laughing* You like?
Me: Well so far, yeah! Wow… what’s all this?
I asked as I took off my coat and strolled over to the table with my framed picture and 3 neatly wrapped presents marked “Love” on them. He had some older jazz music playing…didn’t know who it was…I think it was a compilation of folks, but it was simply beautiful. The lights off, curtains closed… most of the lighting came from the candles surrounding the tables and entertainment system.
Me: beautiful wrapping paper…i mumble while fingering the pretty lace bow on top of the small gift. I wondered what was in it.
Chocolate Tease: What u say? Come in here.
Kicking off my boots and putting down the gift…I walk into the kitchen. I smelled the aroma when I first came in, but it was slightly offset by the wonderful smell of the vanilla and lavender candles he had everywhere.
Me: okay! *laughing* I didn’t know you cooked. *looking at the chicken marsala and potatoes he was almost finished preparing.*
Chocolate Tease: I don’t. *laughing* Well…I don’t much. I can do a lil somethin though. I hope it taste good or else we gone be eating ramen noodles.
Me: laughing. Now I wish I hadn’t ate such a big lunch. *plopping down in a chair* So...why are you doing all of this?
Chocolate Tease: After a long pause…. I dunno really. Good question. I just …I dunno. I just wanted to do something for you.
Me: Awwwwwww....Thanks. *blushing*
So we eat and chat and to be honest… I’ve never had a real “candlelight” dinner except at restaurants…so it was really nice. He looked really nice. I looked like crap since it was Friday and I always dress down on Fridays. lol. We didn’t leave the kitchen until around 7:30ish. (I helped him clean up the kitchen..though most of it was already done by the time I got there.)
7:30ish
Chocolate Tease: was it good?
Me: *stuffed* mmmm. Great! You did pretty good. I’m impressed. *laughing*
Chocolate Tease: Thanks. Aight…I know you and Keya are going to Visions tonight…(getting up to get my passes) so I won’t hold you here too long. BUT…you have two options right now. Either you open your gifts now… or I can give you that massage you’ve been hollering about you want.
Me: hmmm. *thinking that I really want that massage…but I’m afraid to where it might lead. I might be a bit naïve about some things, but in no means am I stupid. lol* How about I open these and then we’ll see where we are on time.
Chocolate Tease: *grinning* I knew you’d say that. Aight open this one first.
He pointed to a medium sized gift box wrapped in red and gold paper. Feeling like I was three…I clapped all excitedly and grabbed the gift. It wasn’t heavy at all. Wondering what it could be, I tore open the box and looked in awe as I pulled out a fuscia colored silk chemise with black lace trimming. (kinda like this one) I felt… funny. Why is he buying me lingerie?
Chocolate Tease: I know what you’re thinking. I’m not trying to get ahead of myself or anything. Trust me, I wish I COULD see you in that... and hopefully one day I will. *wink* But I bought it for a specific reason, all the gifts have meaning. I’ll explain later.
“Okay” I said as I kinda relaxed a little. He has a way of doing that… he always seems to read my face and know exactly what I’m thinking. I pull it completely out the box. “It’s VERY pretty. I like it.” I said softly through my blushes.
Chocolate Tease: I knew you would. *smiling and watching me fiddle with the lace* Okay… next present. I’m getting kinda turned on watching you with that in your hand. *uneasy laugh*
So he hands me the next box. This box was heavy. I’m talking BRICKS kinda heavy. So I’m like….dang what’s in here??
To my surpise, there’s a lot of different things in there. I saw movie stubs as well as VHS movies…a copelands glass…a picture frame and a poem…(which I would share..but it was kinda “personal” lol) I knew offhand that the movie stubs were from the movies we had seen together over the last month or so. And the movies well…that would take up too much time to explain them both…but one of the two he got me was “Sliding Doors” which is one of my favorite movies EVER. The copelands glass I figured he kept from the time we went to copelands…and I had no idea what the picture frame meant.
Me: so you’re gonna tell me what these all mean?
Chocolate Tease: naw…open your last gift first..then I’ll tell you. *grinning*
Me: looking at him …*sigh* alright alright. *pretending to pout*
Wait!! Nevermind!! He said intensely. I’ll go ahead and explain now. Hold your last gift in your hand though.
I place the small box i was fingering earlier into the palm of my hand. I smiled and instantly became really nervous as he began talking.
Okay Love, *nervous sigh* the first gift I gave you represents our past. Given how we met, the first thing I thought of when I saw you was you in some slinky silky lingerie while you danced for me. I’ll admit, i wanted you. You was doin yo thang with that duck ass dude, but I knew that there was a sexual attraction between the two of us. So this represents our sexy, passionate meeting.
This gift here…*pointing to the opened gift on the table* represents us now. Our outings, blockbuster nights, our friendship. The empty Copeland glass and picture frame are parts of our present that I hope to fill in the future…
Me: okay. *looking confused*
Chocolate Tease: *laughing* Just open your present.
Now this… (pointing at the ruby/diamond ring i just opened) symbolizes what I hope our future will be. It’s not much, but you get where I’m coming from. I felt like this was a good enough time to tell you how I'm really feeling about us. This is the only way I know how to put it. Presently, that Copelands glass is empty, but I hope that it will one day be filled with wine from our reception. Presently, that picture frame is empty, but I hope that this picture frame will one day be filled with photos of us. And when the time is right, you KNOW I gotta see you in that sexy silk lingerie like I’ve always imagined you in. *slight chuckle*
I laughed a little too...but I had no idea what to say or think. This all kinda came outta nowhere for me. I mean, I know he was feeling me…but I wasn’t expecting for him to break it down like that. I stared at the modest but very beautiful ruby (my birthstone) ring he bought me…and absorbed every word his heart just told me through his lips. I realized how much work he put into all of this…and I began to cry. I’ve never had anyone do something so special for me. EVER. Not even my ex-fiance gave me this feeling during our entire 4 years together. It was an emotional overload.
I told him how I felt. I told him where I was …with him… with my crush… with myself. I told him everything. He assured me that he wasn’t trying to rush things. He just wanted me to know that he fully intends for our friendship to blossom into a relationship and eventually a marriage. He really thinks I might be “the one”. But he said he'll let if flow slow if that would please me. I told him it would.
It’s weird. As much as I’ve wanted someone to finally see “ME”…it's finally happened. I couldn't ask for a cooler friend. But now that it’s happened, I realize that I’m in new territory and that I honestly don’t know what to do…
So for right now…we’ll remain friends. But to be honest, it feels funny to be just friends after an evening like this.
We hugged… I left. At Visions Friday night…everytime I danced, I thought of him as well as where the new year would lead me....
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