Friday, January 30, 2004

Too busy- but i'll leave you with this...

I'm too busy to write, but i have a lot of catching up to do with you guys... so Monday, it's on!! Until then, I found this and thought it was funny.

A WOMAN'S 50 RULES FOR MEN

1) Call.
2) Don't lie.
3) Never tape any of her body parts together.
4) If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5) If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo
rules: No Petting.
6) The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
7) Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
8) Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
9) Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
10) Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11) "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag," "Lardass,"
and "Bitch" are bad.
12) Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13) A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14) None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
15) Her cooking is excellent.
16) That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17) Dish soap is your friend.
18) Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
19) Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20) Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.
21) Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"
22) Two words: clean socks.
23) Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
24) Burping is not sexy.
25) You're wrong.
26) You're sorry.
27) She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.
28) Ditto for your discourse on football.
29) Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
30) "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.
31) Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32) Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
33) No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34) "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
35) Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.
36) Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
37) Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
38) If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
39) Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
40) Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
41) Always, always suck up to her brother.
42) Think boxers.
43) Silk boxers.
44) Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names.
45) Don't try to change the way she dresses.
46) Her haircut is never bad.
47) Don't let your friends pick on her.
48) Call.
49) Don't lie.
50) The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your ass smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything out.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

I need a break!!

Dang, things at work have been picking up!! I am excited because I feel like I am finally doing something to help!! However, it sucks because I got really used to slacking off by listening to music, taking a couple of trips around the office, and writing on here. I don't know how some of ya'll do it. You have seemingly "full" days, yet your blog is filled with endless entries each and every day. Where do you find the time?? Oh well, maybe tomorrow I can write something. Aight. I'm out. Duty calls!!!
*dubie dubie*

Monday, January 26, 2004

Deja vu...

Well maybe not...but isn't it crazy how monotonous an 8:30 -5 job can be? Go to work Monday, can't wait til friday, then saturday and sunday you're off and happy, and it's back to work on monday. It's amazing how much time we spend here at work. I feel like work is my first home!! Anyway, I had a wonderful weekend. Friday night, I went to our SGS (spiritual growth session) and had an absolutely MARVELOUS time! And to think, I would have missed it if AM didn't go home to Detroit for his birthday. At first, I was kinda sad that I wouldn't be able to spend his b-day with him, but after I went to our SGS, I realized that that was where I really needed to be. We talked about T.E.A.M. (together everyone achieves miracles) which is our Church's theme for 2004! Our sessions are always informal and very effective. We meet at someone's house and we have food and dessert and we listen to the selected speaker for that topic/evening and end up discussing whatever topic we are on...and eventually that leads to a discussion of various other topics. I got so much out of our SGS. It was wonderful. Everyone was so open and honest about where they were spiritually and what they needed to work on, their goals/aspirations for the year and etc. I found it so relieving to hear that I was not by myself dealing with the struggles of being a single, young christian adult in this day and age. Other young adults like myself were also struggling with celibacy, music, discipleship, lust,and evangelism. We all have our "secret sins"... but to confront them head on and ask for prayer about them and get advice from others who have been down that road was truly liberating! I felt so happy after that session. We talked from 7pm until around 2 that morning. No one left, no one was bored...it was great!

Saturday I did absolutely NOTHING!! Ahhh finally, I got to chill at the crib. I woke up late... In fact, I slept for so long, my head began to hurt!! Then I woke up, watched Lord of the Rings II and talked to AM, who was still in Detroit. HE called (remember, I can't call him) me and we talked for a while. I can't quite do the second rule yet. I've been trying...but I'll tell you about that later. Anyway, we talked and then I cleaned up my house. Ahhhh... good sleep, a call from someone special and a clean house...what could be better!!! Sunday I went to church as ususal. Had a great time as ususal. Came home...took a nap..and ate the best sunday dinner ever!! MMM....man, my mom can cook!!lol We had meat loaf, cabbage, cornbread, and potatoes. It was so freakin good! I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Anyway, AM called me yesterday as well ... about 3 times actually and we talked about a lot. We got off the phone with each other and went to sleep. I didn't have the best sleep last night. I think I need a new mattress or something. But at least I'm in a good mood today despite my aching back. Well that's all for today. I got more work to do. Later.

Friday, January 23, 2004

The "Rules Girl" on... Calling Men!!

So, he asked me why I didn't call him and I kinda stumbled around to find an answer. I eventually said, "Um, I was really busy. I'm sorry." I guess he bought it b/c he said "oh" and moved on... for a while at least. Then he went back to it. I guessed that it really kinda bothered him that I didn't call him. I mean, he was saying it as non chalant as he could, but the amount of times he brought it up was enough to alarm me that it was noticable to him that I didnt call him. I didn't know what to say b/c obviously, "I was busy" wasn't good enough for him seeing how he keeps dancing around the fact that I didn't call him all weekend. Well...during our convo, he breaks out and says, "Come to think of it, you hardly ever call me." Okay, by this time, I'm ready to give up on the rules! THEY SUCK! We've never stayed on a subject this long and I had apologized already for the weekend, so now what!!! So I started to stutter, trying to explain why I don't call (you know the whole he's at work/save your minutes thing I explained to ya'll earlier?) but as soon as I started he was like, "you know what...nevermind. Don't explain. I LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T CALL!! If you did call all the time, I would probably get sick of it. I like calling you."
WOW!! My jaw dropped. A rule.... working! Wow.. and to think.... I almost messed it up by making excuses and explaining and promising to call more!! I couldn't believe it. He actually liked having to do all of the calling. Men are so freakin weird!! So, with that being said, I thought that I'd slowly integrate more of the "Rules" into our friendship/relationship so that it won't be an obvious and abrupt change in my behavior, but one day he'll wake up and be like, dang, this girl's no joke. Was she always like this?? Hmmmm?
Since men supposedly "like the chase"... I'm gonna try and start making them run!! I'll let you know how that goes!
**dubie dubie**

Thursday, January 22, 2004

The Rules (part II)

We all open up our respected gift bags and begin flipping through the book. No one wants to actually be the first one to begin reading so we all just looked at each other and made small talk until the salad came and Vee said to us, "okay ladies, now let's talk about 'THE RULES'". Upon hearing this, we all grew suddenly quiet and attentive, well, it was upon hearing that AND the fact that Olive Garden has one of the best salads EVER!! Anyway, "The Rules" is basically the woman's guide to attracting, dating, and eventually marrying the man of her dreams. We begin to discuss the rules in depth at the table. There were about 25 of them and each rule seemed to get harder and harder: they were so contrary to your instincts and desires. At first, I thought that this was the DUMBEST BOOK EVER!! The entire time I asked them, "Why do we have to play these games to get a man?" Why are men like this? Why do men like women that do this? I couldn't understand. I mean, the book explained and gave a reason for every rule, but it went against almost everything I was ever taught, I ever thought, I ever felt and I ever did while dating. Then I realized, maybe that's why I'm still single! Ladies...I almost cried when I went home because I never thought I'd be able to become a "rules girl" (that's what we're called lol) b/c the rules were just too much for me to handle. Plus I'd already broken some of the key rules since i've met AM...my current love interest and friend. So how could I go from "whatever happens, happen" to "rules girl" with the same guy?
Well, I vowed that I was gonna try it on him and if it starts turning ugly between us, I'd just come clean and tell him why I was acting so funny and hope that he and I could remain friends. So there I was, a month into our "casual dating relationship thing" and I'm starting the rules!! Now, I don't know who reads this...if anyone actually does, so I won't tell all the rules (can't have men knowing our little tricks now can we ;) ) but I tried one of the first rules...

Never call men and rarely return their phone calls.
What? Did that just say that I couldn't call AM? But....but ...but what if I wanted to talk? Well too bad for me huh. I tried this rule out on him. I am gonna try to do them all, but I fear that it is too late. But let me tell you what happened.

AM works at night like I've stated earlier. So we usually talk after 9, during his shift and when his minutes are free... ahhh.. so thrifty. Anyway, the reason I started with the don't call him rule is because it was one of the only rules that I was actually doing for the most part before I even read the book. Of course it was completely unintentional then!! I didn't call much then b/c I knew he was working, so I let him call me instead of me calling him. Since he called every night, it was really nothing I actually realized i was doing...or rather not doing. Well, after the book, I made a conscious effort not to call at all. He called me saturday night saying how sleepy he was, so we got off of the phone and I went to this little 30th b-day party @ my co-worker's apt. Well, I expected him to call me sunday night to shoot the breeze and ask me how my day went as he usually does every night. Well, AM didn't call.
Monday, I was off of work and he knew it. Usually we'll get together on the times one of us is free...but no call from him at all during the day. Mind you...he only goes to school on tues. and thurs. and he works at night...so all day monday, he was chillin at home...yet NO phone call. Monday evening, he didn't have to work. He told me that the friday before, but guess what? Yup, Mr. AM DIDN'T CALL. It's monday night and he hasn't called once since saturday evening...this is so unlike him. He always calls. By this time, Ms. Rules girl is going CRAZY. I wanted to pick up the phone a hundred times and just say hey. But I tried to stick to the rules. Tuesday rolls around and still no ring from AM. Finally at 10:30pm he calls and says, "Hey Stranger". Ahhhh a sigh of relief was the first thing I let out!! Then I felt kinda mad...I wanted to scream,"Why didn't you call"!!! But I didn't. I just said hey back and kept my cool. Of course he asked ME though. I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, I couldn't possibly tell him that I didn't call b/c I'm a "rules girl" and the rule book says I cant call men!! lol
So I just sit there for a minute and I said....

to be continued..gotta go... :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

So much for hump day

Man, it sucks when I actually have something to write about, actually have the desire to write, but can't because for the first time in a long while, I actually have to work!! I mean tons and tons of work!! Where did it come from? I mean it was only weeks ago when I had nothing to do but show up, listen to music, surf the web, go to lunch, write on my blog, and go home. Ahhh... now that's the good life. But, all of that has ended and I am left with a pile of stuff to do. So, I guess THE RULES... (part II) won't be written down until tomorrow. hmph.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

THE RULES... (part I)

Friday night was ladies night. A couple of girls from my church decided to get together and go to dinner at olive garden. We were told to bring only 1 or 2 close female friends and be ready to talk! Of course being the kind of lady I am, I was way too curious about why everything was so hush, hush, and exclusive. My friend Vee, the coordinator of the event, said that she read this book called "The Rules" and wanted to share it with some of her closest friends. Well, the psychologist in me came out and I tried to probe at her in hopes to find out more than she was willing to tell me. My attempts failed. So I patiently awaited friday's outing and it finally came. There we were, just 7 of us. All as confused as the next, trying to figure out what "The rules" was all about. After 45 minutes of casual talk and impatient waiting for a table at olive garden on a friday night!! We were finally seated in a remote corner. I had brought one guest...my crazy cousin. She's the only female I could think of that i was friends with outside of the group that was already there. So I sat next to her, hoping that the proximity would allow me to shove my elbow into her arm if she says something way out of line or just downright embarrassing. Anyway, when we get to the table, Vee, who's been carrying this huge bag, plops the bag on her chair, and begins handing everyone a small giftbag, each a different color, but all had the same contents: 4 small tea light candles, some strawberry/peaches and cream candy, a small journal, and a hardback copy of the book "The Rules". No one was expecting this, so for a couple of minutes all you could hear is the pleasant mutters of 7 chattering women opening and closing the book, eating the candy, and rattling the tissue paper to see what else was in the bag. Finally, I find out what "The rules" all about... and finally the discussion begins...
to be continued.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Easy to start, hard to continue...

Man, that quote is so real in my life. I definitely have to work on that. In all areas of my life, I find it easy to start something, but maintaining something takes even more work and I usually slack off. Like this blogging thing. It's been a week and I haven't so much as looked at this let alone write in it. It's not that the desire has left, it's just that...well, life happens and i flow with it... It doesn't leave me too much time for blogging. Maybe next week I'll be a little better!!Anyways, Life is life... I wish I had time to tell you what's been up with me this last week... but writing that would take me the rest of the day... so...maybe another time. Anyways, I miss writing...so, I'm sure i'll pick it back up soon. Till then.... Peace..

Monday, January 12, 2004

Torn...

Well I had an interesting weekend. Nothing spectacular happened, but as I go over my weekend in my head. A lot happened emotionally for me regarding my feelings toward my two friends RH and AM. I saw them both this weekend. Wait, let me start from friday... If I don't finish, I'll just come back later (more like tomorrow) and finish. Okay...

FRIDAY: A good guy friend of mine, OS, whom I've been friends with since my junior year in high school (he actually took me to the prom since my boyfriend didn't want to go) and I were supposed to go dancing b/c his baby momma was out of town and this is the only time he's free to have fun and see his friends since she basically has him on lock!!! Well, we talked that day and had made plans to see each other, but that never happened. I guess my phone didn't have good reception where i was. After work, I went over to another friends house to eat up all his food and watch his movies. I was pretty much killing time until OS called me to go dancing. Once I decided to leave and go home, I discovered that OS had called me. I tried calling him back, but I guess he had already went out or something, so I just went home and went to sleep.

SATURDAY: I went to the symposium that RH had invited me to the last time we went out. He looked STUNNING!! I mean this brotha had on this nice 3pc. grey suit with some nice black stacy adams... and his nice leather briefcase just accentuated the look even more!! RH had his stuff together ya hear!!! When I saw him, I was like, Whoa... I think I did a great job containing what I felt. I doubt he noticed b/c I definitely kept my cool. Anyway, he looked at me a good many times... It was the first time I actually caught him looking! I think he was as pleased with me as I was with him.
After the first few minutes of greetings and etc., we went to meet up with everyone else and wait for the symposium to start. During this time, RH and I tried not to be right by each other the entire time, since there were other people there that he invited and a few were already kinda looking at me like... "who is she, is she his girlfriend?" One girl couldn't wait until RH went away to aske me how he and I met. She was trying her hardest to figure out what our status was and i was trying just as hard to make it very oblique... Women huh?
Anyway, this "symposium" was a really good forum for networking and since I'm kinda shy, I just listened in on the conversations going on around me. This one guy at our table, Mr. "Tito", started conversing with me and the 2 girls at my table. He was just asking basic questions related to work and school. He told us that he had graduated from Emory and before I knew it, I had said "Me too!!" Of course his gaze fell on me and we begin talking about Emory. Before I knew it, 30 minutes had went by and we had been talking about some of everything. He was a really nice guy. He came out in '00, and I in '02, yet we didn't know each other. It's funny how life works. Anyways, come to find out, he's one of RH's business partners. All while he and i were talking, RH kept looking over at us. Every once in a while RH and my eyes would meet through the crowd and we'd smile at each other as to say, " just making sure you were somewhere around". I felt really important that day...being around so many business saavy, going places, high goaled... people will make you feel that way i suppose...
Anyway, the symposium was wonderful. If you never heard of a company called ACN, you should definitely come to one of these meetings. It is a WONDERFUL opportunity and I am so excited about becoming a part of it.
After the symposium was over, I kinda waited around hoping that I could say goodbye to RH, but I was tired and hungry and the people he was talking to seemed like they were going to run thier mouth for another 30 min., so I left. On my way down the escalators, RH called me and asked me where I was b/c he didnt see me anymore and he wanted me to meet some people. I told him that I had left and he told me to call him when I got home. We talked a little that night and then I hit the bed. Though this wasn't really a "date" or anything, I just thought this time with him was still interesting. And it showed me a side of him i knew was there, but i've never seen personally. I had a great time.

SUNDAY: After church, I went to AM's apartment b/c we decided to go running together. I was super excited to be doing activities like that with him, but at the same time, I was really dreading having to run. I really wanted to run, so don't get me wrong, it's just that, I am not really a "runner". I hadn't ran in so long...I was really nervous about doing it. Anyways, I finally got there and he greeted me at the door as usual, with a hug, a kiss and a how was your day. I was all ready to run. So, we went running on the nature trail in his complex. Needless to say, I was tired pretty much right after we started!! lol But I hung in there for a while. Then, I saw it. The end was near, but wait....what the heck? Why was there this big hill at the END of the trail when you're all tired... Well...I gave up. I told him I was tired and I felt dizzy. He stopped with me... but informed me later that he laughed at me when he went back around for his second mile. I hit him and told him that by next month this time, I will be able to finish this with no problem. So we shall see. Once he finished his second mile, AM, me, and Taz (his little cute mini dotson) went in and got water. After that, I told him that we should stretch and then we started to do some ab workouts. I don't know what it is about working out together that makes men and women a little "turned on"... but I could tell that both of us was a little "worked up" from our work out.... As we laid there after the ab work out.... he kissed me. He kissed me a lot actually and there was so much passion and sexual tension there. I couldn't deny that this "friendship" could easily be a lot more. We ended up showering and he cooked some salmon, rice, and broccoli! It smelled delicious. I love a man that knows his way around the kitchen. I didn't eat with him b/c I knew my mother was going to cook something and our "Sunday family dinner" is a big thing!! So I passed this time, even though I stayed with him while he ate. I tried not to stare at him too long, but everytime I look at him, I have a hard time turning away. His eyes naturally twinkle. I mean it, it isn't that love stuff where you know...the guy/girl you're interested has a twinlke in their eye and they float in thin air, and they glow like an angel... okay this isn't that. I'm not in love or anything. He just has this natural sunshine in his eyes. I noticed it the first day we met. That's interesting to me. But anyway, I left after he ate. I didn't want to take up too much of his time. But between these two guys, I just don't know. I like both of them even though the feelings I have for each of them are soooo different. I can't tell which feelings feel the best! Maybe I don't have to choose. I mean, RH is a friend and though there could be something between us, there really isn't. And AM, well, though I know we are more than just casual friends, nothings been said, nothings been made official or exclusive, so we are just...friends too. I dont know. I just don't know about these two WONDERFUL guys. What's gonna happen??

Thursday, January 08, 2004

Mute....

I have nothing really to say today. I am in a pretty cool mood. I'm not busy at work. I have plenty of time to write...but nothing's coming out. I've been staring at this screen for about 10 min. and have erased every sentence I've started. I guess it's okay sometimes to not have anything really to say. So, maybe tomorrow...
Peace and Abundant Blessings.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

on my mind...

I've been kinda dazed lately. I've been doing a lot of thinking. No one topic per se...but my mind seems to carelessly wander during the day to different experiences, fantasies, and thoughts. I work in a rather closed office where everyone pretty much does their job and leave others alone. So, most of my day I spend alone. I remember a time that being alone with myself and my thoughts literally drove me crazy. That was a dark time for me. It was so bad that I would HAVE to turn on the television or radio before I opened my eyes and fully awoke in the mornings so that I wouldn't have even a second of time to think about my life. I was going through a rough patch. I had just graduated from Emory University and I was jobless, my fiance and I had just broken up and he went directly back to the female he cheated on me with, I had to move back home with my overprotective and naggin parents, and I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. I had no money, no job, no life, no love, no car, no one to talk to, no personal space, no anything....but bills and heartache. I was so depressed. I felt hopeless and alone... Sometimes I think about that place I was in, and I cry tears of joy that am no longer there. I know it was something I had to go through because it made me stronger and more appreciative of the life I lead now. I had to get to know me. In those quiet times in my bed, I would just lay and cry becuase I was in so much pain. I desired to work, I hated sitting around the house...but no one wanted to hire someone with no related job experience. I wanted a car to get out and see the world, I hated depending on family to take me everywhere. I had SO much love to give, yet no one around to give it to. Every guy I met either only wanted sex or didn't want anything at all from me. I had no one to talk to, no shoulder to cry on... it was literally me, myself, and I for a long time. I felt so bad, but I learned so much about myself. I learned how to withstand bad times and appreciate each tiny step toward my goal. I don't know what this has to do with anything... I guess this is what is on my mind alot. Just how grateful I am to be out of that slump and how those experiences made me an even better person.
Thank God for the rain and stormy weather in your life...it's just there to make your soil and foundation fertile and helps your flowers to bloom beautifully in their due season. I wouldn't appreciate the sun if I never had rain. So here's to both sunshine and rain!!!

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

AM.... part II

Hmmm, maybe there's something to this friendship AM and I are building. Did I tell you that I went to AM's house after my watch night service on New Year's? He had these beautiful vanilla candles on tiers of alternating heights and he made me the best apple martini I have ever had in my life. We pretty much chilled, watched movies and talked until we fell asleep in each others arms. I really like him. I feel a sense of security when I'm with him. Sometimes I think it's his 6'2, 265 lbs frame. But other times, i feel that even if he was 5'2 and 105 lbs, I'd still feel safe. I guess it's the way he holds me when we are together. I feel....protected. I love that feeling.
Anyways, we talk everyday and the more I spend time with him, the more I like him. He is really a cool guy. I mean, you know how some people say that they are laid back, but when you meet them, they are loud and hot headed and kinda annoying? Well AM isnt like that at all. He is exactly the way he described himself. And I like that.
I hate to get off the subject, but I was just thinking about this guy JJ. He's a guy I met through BP and he's the one who introduced me to this blogging thing. JJ is a nice guy, I'm sure, so don't get me wrong when i say this, but he was NOTHING like he said he was. I mean, I used to read his blog, and he would write about how fake atlanta women are and how they all want men for their money and material worth....yet when he met a woman like me who didn't care about all of that, he totally dissed me. He said he was laid back and fun to be around. HA!! On our first an final date, he threw a temper tantrum because the Hawks were losing. It was so bad that people around me asked me why I was with him and if I needed a ride home when he went to the bathroom!! I mean I love to have fun, but there's a difference between having fun and being obnoxious. You could tell that the people around us were getting ticked off with him. But did that stop him from making an a$$ out of himself? NOPE!! I admire his lack of caring about what others think, and the fact that he acted a hot mess on our first date isn't what really upset me. What got my blood to boiling is that he thought I was not fun b/c i didn't embarrass myself with him. He didn't want to talk to me anymore. I thought that was rude and very mean. I was willing to be friends with him regardless, but he couldn't even do that. I wish he would have told me the truth about his personality before we went out so i would have known what to expect!!

Okay enough about JJ...more about AM. I went over to AM's house after work yesterday because he asked me to come. He lives pretty far away from me, but i'm willing to make that drive. He always greets me at the door with a big smile, a warm hug, a soft kiss, and a genuine 'how was your day?" That's something a girl could get used to. He works at night because he's in grad school during the day. School hasn't started back yet, but he still had to work last night...so we only had a couple of hours to spend together. However, those hours I spent with him were better than some days and weeks I might have spent with others in the past. He gives true meaning to the phrase, "Quality Time".
Anyways, we have been getting closer and closer since we've met and I'm anxious to see what happens with us!!

Monday, January 05, 2004

A new year!!!

Well I am happy!! It is a new year and I am alive to see it!!! It is amazing how much we take for granted. Someone died a minute before new years day and never got to see the new and exciting things this year may hold. I am truly grateful and I give God all of the praise for allowing me to see a new day...and a new year!!
Well, it is business as usual at the ole office. Everyone is back from their vacation and we are starting all over again!! I have tons of work to do so I probably won't be too long on here. I just wanted to share my last past week with you. I went to church on new year's eve...as usual...and I had a wonderful time. We stayed in church until 1:30 though we usually get out at 12:30, but for some reason, service didn't seem as long as usual. I guess because I was really having fun. 2003 was a pretty eventful year for me. I lost my grandparents a day apart from each other (my mother's dad and my father's mom). I had to get a restraining order and eventually send to jail a guy who stalked and attempted to rape me. I lost a good friend in the war, R.I.P. Jamaal. My ex. fiance married the girl he cheated on me with. My cousin had a miscarriage. My boyfriend moved to texas. My half brother and his wife split up, leaving my little nephew in shambles, I lost my job....and my best friend called off her wedding because she found out her fiance had lied about everything!! Okay, as I read over these events, I realized that a lot of unfortunate things happened last year. But then I think about all the good things that happened last year, and I get excited all over again: I met a lot of new friends, I bought a new car, I lost a few pounds, I got a new exciting job with great people, benefits, stock, and salary, I recorded a couple of commercial songs and backup vocals, I was able to do, get, and buy just about everything my heart desired, my dad celebrated his 50th birthday, my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary, we had our first family vacation in 6 years, my cousin and I reconciled our differences and became good friends again, I was happy for most of the year, and I had people who love me around at all times!!! As the songwriter says, "I've had some blue days, I've had some hills to climb, I've had some weary days and sleepless nights. But when I look around and think things over, all of my good days, outweigh my bad days, so I'll just say, Thank you Lord, I won't complain."

At this Big Age...

I'm 44 now and I'm finally starting to come into my own. I feel like I've grown more these last 2 years then I have my entire li...