Torn...

Well I had an interesting weekend. Nothing spectacular happened, but as I go over my weekend in my head. A lot happened emotionally for me regarding my feelings toward my two friends RH and AM. I saw them both this weekend. Wait, let me start from friday... If I don't finish, I'll just come back later (more like tomorrow) and finish. Okay...

FRIDAY: A good guy friend of mine, OS, whom I've been friends with since my junior year in high school (he actually took me to the prom since my boyfriend didn't want to go) and I were supposed to go dancing b/c his baby momma was out of town and this is the only time he's free to have fun and see his friends since she basically has him on lock!!! Well, we talked that day and had made plans to see each other, but that never happened. I guess my phone didn't have good reception where i was. After work, I went over to another friends house to eat up all his food and watch his movies. I was pretty much killing time until OS called me to go dancing. Once I decided to leave and go home, I discovered that OS had called me. I tried calling him back, but I guess he had already went out or something, so I just went home and went to sleep.

SATURDAY: I went to the symposium that RH had invited me to the last time we went out. He looked STUNNING!! I mean this brotha had on this nice 3pc. grey suit with some nice black stacy adams... and his nice leather briefcase just accentuated the look even more!! RH had his stuff together ya hear!!! When I saw him, I was like, Whoa... I think I did a great job containing what I felt. I doubt he noticed b/c I definitely kept my cool. Anyway, he looked at me a good many times... It was the first time I actually caught him looking! I think he was as pleased with me as I was with him.
After the first few minutes of greetings and etc., we went to meet up with everyone else and wait for the symposium to start. During this time, RH and I tried not to be right by each other the entire time, since there were other people there that he invited and a few were already kinda looking at me like... "who is she, is she his girlfriend?" One girl couldn't wait until RH went away to aske me how he and I met. She was trying her hardest to figure out what our status was and i was trying just as hard to make it very oblique... Women huh?
Anyway, this "symposium" was a really good forum for networking and since I'm kinda shy, I just listened in on the conversations going on around me. This one guy at our table, Mr. "Tito", started conversing with me and the 2 girls at my table. He was just asking basic questions related to work and school. He told us that he had graduated from Emory and before I knew it, I had said "Me too!!" Of course his gaze fell on me and we begin talking about Emory. Before I knew it, 30 minutes had went by and we had been talking about some of everything. He was a really nice guy. He came out in '00, and I in '02, yet we didn't know each other. It's funny how life works. Anyways, come to find out, he's one of RH's business partners. All while he and i were talking, RH kept looking over at us. Every once in a while RH and my eyes would meet through the crowd and we'd smile at each other as to say, " just making sure you were somewhere around". I felt really important that day...being around so many business saavy, going places, high goaled... people will make you feel that way i suppose...
Anyway, the symposium was wonderful. If you never heard of a company called ACN, you should definitely come to one of these meetings. It is a WONDERFUL opportunity and I am so excited about becoming a part of it.
After the symposium was over, I kinda waited around hoping that I could say goodbye to RH, but I was tired and hungry and the people he was talking to seemed like they were going to run thier mouth for another 30 min., so I left. On my way down the escalators, RH called me and asked me where I was b/c he didnt see me anymore and he wanted me to meet some people. I told him that I had left and he told me to call him when I got home. We talked a little that night and then I hit the bed. Though this wasn't really a "date" or anything, I just thought this time with him was still interesting. And it showed me a side of him i knew was there, but i've never seen personally. I had a great time.

SUNDAY: After church, I went to AM's apartment b/c we decided to go running together. I was super excited to be doing activities like that with him, but at the same time, I was really dreading having to run. I really wanted to run, so don't get me wrong, it's just that, I am not really a "runner". I hadn't ran in so long...I was really nervous about doing it. Anyways, I finally got there and he greeted me at the door as usual, with a hug, a kiss and a how was your day. I was all ready to run. So, we went running on the nature trail in his complex. Needless to say, I was tired pretty much right after we started!! lol But I hung in there for a while. Then, I saw it. The end was near, but wait....what the heck? Why was there this big hill at the END of the trail when you're all tired... Well...I gave up. I told him I was tired and I felt dizzy. He stopped with me... but informed me later that he laughed at me when he went back around for his second mile. I hit him and told him that by next month this time, I will be able to finish this with no problem. So we shall see. Once he finished his second mile, AM, me, and Taz (his little cute mini dotson) went in and got water. After that, I told him that we should stretch and then we started to do some ab workouts. I don't know what it is about working out together that makes men and women a little "turned on"... but I could tell that both of us was a little "worked up" from our work out.... As we laid there after the ab work out.... he kissed me. He kissed me a lot actually and there was so much passion and sexual tension there. I couldn't deny that this "friendship" could easily be a lot more. We ended up showering and he cooked some salmon, rice, and broccoli! It smelled delicious. I love a man that knows his way around the kitchen. I didn't eat with him b/c I knew my mother was going to cook something and our "Sunday family dinner" is a big thing!! So I passed this time, even though I stayed with him while he ate. I tried not to stare at him too long, but everytime I look at him, I have a hard time turning away. His eyes naturally twinkle. I mean it, it isn't that love stuff where you know...the guy/girl you're interested has a twinlke in their eye and they float in thin air, and they glow like an angel... okay this isn't that. I'm not in love or anything. He just has this natural sunshine in his eyes. I noticed it the first day we met. That's interesting to me. But anyway, I left after he ate. I didn't want to take up too much of his time. But between these two guys, I just don't know. I like both of them even though the feelings I have for each of them are soooo different. I can't tell which feelings feel the best! Maybe I don't have to choose. I mean, RH is a friend and though there could be something between us, there really isn't. And AM, well, though I know we are more than just casual friends, nothings been said, nothings been made official or exclusive, so we are just...friends too. I dont know. I just don't know about these two WONDERFUL guys. What's gonna happen??