Well, I said that I'd tell you about PL, so I will...even though I no longer have the desire to talk about him. Isn't it funny how one day you can be super excited about someone or something and out of the blue, that excitement just fades? I mean, nothing has changed, but I am no longer confused, happy, or excited about him liking me. Anyway, he and I met a while ago and at the time we were instantly drawn to each other. We'd flirt with and smile at each other all the time. We'd talk about everything. He's a 3rd grade teacher and he loves kids even though he has none of his own. He's 26, mixed (puerto rican, black, and indian), a grad student (getting his PhD in Education), and he tutors during his spare time. He's a super-light skinned guy (of course, look what he's mixed with) with curly black hair worn in cornrows, 6 ft. , medium build, light brown eyes, and the biggest, prettiest, most wonderful smile known to man. He literally smiles ALL THE TIME. I have never seen him when he's not smiling. He even smiles while he's talking. It is so cute. Anyway, we used to flirt a lot and finally it got to the point where i was like, man, we need to go ahead and kick it. While I never said this aloud, we were heading in the "talking" direction: we'd go out and hold hands and talk and flirt and all that kind of stuff. I knew he liked me, which is why it was hard for me to figure out why he never tried anything with me. Then when it got to the point where we kicked it so much that we were actually an "unofficial" couple, he came clean with me. He told me he liked me, but he has a girl and he wanted me to know before things got even more serious between us. Is it just me, or do people not realize that the word "BUT" cancels out everything that was said before it!!! Who cares if you think I'm sexy, or fine, or want to be with me, or you're flattered... the fact is that you have a girlfriend. Dang. I was mad even though I really had no reason to be. He never crossed the line or cheated on her with me... he was squeaky clean. So, I just accepted it and we stopped all the hand holding and eye gazing and tried to be just regular friends...even though that fire was still there. So that leads you up to now. Though we still went out every once in a while, nothing ever happened. Then I met AM, and now PL wants to leave his girl for me!! Ha....life's funny. No man to many men in a matter of weeks!! What's that about??
Anyway, I talked to him earlier today via email since we're both at work and I can't just be chatting on the phones. He said he was sorry for letting his lust overtake him and he understood if I was mad at him, but he said meant every word and he really wanted me to consider dating him now.
I don't think I'm gonna do it. I mean when we were kickin it the first time when he had his little girlfriend, he didn't give her up for me. So why should I do it for him this time? I mean of course NOW, he's willing to give her up, but look how long it took? I mean, he's probably just tired of her now or something...so he's running to me. Sigh... well, f it's really meant for us to be together, we will be together... all in due time. That's my motto. I can't stress over stuff like this anymore. I figure that if it's meant to be, it will be. Regardless....
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