Flashback break...

Things aren’t going too well in the land of Sway these days. Things have gotten to the point where the only way I can drift off to sleep is by tricking my mind into concentrating hard on what I’d do if I won the lottery.
Problem is…I don’t play the lottery…so I have a pretty slim chance of that ever happening.
I swear it is ALWAYS something isn’t it? Does life ever have a “smooth sailing” year for me? Don’t get me wrong… it’s not at disaster level…but it’s close enough for comfort.

Usher crashed his car about a month ago. I can’t remember if I mentioned it on here or not…but yeah. He hydroplaned while going down a long curvy windy street and crashed the car on the side of the curb in some trees/shrubs. He never got it fixed. According to him, the car damage would cost more to fix than the car is actually worth…so he’s been car-less for the last month or so. It’s been fine with him although it bugged the heck out of me. He works close to home and his co-workers seem to have no problem dropping him to and fro.

Well… last week, he finally saved enough to buy another car. I was thrilled. He was too really. He came Friday to my house to pick me up. Every since I got a ticket IN September for expired tags even though my tags said September… I’ve been laying low. I tried to explain to the cop that I’ve been trying to get my tags but my stupid car won’t pass emissions.

*sidenote*
How your car gonna be a ’02 and NOT be able to pass. That ish is still new! grrrr!
*end sidenote*

Anyway…I’ve been spending ALL my money fixing every little code they said was causing my “check engine light” to come on. And still…. The light just won’t go off! I had the same problem last year…but it finally passed. This year…it’s a no go. The last thing the dealer told me is that I need a new transmission and maybe then it’ll pass. MAYBE????
If I’m going to pay a GRAND to get my transmission fixed with no guarantee that I’ll pass… then I’m gonna pass.
There’s no way I was gonna dish that out and my junk still doesn’t pass emissions. I’m not that fond of the car anyways… so I’ve officially quit the car. We’re getting a divorce. And I’m actually turning the car back in to the dealership tomorrow. (long story..don’t feel like telling) So I’ll be carless for about two weeks until I get paid again. Then I can go get the kind of car I want. That’ll be a relief. But these next 2 weeks with out a whip is NOT the business. I am sooooooo sad about that. I didn’t play this thing right…which really sucks. So I’m saving every penny I have and was happy to have my baby come rescue me from my car woes this weekend.

Saturday was fun. We went to the park and then had a “family day”. I took him to meet my aunts and cousins and etc.
He fit right in there. That’s a good thing…but a bad thing since they recruited him to play his favorite game (Madden ‘07) and made us late to our next engagement.
He finally met my sweetie pies. My cousin’s kids. I go see them at least twice a week.
As soon as he saw Zion, the 3 month old, he melted. “Sway, this is how Usher Jr. is gonna look! I can’t wait”

*record scratch…errr*

Uh…negro… you CAN wait. And you will! I had to let him know that while I really want a little one… please know that I need ‘bout a year or two to get my pockets at least halfway straight. And um….there needs to be a ring on this here finger of mine patnuh!

Anyways he and Zion hit it off really well…


Ain’t they cute?



So things were going well right?
We left there and headed to his cousin’s baby shower. It was more like a family reunion than anything. We get there 10 minutes late mind you…and there were 3 people there…none of which was the mommy-to-be, her husband, or her parents. So we’re chillin. People are pouring in and all of the “Hey’s” and “Boy you done got big’s” began to fill the room. Usher’s introducing me to his cousins, and aunts and even his grandmother who lives in Augusta. Everyone is feeling me and telling him how cute I am. He beams. We’re happy. All is well. Except for my car…but hey…at least I can get another one. *shrug*

Monday rolls around and Usher gets a tooth ache. It’s so bad that he calls me while I’m looking at used cars on my lunch break to tell me that he’s going to the dentist to figure out how to make the pain stop. About 30 minutes later he calls to tell me that his insurance doesn’t pay but so much for the procedure he needs..and that his out of pocket expense is more than he has right now. Unfortunately I can’t help him although I have it, because if I gave it to him, I know he wouldn’t be able to pay me back in time for me to get my car next week. So I’m like… call your job and ask for an advance. *sigh* He calls in and finds out that the boss needs him to come to the office first thing in the morning (which is this morning) *more sighs* Very bad news. No one goes to the office and comes out happy.
Well not only did he NOT get the advance…but he gets fired.
Blah!
I thought it was because of the fight that happened 2 weeks ago. ( I did mention the fight right?)

*Flashback*
Thursday Sept. 28th
3:38pm
Cell rings

Me: Hey baby
Usher: Hey honey…what u doin
Me: At the lil office trying to pay the taxes on my tag since my stupid car won’t pass emissions
Usher: *calmly* Oh… well can um… you come and get me. I just punched my supervisor in the face.

Me: What?!? Huh? For real? *stopping dead in my tracks*

Usher: *still calm* Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later. You coming?

Me: uh…yeah. Lemme call you back. They just called my number.

So I get on the road and I’m on my way to him. When he calls again.

Usher: Where u at?

Me: On 400. I’m about 3 exits away…but there’s SOOOO much traffic. I think there’s an accident on Holcomb Bridge or something. I’ll be there..

Usher: aight…well just call me. I’m gonna be standing on the corner. I had to leave the bldg. because my supervisor came at me with a mallet and swung on me twice. I blocked him the first time..but he called me a B*itch N*gger and I lost it. I picked his ass up and slammed him on his head. He’s unconscious. They called the ambulance…and the cops are coming…so my co-workers told me to go.

Me: *not believing what I’m hearing* Whaaaaaaaaaat??? *feeling so confused*

So I’m riding in my car with the gas face like…why the hell would you fight your supervisor? Like…for real fight. Is it that serious where ya’ll had to come to blows?

Usher hasn’t changed at all. He can be the sweetest guy…but it doesn’t change the fact that he is a complete hot head.

He got lucky though. They fired the supervisior because everyone’s account stated that the supervisor provoked Usher. Everything was squashed and Usher was back to work.

*Flashforward*

So…they didn’t fire his behind for the fight... But two weeks later…they are letting him go? Oooookay. So he’s out of a job. I’m out of a car. He has a tooth ache…and no money. I have money and need it. Tough spot.

Let’s see how this one pans out. *sigh*

HE changed Me (part 3)

David was nothing like my first love, GT. GT was shy but quietly strong. Dark with a dazzling smile. He was serious about school and continuously talked about his goals. He was one of those guys most girls labeled as a “nice guy”.
David…however, was not like that. He was a complete showoff. Always entertaining a crowd…always making jokes…always dressed as if he was Tyson Beckford. Actually, I don’t think anyone could have convinced him he wasn’t Tyson. The only thing David came to school for was to chat it up with friends, and play sports.

After talking to him for a while, I realized that he was soooo not my type. His infatuation with himself and his POLO clothes irritated me to no end. Yet he persistently persued me…and the more we talked, the more he let down his guard. I got a chance to see a side of David that many didn’t even know he had. I always find the good in people. I liked the new David I saw and my interest became genuine.

We talked after school everyday for about two months. The New Year came and went. He suggested often that we go out, but every time he did I’d lie and say that I had other plans. Truth was…I quite ready to "officially date"yet. We had gotten to the point where he’d carry my books to a few of my periods…he’d sit with me and Biah at lunch…and we’d even started kicking it after school before our respected practices…but going out was a different story. That meant I had to take him home to meet my parents.

The first week back after the New Year’s break I gave in to his advances and went out on our first date. I didn’t really know what to expect. He had his own car and this would be my first time ever going on a date with out a parent driving.
Friday night came surprisingly fast, and before I knew it, my mom had interrogated him within an inch of his life…and after that… were finally free from her…from school…from everyone. We were completely alone and I was thrilled.

My first real date!!!

I had no idea what to expect. But I did know one thing… we were going to kiss a lot. Uninterupted. With no fear of a straggling teacher turning the corner afterschool and catching us.

He was a perfect gentleman that night. He opened my car door, held my hand, payed for everything…there was nothing he didn’t do.
I guess I had him pegged wrong…
What happened to our kissing all night? I wondered.

I must have been a little more curious about this stuff than he was.
He drove me home with not so much as a peck the whole night.

Maybe he’s waiting for the goodnight kiss.
Does my breath stink?
Is my lips chapped?

I casually reach into my purse and pull out my chapstick. He doesn’t seem to notice.

“So what are you doing tomorrow?” He asked.

I shrugged. “ I dunno. Nothing probably. You?”

“I was hoping to see you again.” He smiled.

“Sure” I replied. He gave me a hug and paused slightly before moving in for a small peck on my lips.

That’s it?

“Night, Sway. I’ll call you tomorrow. Can’t wait to see you.” He beamed.

Guess that IS it.

For the next 3 weeks we went out every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The peck became a kiss…which became more and more as the weeks went by.

I was loving all of the affection and attention. He was very gentle, passionate and never too overbearing. He'd initiate all contact, but always let me lead how long and what we did next.

I guess that’s why I was so surprised when one saturday night during our normal smooching session, he stood up and pulled out a rubber.

HE changed Me (part 2)

Lakeside was a typical high school… there were groups and cliques everywhere. The cool and popular won “best dressed” and “Homecoming king/queen”…the chess and debate team were at the top of the class…and the jocks were just that….JOCKS! They had the prettiest women, got away with nothing short of murder, and everybody loved them.

My 3 best friends and I didn’t quite fit into any of the pre-made categories so we just formed our own little group. *shrug*

We had a routine. Each morning since we started our new school, we’d scramble to the downstairs bathroom in the corner…and do our hair/fix our clothes/put on our gloss and gossip until all 4 of us were ready to go together down “The Catwalk”. The Catwalk was a long narrow hallway lined on each side with groups of guys waiting to look at/make fun of/ gawk at/ try to holla at anyone that walked down it. You literally feel like the moment you turn the corner on to this corridor, you’re on the runway and everything from head to toe is on display. When I could, I avoided the Catwalk like nobody’s business, but as luck would have it, my locker was housed there. So was one of my two best friends. So for support, all four of us would walk as quickly as possible from the bathroom to our lockers.

I barely breathed from the time we turned the corner until we successfully made it to the lockers. I hated being stared at. You can feel the eyes burning on you as you walk and the uncomfortable-ness made it hard for me to breathe. I had no idea what they were thinking…and I wanted to keep it that way. If they were laughing at me…I wouldn’t know because I walked briskly and never looked in the direction of either male-studded wall. My eyes steadily stayed forward…or I shyly looked down. NEVER did I make eye contact.

A week had went by since our victory at the dome and this Friday we happened to be having a pep rally to get ready for our Saturday game in South Georgia for the Georgia Title. The morning started as usual… I got off the bus and scurried to the bathroom to see if my friends were there. ‘Biah and Tee greeted me with big smiles as I opened the bathroom door.

“I told you Sway would be next” Biah beamed. “Kelly lives 3 minutes away and is ALWAYS the last one. I don’t understand!”

I plopped my bag down on the wall by theirs and playfully squeezed in between them at the mirrors. We looked like grapes. All of us in our purple and gold “Royal Divas” t-shirts and purple shorts. This was the only time the school wavered our “shorts below your fingertips” rule. Our dance attire was cute, short, and very flattering to my figure. I could show off my legs without getting in trouble.

Finally Kelly straggled in to complete our group and we were off to our lockers like we’ve done so many times before. I took a deep breath and began my walk.

Focus Sway… don’t fall.
Act non-chalant.
Don’t listen to what they are saying…
There not laughing at you… keep walking
You’re almost there…
Don’t fall…
Breeeaaatheeeee…
A few more steps and we’re th…

“Excuse me!” Someone says.

I’ve passed the voice, but it sounds like it’s coming from someone on my right.

He’s not talking to me. I assure myself as I keep my focus on the nearing locker.

“Excuse me!” The voice rang again, slightly louder.

My girls all started looking back, so I glance across my shoulder for a quick second too and found a guy leaning forward slightly more than the other guys. HE was looking right at me.

I started slowing down and I stumbled a little over my own feet.

Shoot! Act calm, it wasn’t that noticeable.

My friends take the extra two steps towards the lockers…and although I’ve slowed down, I manage to reach them way before he reaches us.

I always thought that the rule has always been to NEVER approach a woman when she’s with her girls. He apparently didn’t get the memo.

“Um…excuse me.” He said bursting through our little half circle around the locker ignoring all my girls while extending his hand to take mine.

“I don’t mean to be rude…” He started, still not looking at any of my girls… “but um, my name is David and if it’s possible, I’d like about 5 minutes of your time this morning. Would you mind that?” He macked in a obviously fake bedroom voice.

My girls were looking at him like… I can’t believe this dude just stepped to her without even acknowledging us.

His eyes were still locked on mine though. He seemed completely uninterested in anything else in the world… including his boys down the hall laughing at him and shaking their head as if they were saying… man, she’s gonna diss him sooooooo badly. And the way I’ve been dismissing the men at this new school thus far…they were right on point to think so…
But there was something about his boldness…

The way he just singled me out in the middle of a crowded hall…
The way he had the nerve to step to me without knowing what my reaction would be… in FRONT of my girls…AND his boys…
The way he never diverted his eyes the entire time he spoke.
He wasn’t looking at my body, my legs… or my breast… but he kept his gaze on my eyes… daring me to look through him.

“um… alright.” I said as I dodged the surprised and agitated glares from the friends and wiggled my way out the semi-circle with my hands cupped in his for support.

“I’ll be right back ya’ll” I mouthed as I walked towards the other end of the hall. This school was one of the few in our city with a swimming pool. No one was allowed there during school hours so this end of the hall was always quiet.

He stopped a few steps shy of the pool entrance and turned towards me.

Wow… he looks exotic. I observed. His brown eyes were slightly slanted up and his cheek bone was high. He had such a strong face…well defined jawline, full lips, total package.

“I asked all my friends about you and no one knew anything. I couldn’t believe that because how could a girl so beautiful be such a mystery? I’d think everyone would be trying to find out more about you. You’re perfect. I mean, it must have hurt when you feel from heaven…Angel.”

I smiled.

Not because I thought it was sweet… but more because I was stiffling my urge to laugh.

Is he serious? He said that like he’s rehearsed that line a million times. Is this what I ditched my girls for?

“People have tried to find out about me. It’s just that they were trying for the wrong reasons. I don’t open up to just anyone.”

For the first time, his confident look faded and he looked down the hall as if to think of something else to say.

“Not to be mean or anything but...I’ve heard a lot of lines and I’m not really into that. I like guys who speak from the heart. When you have something to say… you know where my locker is.”
With that… I turned and walked away.

“Sway!” He says.

I stop and look at him. How does he know my name?

“Okay, okay, wait. I’m not trying to run game on you. I just want your number so maybe we can talk sometime and I can get to know you. You seem different. I just want a chance to get to know why. That’s all.”

He seemed genuine enough. His voice was now that of a typical 16 yr old. He was still confident…but I could tell that he had no idea what I was going to say next…and that was new to him.

How do you know my name? I questioned.

Well...I...uh...I saw you the first day of school and thought you were cute, but you know... it was the first day...and I was just having fun with my boys. Then I kept seeing you around all the time. You walk down this hall everyday and I always say to my boy how cute you are. But he thought you looked too "goody" for me. Then I saw you at the game last week. You were so lively and you seemed like you were a fun person. I've been asking everyone about you and found out enough to know that I was gonna come talk to you monday. But I've been....you know... it just wasn't the right time until today."

“Oh.” I found myself saying. I had no idea why I gave in so quickly. It’s just something about him.

"Well...just give me a call and maybe we can get to know each other better. I go to bed at 10:15 so call before then."

I take the pen and scrap paper he pulls from his pockets and scribble my name and number down. Relief washed over his face. It seemed to read…Mission Accomplished.

Indeed it was…
I was still clueless.