In memory II...

While wednesday marked the homegoing of my grandfather... today marks the homegoing of my grandmother. A day apart. Sad, but true. My mother's father, then my father's mother. Both sides grieving. Leaving me in the middle. Trying to be strong for both greiving parents, since they were not really able to comfort each other. As I said in the previous post. I was going through a lot at that time. To have lost my grandfather only a day before...hearing this news put me into more shock. The night of the day my grandfather's died, my dad called his mothers house to tell her about the devestating news. No one answered, so he left a message. 10 min. later, my aunt called to tell him that "Gramma" was in the ER due to chest pains. So that night, while grieving for my grandfather, my mother and I accompanied my dad to the ER to see my "Gramma". His entire family, plus her pastor, was already there. We all embraced each other and everyone looked like they were on the verge of tears. My dad went in to see her after our 2hrs and 30 min. of waiting. He told us that she was in good spirits and that she was talking "faith". She knew that God was going to bless her. He prayed for her and they talked. I am so glad that he got a chance to see her and speak to her before her death. Unfortunately my mother didn't get that same opportunity with her dad. Things were looking up for my "Gramma". They said she had double pnemonia in her lungs, but she was better by the time we left. During the night, she had some complications and that morning, my grandmother passed.
It felt so unreal. 2 loved ones gone in 2 days. I felt numb. My psyche wouldn't let me show my true feelings at that time. I was too afraid that if I broke down, everyone else around me would too...and I couldn't handle that. At their wakes, I just stared at them in the casket. I stood by them for hours...both of them. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was like, I couldn't believe that they were gone. I couldn't accept that this was really it. The last time I'd see them on this side. It hit me hard but I couldn't let it out. I don't think I really let it out for them until the summer and I'm still greiving even now. I miss them so much. They were both so wonderful. My gramma used to always tell me how proud of me she was. She knew how to make you feel special. And she always picked the BEST cards for christmas, birthdays, and other special occasions. She's truly missed. I love you gramma. Muah.