Just when i thought...

I had it all figured out...


Friday March 17th
TGIF restaurant 8:16pm

Him: So how you been sweetheart.
Me: *glaring at him & wondering why I agreed to have dinner with him* I've been great.
Him: Well you definitely look great. *smiling*
Me: *dryly* Thanks.
Him: So... I just wanted to tell you a few things since it's been a while since we've talked. I wasn't gonna call you anymore since you told me not to. But it's funny how life works.
Me: *looking uninterested*
Him: Well, I just wanted to start off by saying that Sway, baby, I love you so much. No matter what ever happens between us or what the future holds for you, or me, or... Uuuuuus.... Just know that I never meant to hurt you and i never fell out of love with you. You and I both know that we are soulmates... and whether we be together in the future or not, no one or nothing can change that fact. We fit. You're still my rib. Always have been, always will be.
Me: *struggling with everything inside of me to not hit him dead in his mouth* mmm-hmmm.

So he goes on and on about the real reason for him going back to Columbus and yadda yadda yadda...
The story made sense. Alot more than what he gave me when we first broke up. But the fact remained that he left me. And he went back to Karen!!! NOT ACCEPTABLE.

I remained quiet because I wanted him to say all he had to say in order for me to blast him with everything i've been holding in for the last 3.5 months. It was just the week before that I had realized how angry i was and magically, he's here in front of me. And i can really say all of this to him. I guess that's why i really wanted to go. I needed closure. I know he know how i felt, but i wanted to say it to him. I wanted him to know he was dead wrong for what he did. I needed closure.

I didn't get it.

Him: blah blah blah blah blah.
Me: *thinking..."will you shut up so i can tell you how I feel."*
Him: blah blah blah...and so since you and i both know that, I want you to have this. *pulling out a small, black velvet, heart-shaped box*
Me: Now tuning back in...and fully aware that I now have a black shaped box in front of me... Huh? *looking at him and at back down at the box.

I was confused. I KNOW this neegro didn't pull out no ring box.

Him: Open it.
Me: *still looking at him with the gas face*

Pause...

Sighing, I open the box. In it was an engagement ring.

What irony.

When I want to marry him, he leaves. When i'm ready to leave, he wants to marry me. *smh*

I guess he expected me to be happy. I mean really, we did have a fairy tale love. I've never experienced a relationship like the one I had with TG. I'd be lying if I told you that I don't still love him. And I know he knows that I'm still in love with him. But I'd be a fool to marry him after what he just did to me. I'd be a fool to just bury it all under the rug and take him back with no questions and open arms.

And you know what, I don't feel like being a fool.

But i do still love him. lol

So these emotions and thoughts were running through my head for so long, I didn't realize that I had been staring at the ring for quite sometime.

I guess he finally figured out that this wouldn't be as easy as he thought, so he told me that I didn't have to give him an answer right now. And he said that he wanted me to keep the ring no matter what because it was rightfully mine. He also gave me "my" wedding band (it was a set) and showed me his matching one.

Him: "i'll keep this on my middle finger until the day you decide to take me back, then i'll put it where it really belongs"

lol.. This man is something else.

I closed the box with the rings in it. And put it in my purse. I had no intentions of telling him yes. But i couldn't bring myself to tell him no either.

I needed to run this by my friends... even though i already knew what they would say. lol

I know at the end of the day... unless God Himself comes back and tells me that TG's the one, I will move on...and so will he.