Happy Anniversary!

Back to the drawing board i suppose. I was really just getting into the groove of going to bed late and waking up late. lol. I hate that I didn't take today off. It would have been a wonderful day to just sleep in. We had an all-staff meeting this morning that lasted until lunch and honestly, I would have much rather laid in my bed until noon than to be in a darkly lit conference room with about 599 other sleepy co-workers listening to all of the "big shots" talk over my head. Don't they know that I don't/won't comprehend anything other than "hello" and "goodmorning" before 10am? Geez. Oh well. It was actually cool once I got a few hot cocoa's up in me. Maybe tomorrow I'll give you a brief synopsis of what was said. I've realized that I hardly ever talk about work here. And what we do is soooo important.... i think i should start sharing it with you guys.
Anywho...
speaking of work, I celebrated my one year anniversary here not too long ago. It doesn't seem like it's been an entire year at this ole office. It's amazing how time flies. Along with my work anniversary, as of last friday I am also celebrating my one year blog anniversary!! Hooray!!! *insert flips, applause and shouts* My first entry was short:

November 26, 2003
Welcome...Welcome
Well hello world!!!! Can't write now, but I just wanted to introduce myself to the world. This is my first time writing anything about myself really. So this should be great therapy for me...and probably comical for you. I don't know. I think my life is a lot simpler nowadays. If I were to take a chunk out of my life and put it on paper two years ago. It would read like the script from All My Children or something. But hey, life is life. Right?? Well, hopefully we'll get better acquainted soon.
Perfectly Chaotic thoughts by Sway at 8:43 AM


And here's my first "official" entry called NEW BEGINNINGS . (CLICK HERE)

So congrats to me. I am really proud of myself. (if you can't tell by now..lol) Besides men, I've never stuck with anything this long before. So it truly is a wonderful occassion for me. What is funny though is how my life hasn't really dramatically changed since last year this time. It's like, it was completely different earlier this year, but today as opposed to last year this same time, you'd have no idea that any time went by. I'm still at the same job, same church, still single and still needing someone to hold me through the winter. It's crazy. My life has never been this consistent before. I'm not sure if I like that or not. At least I've let some people go in my life...and I've added a few to even things out.

Reminiscing....

I remember last year this time I had just met AM. He and I had a beautiful friendship/relationship. To this day, I don't know many people that can make me laugh as much as he did. I just enjoyed being in his presence. We didn't do much when we were together, but just talking and lounging around made me feel so good. In fact, I don't think anyone has made me feel that comfortable since. But as the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. He was definintely for a season. I haven't spoken to AM since the beginning of september. He just one day stopped calling. No warning, no reason, we just stopped talking. Initially I was hurt because I felt that I lost a great friend. But I began to realize that maybe his purpose in my life had been fulfilled and now that he's gone, God will send someone else in my life that will even surpass the effect AM had on me.

I also remember last year this time that I found myself dating KS and had decided to break up with him. The funny thing about this is that within the last month we've been rekindling our friendship. It's amazing to realize how all that's happened since we were last together didn't affect the relationship we still have, which is very rare. Usually, experiences I've had since meeting a person usually change my opinion/outlook/feelings about them if a huge amount of time has passed since last speaking to them. This is not to say that he and I are going to get back together because I'm not trying to go down that particular road. Sway doesn't backtrack..and if I did... I sure would pick a better relationship to backtrack for. lol. But it is good to at least have him as a friend again.

As I reflect back over my year of blogging... I've learned so much about myself. I've realized for the first time that I am VERY chatty and longwinded. hahaha. I never really knew that. (why didn't ya'll tell me!!) I also realized that though I share alot on here... there's SOOOO much that I never shared. Which kinda bothers me because my sole purpose for starting this blog was to vent and to get out all of the things that I keep bottled inside. If I can't have an outlet here...then where? So.... *sigh* my focus for this next year is to tell all!! I've been a "surface" blogger. I only tell the good...or the day to day happenings of my life. I haven't really even hit the inner soul of me or the major "drama" that unfolds in my life. lol I tell my surface thoughts about things, people and situations but not those thoughts that I keep locked up in my head forever and ever. I guess sometimes getting deep with myself on here is scary because unlike thoughts that you can just push back and forget about....these words will last (and last and last). I can only remember so much of how i felt last year about AM, but because I WROTE it down, I can read exactly what i was feeling at that moment. And in the same respect, opening myself and my heart here will cause me to really take a good look at myself and where I am. It will cause me to face my feelings head on and I think I'm finally ready for that. The bad side about it is that you all will finally see how CRAZY i really am!! lol. So...get ready for me...unaldulterated! Unsensored! You ready? Alright! Let the bloggin begin.