Thanks

You know, every since my birthday week, one storm after another has just continuously crashed on the shore of my life. It's gotten to the point where I actually hesitate before answering my phone nowadays. It really got the best of me this weekend. I took bereavement leave on Wednesday to allow myself some time to grieve and to rest. All of the other situations I have going on has made me very sluggish and tired. And honestly, I needed those days off to just retreat. For the first time in 5 years, I'm actually worried about my job. They've laid off 40 people already, and their may be more to come considering the economic times we're in. So while, I'm trying to get a title and salary increase, I'm realizing that we may not be able to even get our yearly merit increase...if we're not completely fired. That's stressing me out. Then finding out that Usher's job situation isn't going to get better because of something that happened at a job earlier this year. He has to go to court about it and unfortunately until this whole thing is resolved, he will have a very hard time getting/keeping a job. Which of course means he'll be needing my assistance. Of course my cousin's death has me hurt. My parents are having some difficulties in their relationship and financially. I'm stuck in the middle of it. Church is crazy and I really don't like being there. My friends are all going through some BS. It's alot to handle right now. But as I came back to work this morning, God sent such a calming spirit to soothe my troubled, worried mind.

I pulled out a sheet of paper and began writing. Everytime a negative thought came into my head, every time I began worrying about something, everytime I wanted to write down a complaint, I wrote "Thanks".

Truth of the matter is, as long as I have something to complain about... I'm good. It means that I'm alive, and have use of my mind and my mouth. I'm able to feel. I'm able to think. Those things in itself are blessings. And the best part is that I'm able to hope.

I began to realize that as much stress as I'm under right now, and as much as everything seems to be going wrong, I STILL have so much to be grateful for.

So many of the things I was complaining about these last few months, have changed for the better. I finally got my IRS check, living with my parents is not as bad as it was, I was able to get my car fixed, I had a great birthday, I was able to make sure my folks had great birthdays, I got a new mattress and air conditioner, all Usher's bills have been paid even while going through this unemployment issue, I still have my job and actually like it, my health is fine and I can go on and on.

I am truly blessed inspite of all the storms surrounding me. Just as God allowed me to escape every situation I previously had, I have faith that these will be any different.

I still have hope.
I'm still alive.
I must be blessed.