Alright… so many of you have commented on the rang thang. lol After re-reading my post, I realized that I did kinda just leave that hanging. lol. I apologize. Things are just happening so fast and so many thoughts are permeating my mind that I forget to tie up all the loose ends.
*sigh* I don’t even know where to begin. lol.
TG gave me his number on Saturday and asked me to call him. I was already rushing to another engagement, so I said okay and ran to the car. My mind was working overtime on the way to my next singing gig because I wondered what he wanted to talk about and why all of a sudden he wanted me to give him a call. For a brief second I thought that his sister had gotten to him and told him that I was asking about him, but I knew that couldn’t be because she was sitting next to me... and not once did she get up to go chat with him.
*Rewind*
After I saw his ring and tried to shrug off his marital status… I still couldn’t stop thinking about it. What does his wife look like? How long has he been married? Does he even find me attractive at least?
The longer we stayed in practice, the more his status intrigued me. I’ve never seen the ring before today. And it really doesn’t look like a wedding ring. *I convince myself* Actually…it looks like a class ring. And ooh ooh… he has one on the other hand too …same position. Maaaaayybbeeee????? Hmmm.
I couldn’t take it any more. I asked his younger sister, who was sitting beside me. I knew it would seem a little odd if I asked, but I couldn’t just NOT know. I just had to know for some reason. During a small break I casually struck up a convo with her…and worked in a way to ask her about him. She told me that he’s been single every since his divorce two years ago.
*thinking DIVORCED??? Dang…this neegro doesn’t even look a day over 26…and he’s already divorced*
She gave me an odd look…as to say “why, you interested?” But before she could ask me anything I replied. “Oh okay. I was just wondering…so what about you, you dating anyone?” Her face softened a little as she did what everyone seems to love to do… she talked about herself.
She talked and talked…and the more she talked…the more I drowned her out. My thoughts were on T.G. …… “… so he’s single”. Hmmmmm.
*Fast forward*
So I’m in the car thinking about him and why he just randomly gave me his number. I wanted to call asap! But couldn’t. I couldn't call until Monday. My schedule for church was so packed that Sunday I came home and fell asleep almost upon entering.
In our first conversation, we were already vibing like nobody’s business. There wasn’t any of the “getting to know you” questions most people start their conversations with. I have NO idea what his favorite color is, or what kind of movies he likes to watch. Nor does he know who my favorite singer is and what I like to do on the weekends. I guess that conversation will have to wait. It’s amazing how things transpired. After saying hi, we just kinda dove right into the nucleus of each others soul. We began talking about our past and how that’s shaped us for where we are now. We talked about our calling and our gifts from God. We poured out our souls. Filling each other in on our fears, our weaknesses, and our hurts. We talked about our future…and how we…yes WE fit into each other’s lives. We connected on a level I’ve never connected on before. We didn’t feel the butterflies in our stomach. We felt our souls merge. We were spiritual soulmates. He told me that he felt something that he’s never felt before…and I did too. I couldn’t describe that feeling with words if I tried. Like i said last time... if completion was a feeling...that's what would describe what i felt best. He said that for him, it felt like how you know, a kid asks for this one toy all year long and then when christmas is a week away, he unexpectedly walks in on his momma wrapping that toy...and he's just ESTATIC to know that he got the toy he's been asking for all year... now he's just trying to patiently wait u ntil Christmas so that he can unwrap and play with his gift. lol. I felt him on this. I feel that way too.
I was always told that when you find that one, you’ll just know. I thought it was a big load of crap. lol. But I don’t know…there may be something to that. I’m not saying right now that this is it. But I will say that the connection we felt with each other was not based on physical attraction. In fact... the attraction we have for each other HAS to be something in the spirit because that's all i see when I see him. His spirit. Sometimes when I see his spirit, I see me. I see the part of me that I’ve been missing. I see his soul. I see his soul seeing my soul. His wavy hair and dimples faded on Saturday. And since then, all I’ve been able to see was his soul. Our attraction to each other is on a level I’ve never seen before. I’ve never felt before. Sure the man is fine. Sure his voice is smooth as cranberry colored satin sheets… and yes that’s why I called. But once we talked to each other… we both knew.
Well…actually HE knew. I didn’t know WHAT was going on…though I felt that pull... I still didn’t KNOW. I considered it…but I didn’t KNOW it. Feel me?
We’ve talked every single day this week. Easily talking at least 4 hours a day since our first convo. He told me that he had fell in love with my spirit a few weeks back, and just couldn’t shake me. He knew there was something about me that was drawing him to me… he just didn’t know what it was until we talked…and once we talked, he said “his spirit began to jump”. This man thinks I’m his Eve…his Rib. He says he’s never been sprung off of just conversation and a person's aura/spirit before. lol. Attracted yes…but sprung… neva that. I understand where he’s coming from too. It’s like… we have both gotten some confirmations about our future…now we just have to get to know the person we already know we’re gonna spend the rest of our lives with. lol. Weird. Very weird.
I know I know…this is a lot to grasp. It’s hard to understand. Logically this makes no sense. Yes Yes I know. *smh* It doesn't even make logical sense to us!! I was scratching my head and asking God what was up all of Tuesday and most of Wednesday… but what can I say. We can't deny what's there. I’m gonna take it slow…and proceed with caution. I'm no fool. I'm not gonna just go marry this man tomorrow. But ya'll I'm kinda thinking this may be my one. *slowly realizing what i just typed*
I mean, ya’ll, this man is SOOOO confident. I’ve never seen anyone as confident about our future as he is. I would feel better if I was as confident ya know? It would make things even easier if I could just believe him wholeheartedly. However, with me…I’ve been burnt a few times… been set up for the okie doke…been sold the pipe dream… so I’m cautious. Not so cautious that I’ll miss my boat…but cautious enough to bring a life jacket. So…while he’s on “GO…run…full speed”..... I’m on that… “go…but lets stroll”. lol
So we shall see. Our first date is tomorrow. lol. Pray for me. :)
Gone.
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