Preaching to the choir

I’ve always been told that I’m a great listener. I used to think of it as a compliment. Now, I just think that’s what folks say when they see me getting frustrated because they are dominating what was supposed to be a conversation, but has somehow turned into them venting and me just listening. I had a friend ask me once why I was so quiet. My reply was simply, “because you keep talking”. She didn’t understand that for some reason. I was always taught not to inturrupt people. I know I hate it when people do it to me so I try my best to wait until people finish speaking before I start. Apparently this was not a common lesson. Well at least it wasn’t for the folks I encounter. So here I am, stuck listening to someone go on and on and on.

I guess that’s why I started blogging. To get things off my chest that I’d never have a chance to vent about in real life because someone else is always venting instead.

Over the years, I’ve embraced my demure status and listened to those around me talk about any and everything. But what I find completely intriguing is the fact that some people get so caught up and comfortable in talking to me that they forget that they are talking to ME! What I mean by that is… people complain to me about something someone else did to them, and totally forget that they themselves have actually done the same thing to me. And they don’t even realize it. In my mind I’m like, how in the HECK are you gonna get mad at them for doing the same thing you did to me.

Case #1

I took off of work yesterday to do a move-out “walk” and sign my vacate letter and etc. So today I come in and see my “boss” sitting at her desk with a sour face. I put boss in quotations because structurally, she’s my boss. She’s who I am supposed to report to when evaluations come around. However, in every other sense, we are co-workers. We share work, have the same real boss, and our titles are pretty much the same. But because she’s technically my boss, she gets all the credit for almost everything I do. Not cool.
Anyways, being the way I am, I say good morning, see her face and ask her if she was okay. She begins to unload all her problems one by one on me. I didn’t mind. I understand how nice it is to have someone to just listen to you. Even though TG turned out to be a lying piece of *insert curse word*, he was a great listener. Lol

So she finishes and apologizes for having dumped all of this out like that. I say “no problem” and try to get my day started. After about 5 minutes, she comes back to my desk and says, “And another thing, I am sooooo tired of doing all this hard work and not getting the credit for it. I mean, Melissa and I are working on this project and I’ve been doing all the work for it. All she’s done is set up the meetings. This morning I got an email from the head of Corp. Communications and they were talking about how well Melissa has done on the project and how her name should definitely go on the final presentation. No one even mentioned me. I am so tired of not getting recognized for my work! Ugh!”
I swear I wanted to slap her. How is she gonna vent to me about doing all this work and not getting credit for and expect me to feel sorry for her when she gets all the credit for the work I do?

What in the heck is going on? I just sat there looking at her, hoping she’d see the irony in venting to me about this, but she didn’t.

They never do.

Case #2

Usher is always in the middle of something. There’s not a dull day in our relationship. I mean EVER. There’s always a story. Always some drama. Usually I’m just happy it has nothing to do with us.
Anyways, the other day he called me to tell me that he was home as he usually does after work. I could tell that he wasn’t his usually chipper self. So I ask what’s wrong. (okay, I now see that I set myself up for these venting spells.) He begins to tell me about his cousin whom he loaned $50 to about two week ago. His cousin was supposed to pay him back 2 days ago. He said he had been calling his cousin non-stop because he needs his money back. A loan is just that…a loan! Usher was pissed. “I hate having to ask people to pay what’s rightfully mine. You know when you owe somebody money. It’s just akward to put someone in a position where they have to chase you down for their own money. I hate when people do me like that.”

Um, yeah buddy. You’re preaching to the choir. Usher borrowed money from me a month before we broke up last year. I’m still waiting for payday. Again, I look at him like, Neegro! How you gonna be mad at someone for being two days late on $50, when you’re 6 months late on $400???? And then have the nerve to tell ME of all people how much you hate when people act like the forgot about paying you? HELLO!!!

That ish urks me to no end.


I have about a billion stories like this but I'll spare them. I often wonder why it never triggers to these people that they are preaching to the freaking choir when it comes to telling me these kinds of things? It’s kinda weird.

Anywho. Just felt like getting that off my chest. My move was long and tiring, but I’m finally finished. Hooray! These few days have been interesting. Adjusting back to living with my parents is going okay. Nothing major one way or the other. Just different. I’m happy to be back on this side of town though. I’ve missed being so close to everyone. Plus I should be able to save a little money. That’s the point right? :) I had a quick breakdown on Monday when I got off work and went to my folks house. As soon as I opened the door to my old bedroom the tears started flowing. I got over it quickly though. I gotta stay optimistic. This is the best decision for all of us. It may not be where I wanna be, but it’s definitely where I need to be. I’m helping everyone by being here. And it’s only for a while. I’m okay today. I’m embracing the fact that I can’t do it all alone. I’m also embracing the fact that I’m needed right now. I’m gonna be fine. I’m already feeling better. Wish me luck. A quick prayer would be nice too! Later!