On Life...

Life sure is crazy these days. So much is going on. The world is just chaotic. Nothing seems to make sense. Nothing seems to be going right. Everything seems to be happening at once. The only thing that gives me peace is knowing that God is still in control of it all.

On Gas

I filled my tank up monday evening. I had no idea that things were as bad as they are. I've gotten about 475457 emails and 30984230943.5 phone calls telling me to make sure i fill my tank up today again because gas prices are going up to over $3 today because of Katrina. It's been said that the gas flow has pretty much stopped coming in to georgia...and that gas stations are actually SHUTTING DOWN here because they have ran out of gas. RAN OUT OF GAS???? Do you know what something like this could do to our economy if not rectified soon? *smh* Life is crazy. My boss just told me to leave and go get gas now cuz the lines are out of the door. I guess they anticipate it being even worse when people leave work today. This is crazy. And the sad part is... i'm so friggin broke right now i don't even have any money to fill up one of those cans so that I can have extra gas just in case. lol. So if i run out... i'm just stuck in the house. No work for me. That would really suck though. I hate not being able to go places. Especially now that we don't have cable. *shrug*

On Katrina
I feel so bad everytime there's a natural disaster and i know there are casualties/fatalities. But is it just me or has the last few years been even worse in the tornado/hurricane/tropical storm department? I mean last year and this year it seems like every week something is happening somewhere. And it's not just minor things. The WORLD MAPS have to be changed because the tsunami last year shifted the earth to the point that earth is no longer the same. That island is now underwater...heck under the MUD of the water. The earth is filling up with water and the plates have moved. Just like it was prophesized in revelations... the climate is gonna definitely be affected...*sigh*. And then not only that...but in the last 2 weeks Romania, Bulgaria, Switzerland, Nigeria and Austria have ALL had MAJOR floods. I mean floods that were just as bad as Katrina. So much is happening. I just pray that folks take heed and start seeking God. If all this is not motivation to re-evaluate your life and purpose for being here i don't know what is. Cancer, Diabetes, AIDS...all that u can help control/prevent...but a doggone tornado? A hurricane? A tsunami? *smh* What u gonna do? It's sad. All i know is that people should DEFINITELY adhere to evacuation warnings. I hate to know that someone didn't think it would be this bad and died. I hated seeing people on the roof of their houses hoping that someone will just happen to see them from a plane and save them. People lost everything they've ever had. Friends, family, houses, cars, jobs, food. EVERYTHING. We become so desensitized from seeing it all the time, but when you really stop to think about that. It's very heart wrenching. How will they survive? I think about if it was us in atlanta. My whole family is here... so it's not as if we can just go visit family in another state til the storms over. We'd all pack up...and scrape up money for a hotel. Then what? If the entire city is destroyed...we'd be jobless...homeless...foodless etc. All of us in poverty...in a state/city we know nothing about...trying to figure things out. That's deep. Keep everyone in your prayers. And if you were blessed to not directly be affected then you REALLY should be thanking God.

On war
*sigh* I can't even began to talk about this. Just pray. Pray hard. The way the futures looking... it doesn't look too good for our soldiers. And the way the world is going now... if you look at Revalations, you'll see and KNOW exactly what's going on and what's actually taking place. All i will say is this...China is making some serious moves. Their army is pretty much feared. Their presence in america is definitely felt since alot of our imported goods come from them. *sigh* Alot more is going on then we realize. We MUST pray.

On relationships
It's one thing to be in love and to know you're meant to be. It's another to get his ex-wife and kids to see that. Though the kiddies really like me and refer to me as "that nice lady"... ultimately all kids of divorce want their parents back together. Though TG's been divorced for over 3 years, this is the first time he's moved more than 5 miles away from them. Even after the divorce, he and his ex raised the children pretty much together. They lived in a small town and he only moved one street down. He loves his kids. He wants to take care of his kids. But last december, God told him to move to Atlanta and since then, he's been visiting them on the weekends. The problem is that the more that time passes by...the more they realize that daddy isn't coming home...and they get sad. They are starting to act out at school, grades are dropping...etc.
Since their birth, he's always been around them ...everyday. When he and his ex separated he was their primary caretaker. Now everything is different. They miss him...and he misses them back. He talks about it openly to me because it hurts him so much. He feels like he's a bad father for not being there 24/7. He knows that the only way his kids will be thier happiest is if he'd come back home. And I feel like a bad person for not wanting him to move back down to take care of them but i need him too. I feel wrong for wanting him to think of what it'll do to us if he moved. But...I still do. I mean, he knows that if he moves down, it'll be the end of us and that will tear both him and I apart. And if we are apart...knowing that we're soulmates...knowing that God has so much planned for us in ministry...we will never truly be completely happy again. No matter if we marry someone else. I need him just as much as the kids do...and the thing about it is... if he stays up here... they'll still have a dad. He'll still visit them. They'll still visit us. It could still work. But if he moves back down there with them...there's his ex. And no matter if they get together or not...there will be no more us. It wouldn't work. Just wouldn't.
So I think he should move them up here... that would be the best for us both. But...what about what's best for them? *sigh* Blended families are hard. Especially when daddy loves his kids so much that he'd sacrifice his own happiness for theirs... and i'd sacrifice my own happiness for his. Every situation is hard for someone. Every scenario is easier said than done. So...we're still seeking God as to what to do about his kids because we KNOW what God told us. We're still confident on our future. And neither of us is willing to give up on our love....but reality is...his kids are suffering right now...and there's no way we can be completely happy in our relationship knowing what they are going through. Keep us in your prayers as we go through this rough patch in our relationship.