I thought it was kinda funny when Anthony would say this to me on many many occasions. He's always good for a "catch phrase." I was once told that when a guy tells you something... you should believe him. Yesterday I realized that him telling me this was really his backwards way of telling me that he's no good and if I was half as smart as my credentials depict, I would start running as far away from him as I possibly can. YES this is the same Anthony that called me ETHEREAL... the same one that would hold me almost everyday of the week...YES the one who told me I added unto him. He knew just how to make a woman feel special I'll give him that. But yesterday, I found out that I wasn't the only special one in his life.
In my last post, I briefly told you all that I wasn't really feeling like myself. The last couple of weeks I've been really feeling weird. I get that way right before something big happens. I never know what it is...but I ALWAYS feel when something is about to happen a few days before it does. As a matter of fact, last friday when I went to Anthony's house, I told him that I had a funny feeling while I was driving on the way to his house. Little did I know... oh how little did I know.
I've learned that whenever I start feeling "funny", I should start praying because I KNOW from experience that SOMETHING is getting ready to go down. I asked God to reveal to me why I'm feeling like this. And I must say, God is faithful. He shows me every time. Most of the time I'm not ready for it... and this time's no different. But I'm glad I know.
Anthony's phone was disconnected all last week. He got in touch with me via IM one day and we discussed my coming over on friday. So last friday, I made my way to his house. I was glad to see him, but like I said, that entire week after the "party of the year" I was feeling real funny. We had a heart to heart talk. I told him how I felt about him and I asked him some important questions to see where his head was dealing with us. He seemed sincere. I would have never known that his GIRLFRIEND HAD JUST LEFT HIS HOUSE ONLY TWO HOURS AGO heading back to Tennessee.
How'd I find out? Anthony's stupid to put it plainly. That friday night, since his phone was off, he asked to use mine. He called her right in front of me...though i didn’t know who he was talking to. His conversation was innocent enough. He asked if she'd sent the money to get his phone back on. Then he told her he was on my phone and he had to go. I thought nothing of it. Until later on friday night, when she called my phone back and left a message trying to figure out who's # this was.
In all honesty she was just wondering who I was and if I was supposed to be talking to Anthony b/c like I said, she KNEW who # this was, he told her when I was sitting there. Whatever her reasons, I'm glad she called back. I called her because I thought it weird for her to call me askin that when I knew she knew. She never answered. So I left a message telling her to call me back. She did the next morning...but I didn't hear the phone. So imagine my surprise when saturday night I check my messages and it's a voicemail from her saying, "hi, this is Anthony’s girlfriend, Taylor, call me back if you need to."
WTF? Girlfriend? Huh? My first reaction was to call him. So I did. I casually said, um, your girlfriend just called me. Of course he denied that they were together anymore. His exact words were... "man, she trippin. why she trippin. look sway i'm not even with that girl. she was right before you. i haven't even seen her in like 3 months. she doesn't even live here." So I said ok for the time being because he's denying that she's his girl....and I hadn't had a chance to talk with her and find out all the details.
Well I've been calling her from work since monday on my breaks hoping we could talk. She never answered. I never left messages. Finally I figured I better call when I get off work.. from MY phone. So yesterday I did that...and she answered. We talked for 2 hours about Anthony. The one thing I CAN say is he was right... he is one of the most least important ppl I will ever meet in my life. He really ain't s***!!!
She told me that they'd been together for about 5 months. She said she's met his family, and he tells her he loves her and would never do anything to hurt her. She told me that he planned to come and live with her as soon as he interviews with her mom for a job there in Tennessee. She also told me some other things I just wasn't prepared to hear....like....
He's also with his baby's mother. YES Anthony has kids. NO Anthony NEVER mentioned this to me. I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT KIDS!!! NOTHING! He has a 3 year old and a 2 month old. She told me that she found out about him and his baby's mother during his graduation (mind you WE were kickin it then too) when she called him and his baby's mother answered and they talked. She said he confessed to being with his baby's mother too (after she busted him about it of course)...but for her, he'd stop. She trusted him again. Not knowing that I was in the picture too. And me not knowing about either of them...or his kids.
Last week, when Anthony's phone was off...and I was feeling all these crazy feelings... she said she was here...IN ATLANTA... WITH ANTHONY!! ALL WEEK He was with her. JUST LAST WEEK. Cooking her breakfast, telling her he loves her and that she's the only one for him. She left his house heading for Tennessee on friday at 2. I was there by 5:30. Being with him. Loving on him. Cuddling with him. Kissing the same lips she just did. Do you know how much it hurts to know that only a few hours before... another woman was sitting in the same exact spot I was. Hearing the same lies I'm hearing. And the crazy thing is I asked him that same day was I the only one he was with. As sincere as anyone can imagine...he said yes. He said, "there was someone right before you...but I'm not with them anymore." lol. While I'm thinking he meant he was with someone right before we met and started talkin...he really meant that he was with someone right before me that same day!!! *disgusted laugh*
Anthony's charming. He's warm. He's the perfect gentleman. But no one has ever surprised me more than him. There were no signs. I know ppl always say that there are signs and we choose to ignore them... and usually I agree. But not this time. There was nothing that could have prepared me for this. NOTHING.
I'm hurt. I'm really disappointed. I'm not really mad. I don't hate him. I just don't understand why he'd choose to hurt wonderful women like this. She seemed really smart, and really nice. She seemed like someone I'd hang out with if these weren't the circumstances. She doesn't deserve this and I KNOW i don't. Right now, I'm in pain... but I refuse to show it. I refuse to let him get me down.
She called him yesterday to "tell him off". She told him that we talked and that she knows everything. She called me back to tell me what he had to say about it. She talked to me about for 10 minutes when her phone beeped and she said it was him. She never called me back. He never called at all. They'll probably be back together. He'll probably cheat again. But as for me... I'm through. I wish I could have said my piece. I wish it was me that confronted him about it. But it wasn't. So it's done. We'll probably never talk again. And it's sad. But time heals all wounds. And I can honestly say that I've grown. I've learned from past experiences that the best thing for me to do is NOT address it. NOT talk to him...find out why..how..when…etc. I should just move on. Because I guarantee... with his charm... they'll be back together. She's gonna give in...again. He knows it. I'm just glad it's not me this time. I’ve been there before. I’ve told a guy off… gave him a piece of my mind all the while praying that he’ll beg for me to come back…and hoping he’ll make up a believable lie so that we can be back together again. I thank God for opening my eyes. I thank God for letting me see the truth. And this time, that truth is at my door and I have the opportunity to go. I’m going. In fact… I'm already gone.
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