Pastor's ain't always right (part 2)

My mom is a boss.

She can't help it. She's a leo.. first child of 7...AND she had to raise them all while my grandmother worked.

She's at her best when she's able to tell folks what to do. lol

But don't get me wrong. She's the sweetest person you'll ever meet. A few years back, my mom had to quit her job and it put a strain on our family financially. It was around November when she met this homeless family. The wife was working at the grocery store so they'd have enough money to eat. The husband had a brain tumor and couldn't work. She had 3 children. All of which, lived out of their van, which was immobile at the time. Although my family was going through our own financial hardship, my mom opened up our home to them. Gave them our clothing, helped the man file for disability, looked for a better paying job for the lady (although moms wasn't working yet herself).
Of course, my mom brought her to church too. We figured with more people knowing this families story, even more help could be given.

When my pastor found out about the family. She made an announcement saying that she wanted everyone to help.

"These people are homeless, but not second class. Don't give them hand-me-downs. Buy them something new. Stop giving people old stuff. Put them in a hotel or something, they don't want to be in your house, living by your rules. Give them the best."

She rambled on and on and on. I remember my mother's face that day. Instead of being recongized for giving her last...and her all. She was scorned for not giving something new. It wasn't as if she wouldn't have given them the "best" if she had it to give...but we were struggling ourselves. This was the beginning of the pulpit showdown between her and the pastor.

Over the years, the pastor would say things over the pulpit that we know was directly related to my mom. It got so bad and blatant that other members started picking up on it. My friends would tell me about how pastor picked on my mom when I didn't come to church that day. Random members would come up to my mother or call after church to ask her if she was alright. People knew what was going on. I was amazed that the Pastor didn't seem to care about that.

I know you're thinking...why would a pastor do this?

Well...honestly, I'm not sure of the details myself. Once she placed my mom over the Altar ministry, things between them began to surface. I think she placed my mom in charge because she thought my mom would just be a "head" in name while really being a puppet for her.
Not so.
My mom had her own ideas. Her own agenda...and I think their constant disagreement on things took it's toll on their friendship.
My mom offered to resign. But the Altar ministry loved my mom. Pastor knew that if my mom left that ministry, so would every one else. I'm guessing this upset her. Petty....but that's the only reason i can see for her change.

Pastor would get up and introduce my dad before he was to preach sometimes. I've heard her say things like... "Sis. Warner doesn't really have a personality, but Elder Warner makes it up for the both of them"
or "It looks like Sis. Warner eats all the food in their house"....

or during her "pastoral emphasis", would say, "and if some of ya'll would just get up and run around the church sometimes...maybe your knees wouldn't be hurting like they do"...
(fyi - it's common knowledge at my church that my mother has knee problems)
and on and on. ALL from the PULPIT.

For a while my mom would shrug it off. But that last sunday was the final straw for us. I told my mom that the next time our pastor says ANYTHING out of the way... I'm out. I refuse to sit by and let anyone...INCLUDING a pastor, say retarded things about my family.


Praise service went well. My parents and I sit on the front row so we can really jam hard. (I'm the one usually 2-3 minutes late now since I live so far from church these days.) Well this particular Sunday, it wasn't enough that we all praised God during praise and worship, and during missionary offering....and during the announcements. Pastor was now up for offering and she wanted people to get excited about it. My mom's knees had started bothering her around the first offering time, so she'd been praising from her seat. Well our pastor thought this would be a good time to "show her power".
It first seemed innocent enough.


Pastor: Praise God everybody!

Congregation: clapped and said Amen

Pastor: I said PRAISE GOD EVERYBODY!

Congregation: more clapping...few people standing up...more verbal praises.

Pastor: If you see someone sitting down, tap them on the shoulder and ask if God has been good to them? No one need to be sitting down on God.... blah blah blah

okay... i see where this is going.

Congregation: Everyone slowly standing... (except for my mother and an old lady)

Pastor: Now if you're still sitting, you have a demon in you. *looking dead at my mother*

Here we go. I feel myself starting to get upset.

Pastor: If I say stand up and praise God... stand UP and PRAISE GOD!!! *screaming* I don't care if your knees hurt, feet hurt, legs hurt....

Congregation: Stunned...looking at mom and pastor... and me.

I sit down and cross my legs.

I MUST have had a demon in me. *shrug*
That would make two of us because pastor shoooole ain't hearing from God right now. And no one is praising him anymore. Everyone's just standing around like a deer caught in someone's headlights.

So Pastor calls us out and commands us to stand. I was set on not standing, but my mother went ahead for the sake of complying...even though her knees were hurting pretty badly.
When we were finally standing... pastor showed her power (not God's power mind you) again by asking everyone to sit. Then she went on a rampage about how this church isn't for everyone and if anyone is offended then they could leave.

So we left. lol

But wait... there's more!


Homegirl (Pastor) RAN out behind us. I'm thinking okay, she know she was wrong, so she's coming to apologize.

Uh...no.

She RAN out saying, "and i just got one more thing to say"...
Okay... so I know this isn't going to be anything good.

Ya'll are "released" from MY church. (her church ya'll)
I have no hard feelings and I still love ya'll. (all said in a harsh, combative tone)
But you, your daughter, and your husband are all released.

My dad hadn't left yet. Like many men, he is a little "slow" when it come to girl fights. lol He knew what was going on, but didn't really know how through we were with the whole thing. So he didn't get up right away like we did. Pastor caught him on his way out and told him that my mother had anger in her heart and that although she tried to plead with my mom, my mother wouldn't listen.


Why are you lying?
Is it that serious?
We didn't really get to say ANYTHING because both my mother and I were stunned that this lady just ran out the church to come "tell us off".

I made up in my mind that I couldn't be a part of a church that has a leader who would lie right before taking communion, who would be so mean as to bully someone who has arthritis in her knees for not being able to stand, and who would take the focus off of God just to prove her power.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the only way to praise God is to stand. She wanted everyone to stand because she knew my mother couldn't/wouldn't. She also took away our God-given choice to praise Him. You can't MAKE people praise God. And it wasn't as if we weren't praising him. We just stopped when she started talking all this crazy stuff. She totally killed the mood for everyone.

Nope, it's not for me.

And then to top it off... I get a text from my church friend that saw the whole ordeal inside.
She wanted to know if we were alright.
When I told her that we were all still pretty hot about it, she said she understood and would be hot too, but told me to let my mom know that it wasn't personal.
"Pastor doesn't think before she speaks. This isn't the first this has happened. Probably won't be the last."

Um... excuse me? So, I'm supposed to stay at a church where we condone the pastor's craziness while KNOWING it's crazy? I'm not trying to be anywhere where pastors do that on a regular basis. No Ma'am.
Not me.

NEEEEXT!

Oh...and did I tell you that said friend just married the pastor's son?
(i know it has nothing to do with anything...just wanted you to know. lol)


Anywho... that's all I have to say about the Church ordeal. So um...if anyone has a good Church in mind that we can visit, leave it in the comment box. The search is on!!!!!