Imagine

I miss working in our old building. While being downtown Atlanta is invigorating and quite a workout, I feel like we’re all packed in these little generic cubicals, running around like mice in a maze with no idea what’s happening beyond these four walls. I miss looking out my officle window and taking in the elements of the outdoors. I left my desk a minute ago in search for a window and just stared at the falling drops of rain. It looks like a cold November day. My mind wandered to grey cashmere sweaters and cream wool coats. Brown leather boots and plaid scarves. Hot chocolate and fire places. I smiled to myself thinking of how excited I am about the cooler seasons and how it’s just around the corner.

As I made my way back to my desk I started thinking about how I always romanticize this part of the year. I think of the wind ripping through my hair as I watch the sunset at some park. Listening to the rustling of leaves as I curl up to a good book and soft blanket. Smelling the delightful aroma of pumpkin pie, freshly baked cookies, or even cinnamon spice cider that the holidays bring.

As the bees buzz by my ear and I wipe the perspiration off of my forehead, I think of the upcoming months, and the longer nights I’ll have to enjoy cuddling up with my special someone. Being so cold that I can’t get close enough. Popping popcorn and lazily laying around as the happenings of the day fade and the two of us are the only ones left on earth.

These things make me smile each year around this time. I always become giddy and ready for the romance this season brings.

But it rarely happens that way for me.

Between battling colds, and continuously cooking bigger meals… toting around bulky coats and trying to find the mates to socks....battling the extra traffic, and the "bulge" that seems to come from eating heavier foods. After stressing over end of the year reviews at work, and praying that the car doesn’t act up in this cold weather. Romance seems to fade away.

This year I plan to change that. I want my fairy tale. I think I’ve worked hard enough this year to enjoy this last quarter of the year. I'm determined to be lovey dovey'd up. I'm determined to enjoy the season the way it should be enjoyed. I'm determined not to let my fall and winter pass me by without incorporating a few of my favorite things. Guess I’m going to start preparing now.

This fall... will be great. :)

Breeeeve!

I am feeling STRESSED!!!

I mean like... so stressed my wig hair is falling out.

Too much is happening. Work is crazy! I'm running around here like a headless chicken. Then trying to plan these birthday happenings by myself is really sucking. Everybody's calling me and asking me what we need to do for my mom...and for Usher. And I'm doing the back and forth thing! I'm soooo not a planner! This is a disaster.

Then my car is still acting crazy. I took it to a mechanic saturday and he swore that everything was fine. So maybe my car is possessed. Because everytime someone else handles it, it cranks up fine. As soon as I get in it... err,err,err,err,err. No vroom sound. Nothing. I have to re-crank it about 5 times before it catches for me. A mess.

Then Usher's job situation is awful still. I'm trying to help him with his resume and stuff so he can get a new gig.

My mom swears she's about to lose her job because she hasn't gotten any money in.

And my cousin already lost hers... so she has alot of free time to call me up and dump all of her woes on me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I just wanna scream.

Thanks for letting me vent. :) Even through it all... I realize how blessed I am to have a job. And family. And friends. And Usher.


I just gotta breeeeeeve! Wooooo-sahhhhh!

Speaking of

Did I ever tell you how much I love fridays? I did? Oh. Well ya'll know I'm good for repeating myself over and over again. It's a generational flaw. On both sides of the family. *shrug*

Speaking of family, my great aunt died last week. On her birthday. How creepy is that. There's something quite depressing about dying on your birthday. I mean that's such a special day to me. I dunno. It was sad. I didn't know her, but we still went to the wake and the family's house for support. I found out a lot about my immediate family from them. I wish everyone was closer than we are. It was nice to see pictures of folks when they were young, and hear stories I never knew before. My grandparents were never really open about their lives, so hearing about it from folks who grew up with them was amazing. There was no better place to be last weekend than that. I had a great time...considering the circumstances.

Speaking of weekends, I have no major plans for this one. I thought about going to look at cars and see if I may be lucky enough to find a good deal and trade my old one in for something better. Not that I don't like my car, but this whole, running hot, won't start for a second thing has got me worried. I'm sure it could be easily fixed, but I've been wanting to trade it in anyways and this gives me a good reason. Better now than ever. But reality is....my credit SUCKS! The dealers look up my information and laugh til water comes out their eyes. Browsing may be the only thing I'm able to do for a while. But i figure it won't hurt to try. Lord knows I don't have no $2000 down payment that I KNOW they gonna ask me for. lol I got a lil money, but not 2Gs to just unload at the dealer right now. Nope. That's a negative.

Speaking of money, this stimulus check is burning a hole in my pockets. I'm so ghetto. All I can think of is spending it on clothes, or a vacation. What happened to all that investing and saving crap I told myself I'd do way back in April when I first knew I was getting something? Blah! I'll be good. I need to save for a rainy day. The way things are lining up, it looks like a thunderstorm is in the forecast. Hopefully not, but it's sure looking like it.

Speaking of the near future, my mom and Usher's birthday is coming next week. I survived his mom's b-day with a few $20's left in my pocket. Whew! Now if I can keep my mom's expenses down to $100 and Usher's down to $100, I may be alright! *seeing dollar signs in my eyes*
I can't wait to get my finances back in order. I have soooo much I wanna do. Oooooh!!!! My FIRST order of business would be to get my big butt back in the gym. Man, all that weight I lost last year is back. Just chillin all willy nilly. I hate it. I tell myself everyday that I can work out for free at home or at the track, but I see now that if I'm not spending money to work out... I won't. How sad is that. But I know this about myself. I've embraced it...and now I gotta dish out some $$ so I can get my sexy on again.

Speaking of sexy... I saw my bus crush FINALLY! I saw something moving in the corner of my eye and when I looked out the window, there was his lil head bopping...backpack swaying, hands waving for the bus to stop. I tried to tell the bus driver to wait, but I was too far back. I only heard one other person say something to her, but I guess she didn't hear her either. He had to wait a whole 30 minutes before the next bus comes. So so, sad. But at least he looked good missing the bus. lol
I grinned all the way home knowing that he still rides my bus. I'm so lame.

Anyways. I'm out! Have a great weekend!

Druggie

I feel like I've been drugged up for a month. First it was the strep throat. Now its some unknown ailment that plagues my right jaw, cheek, eye, gums, temple, and forehead. Is it a toothache, an ear ache, a sinus infection...who knows??!!! All I know is the ish is painful and I feel like HOUSE popping these pain killers all day.

But other than that. Life is good. I finally got my stimulus check from the IRS. Isn't that something. lol I think they should have paid me interest for the the time I had to wait on them to get their ish together. If it was me owing them some money, you better believe by now some kind of fee would have been tacked on already. Aaaanywho, I'm very grateful for finally receiving some $$.

Now the key is keeping Usher and my mom out of my pocket! Okay we know that's not gonna happen. They both know about my check and both of their birthdays are next week so you know where half the money is going. lol

Other than that, I really don't have much to say today so... Later!

This and That

This
It's amazing how much difference a week can make. A day for that matter. After telling you guys how incredibly GREAT my birthday week went. I've been having a few "complications" this week. Mainly it's been the fact that my freakin FACE hurts!! I mean for real. The entire right side of my face is aching like nobody's business. It started after dinner tuesday evening
with a small irritation in my teeth. So I'm like...dang I must have gotten some broccoli stuck in there somewhere, so I floss the top and bottom row of teeth, paying extra attention the right side since that is where the pain seemed to be. I'm gargling, brushing my teeth, picking at it, trying to figure out what the problem is and why the entire right side of my mouth is progressively hurting. By the time I get ready for bed, my teeth, gums, jaw, cheeks, temple, eye, and forehead on the right side of my face is hurting BAD. Mind you, it's just the right side. As if someone cut my face down the middle and beat the ISH out of the right half. I tried Motrin, and Orabase and nothing worked. I tossed and turned all night only to wake up to even more pain. I went to the dentist yesterday for an emergency visit because I couldn't take it anymore. I was told it looked as if I'll need a root canal. Blah!
Gimme some drugs!! I screamed in my head.
I think I should have passed out or came in snotting and crying because they only gave me a prescription for 800mg Ibuprofen. Which is cool for some cramps...but doggone it, I got that AND a freakin tooth/gum/jaw/face ache that doesn't stop! I need something to knock my butt OUT! Something that as soon as I take it, I'm in la-la land. I guess I didn't look like I was in much pain. I know next time I'll have to put on the theatrics.
The Ibuprofen takes the edge off the pain, but I still feel some "discomfort" as the dentist said. Hmph. Almost lost the lil religion I still have up in there.
I wanted to punch her in her eye and mouth a few hundred times and ask her if she was feeling any "discomfort".

Anywho... I'm drugged up now...so don't take my aggression to heart. lol I'll be okay soon hopefully. When these pills are all taken, they'll know whether or not I need the root canal or something else. As long as the pain goes away i'm like, do what you gotta do. Otherwise, I'm falling out on the floor and screaming at the top of my lungs til somebody either give me a shot, or a stronger prescription. Believe that!


That
Okay so I've been kinda quiet on the fact that I was completely a slave to So Yo.u Th.ink You Can D.ance. I had the biggest TV crush on Will. Who I think is a lil "sweet", but I'd still be his Beard if he'd let me. That man has the looks, the moves, the personality. I luuuuv me some Will!! I would definitely be his groupie. Anywho... thing is...I found out something about myself.

I'm really into male dancers. Like really. I thought it was just strippers, but no. If you can move your bum, I'm the one. Really. I love a man that can dance. I started thinking about why I watch the show, and I came up with two reasons. Will and Joshua. Oh Joshy boy could get it too. Those dimples... the braces (even though he got them removed)... the booty... YUP. Joshua is the man! With his short self. Anyways congrats to him for winning last night. My mom picked Twitch, which I enjoyed too, but I knew after the girls were voted off that Joshua had it. Now that it's over, I have no idea what I'm going to watch. I need another TV crush stat!


This
Speaking of crushes. I haven't seen my Bus Crush in a while. :( You think he googled his name and came across my blog? It would have been enough to make me stop riding my bus if I saw some ish like THIS on the internet. Well... maybe not. I just did some real stalker ish and found out just now that I spelled his name wrong. So I'm good. But... um. I do wonder what happened to him.

That
So it's August and the birthdays have already started rolling around. Usher's mom's b-day is tuesday coming. I wonder what we're going to do. Speaking of Tuesday, I have a meeting with the "BIG" boss that day. It's supposed to be annual, but this will be my first time meeting with him about just me, and my position...and blah blah blah. I have SOOO much I want to talk about. Mainly, the fact that my boss (on paper), which is his assistant, is abusing her "power" by pushing her work off on me. I would like him to monitor this and act accordingly, ie. do one of two things: tell her to do her own friggin job, or compensate me for the extra work I'm picking up. I'd much rather the latter happen because not only am I doing her job, but I've also picked up the responsibilities of a lady I used to work closely with that they fired 2-3 years ago. Now.... how do I say all this without sounding whiny? He's a virgo...so he's about facts, research, and rationale. Any suggestions?

Birthday delight

I can’t remember an overall better birthday than the one I was blessed to experience this year.

No…I didn’t go on a cruise, or get engaged, or win the lottery for that matter. But you know what… Sway had a great mutha effin time!

On Monday, my oldest friend Biah…not in age but in the length of our friendship…took me to dinner. She and her 2 month old, hopped in the back of my car and we headed to Chili’s. I know she and her husband are struggling, partly because she hasn't worked at all in the last 3 years, so the fact that she even wanted to do something for me was a blessing. The place was empty save the couple in the corner and a family of four by the front door. We sat in a huge booth and chit chatted until our food came. Oh it was soooo good. I’m such a lame because I always get the same thing from Chili’s. The Triple Dipper baby! Hey, I know it’s an appetizer, but I swear I’m always full after chowing down on it.

“Anything for dessert?” Our plump waitress beamed as she took our empty plates. I patted my stomach while shaking my head no. I was full. Plus I wasn’t paying for this. I’m always conscious of not spending all of folks money when they take me out.

“Oh Sway, you HAVE to get dessert. It’s your birthday!!” Biah said softly. “Can we see a dessert menu?"

“Sure.” Our waitress brushed her brown stringy hair from her face and pulled out the menu. “I’ll give you guys a chance to look over it”

Of course my girl knew exactly what to get. I bargained with her to let us split the dessert.

“The molten chocolate cake please!” Biah devilishly responded when our waitress came back.


Ooooh she was soooo wrong for this. She knows I love this! It’s so go rich and chocolaty and creamy! Mmmmmm. We ate to our hearts content and little did I know. That was the theme for my entire week.

Tuesday was my last day at the office for the week. I hear a tap at my officle around 11:45 and see 2 of my co-workers smiling down at me.

“Hey, we know it’s your birthday tomorrow. You wanna go to lunch at Ray’s in the City to celebrate?”

"Of course I do! Just lemme finish this one last email." I grab my bag and my phone and meet them in the hall. To my surprise, 16 of my 19 co-workers came along too help me celebrate. Cool!
Everyone was ordering the healthy food. Salmon salad, veggie plate, grilled chicken and asparagus…etc.
“I’ll have the fried seafood platter please” I said nonchalantly.
Everyone looked at me simultaneously. I forgot this was a health-conscious bunch. I shrugged and said, hey, it’s my birthday!

My plate was by far the largest at the table. Ooohs and ahhhs escaped many lips when our waiter sat my plate before me.
“You’re not gonna eat all that” my Malaysian co-worker knowingly stated.

“Watch!” I said as I popped a perfectly crisp shrimp into my mouth. I was in heaven. 2 hours later, we’re back at work and I’m sooo full. I finished up some loose ends and headed home to get my celebration started. My cousin called me around 7 that evening to ask me if I was busy. I wasn’t, so I asked her what was up.
“Girl, lemme do your hair for your birthday. I know it’s jacked up.” She laughed.
“Whatever!” I said and rolled my eyes as I looked in my mirror. My wig had seen better days. And under it my hair was looking even worse. She was right. I needed a new “do”.
“I’ll be over in 8 minutes.”
After what seems like forever, my cousin had created a masterpiece up-do that was fit for a prom or a wedding…or something other than me going home and going to sleep. But it was now 1am. And I was tired. Plus, Usher told me that I was to be at his house on my birthday no later than 4:30pm. That seems reasonable to most people, but it IS my birthday. I’m gonna sleep til noon. Then after that, I got a billion errands to run. Plus, I gotta get an outfit to match my new hair right?

I think one of the reasons my birthday was so wonderful is because for the first time in forever, I had absolutely NO PLANS. I didn’t expect anything from anyone. I didn’t assume I’d spent time with anyone. I had planned to be by myself and enjoy my own presence on my special day. I realized that in the past, I’ve counted on others to make my day special for me…and they’ve always disappointed me. Not this year. I got up with a smile on my face and did me for a good minute. I went shopping. New shoes, new dress, new accessories. Check! Got a manicure and pedicure. ‘Bout time. Got my face “done” by a lil gay guy I call “Sweetness”. Hell I even let him put me on some lashes. I felt FABULOUS! I enjoyed myself so much that I didn’t realize that I was running late for my evening festivities with Usher!

“Usher baby, um, I’m gonna be about 10 minutes late. I gotta go home and change really quickly” I blurt out into my cell phone. I’m speeding from the mall praying that I don’t crash my car or get pulled over. That would really suck.
“ Home? You’re just going home now?” He said alarmed. “Um…. Alright. Hurry up!”

I sped home and slid my car down the driveway as quickly as possible. By the time I hit my room, my clothes were off and I was halfway done getting ready. My makeup was already done, hair already perfect….i just needed to freshen up a bit and put my dress on. In less than 10 minutes I was out the door and speeding down the street again.
When I finally got to Usher’s house, I was hot and tired. Man, this birthday has been long. I laugh to myself.

When Usher opens the door, he’s visibly stunned at how beautiful I look. A few weeks ago we had a big fight about the fact that he never compliments me when I make a big effort to look nice for him. It seems petty when I write it, but the ish was VERY serious at the time. lol
Anyways, his point was that to him, I always look the same…nice of course… but in his mind, he felt that I should know that he thinks I’m pretty. Which I do, it’s just nice to hear sometimes…especially if I really tried that day. Anyways… I digress.

I guess Sweetness did a great job making me different on my birthday because the compliments were just flowing. He loved the hair, he loved my makeup…and my dress…LOVED IT. :)Anyways… I looked like a million bucks and had no idea where we were going. For all I know, we could end up at waffle house. No birthday of mine is complete without that. But today, I didn’t dress up for him. I dressed up for me. Guess that made all the difference.

“Where are we going?” I asked in a little child’s voice as we get on the expressway heading the opposite way of what I imagined.

“To your house.” He says smoothly.

“What!??” I frown. I know I didn’t just RUSH out of my house to go right back.

I didn’t pout, but I’m definitely wondering why the heck we’re going back to my house. I become even more confused when we pass the exit for my house.

“Just sit back and enjoy the ride Sway” He said as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

We pull up at Daruma’s. It’s special to me because I’ve been trying to get him to take me there for about a year now. It’s always been too far away and expensive to just pick up and go. It was a perfect place to celebrate. I had Filet Mignon, Lobster, Shrimp, and Scallops. There was NO way I could eat all of that, but Lord knows I did my very best. We both had take-out bags (first time for me that week) and I had a hard time eating the complimentary cheesecake and sherbet the restaurant gave me as they sang happy birthday to me.

We chatted in the car for a while when I realized that we were heading towards his parent’s house. I say nothing about it because I knew he’d deny it if I asked. Sure enough, we pull into his parents driveway and I smile. His parents are so nice to me. They asked him earlier that week if they could come along to dinner, but he told them it was something he wanted to do with me alone. I guess this is how he compromised.
I walk in expecting to see only his parents. Instead I see mine…his sister…my cousins…aunts…uncles…dang everybody’s there! Where did they come from? I saw no cars?

“Happy Birthday Sway!” everyone cheers.

Awwww! A chocolate cake with a “28” candle stood alone on the table waiting for me to blow it out.
I make a wish and struggle to put out all the candles. Usher's mom cut the cake as I make my way around to hug and thank everybody. They all went on and on about how pretty I looked. It felt sooo good. Ya’ll know I’m a compliment whore. lol But really I think they were just seeing the manifestation of the genuine happiness I felt inside. Usher and I ate another piece of cake and smiled at each other. I love him. He can be such an butthole sometimes, but he's always stepping up to the plate when it matters. I collected cards and gifts and finally we all went our separate ways.

On our way home, Usher asked if I had a good birthday.
“The best! Now all I need is my I. R.-uh. S. check so I can get my new mattress and I’ll be set!”

My parents had already bought me an air conditioner unit for my room as an early birthday present a few weeks back. That was such a blessing!

I dropped him off and went home smiling. I had nice gifts: money mostly…a full body massage gift certificate and a really cute shirt. Usher gave me a card that was soooo sweet with a P.S. that read: “And by the way honey, I always think you’re beautiful. Even if I forget to say it.”

Awwww… the tears came… but I pushed them back in. I didn’t want to ruin my makeup. lol
The next day we had planned to go shopping for the other gifts he wanted to get me.
I walked to my room feeling tired, opened my door and saw the most beautiful Serta pillowtop mattress EVER!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I screamed as my parents laughed and wished me a happy birthday again!

They bought me a friggin mattress! “ They love me! The love me!” I sang happily.

So THIS is why Usher panicked when I said I was running late and going home to change. He knew they were bringing my mattress and needed me to be out of there. Ah! Sneaky man!

I was soooo grateful! I really did get everything I wanted.

The next day Usher bought me a single red rose. It was beautiful. Especially since he doesn’t “do” roses. lol

We spent up all my birthday money buying stuff. lol He ended up buying me some shades, Jordan’s, and more clothes. By the time Friday rolled around, I was too pooped to pop. I still had a dinner date with a girlfriend of mine at Arizona’s.

The funny part is that…all through the weekend, I was still getting birthday surprises although my birthday ended Wednesday.
My fingers hurt now though so I’ll spare the details. But seriously, I enjoyed every moment of my special week. I truly felt loved. God is good. Happy Birthday to me!