I've said before that writing is really not my thing. I love to read, but me actually writing something creative, or descriptive, or profound...well....don't hold your breath for it. However, from time to time, I get inspired to write. Most of those times, it's due to heartbreak or something dealing with ya'll menfolk!!! But today, I just want to share one of my "poems" if I may so call it... with you.
This one is called, "The question asked". I wrote this earlier this year to my first boyfriend since "the big breakup" (i guess i will have to tell you about the "big break up"...it's real juicy...lies, deceit, children, cheating, fighting, adultry...sound like All My Children huh?) Anyway, you may remember me mentioning TDin one of my earlier posts. I think I mentioned him in my 2nd or 3rd blog. But anyways, I wrote this to him because he and I had started off just casually dating, but things got heated and before I knew it, feelings were forming and we hadn't talked about where we were taking this. It was apparent to every one around us that we were together, but I had my doubts because of some of the things he'd do...and not do. So, I wrote this to him to express my feelings...seeing how i am not really good at expressing negative feelings, or feelings I don't feel will be readily reciprocated. So here goes....you may not understand it...or ......maybe you will.
The Question Asked
The constant pressure of making moves on a daily basis-
the fact is that I want you, yet you refuse to face this.
You put your hands on my waist, while I feen for your embrace-
and I whisper in your ear at a steady pace.
But you ain't hearing me- sometimes I feel you straight teasing me.
I might have played along for a while-at first I did quite easily.
I'd put on my game face to guard my heart,
cause I couldn't bear for someone else to tear it apart.
So from a distance, my feelings grow, and now it seems all out of control!
I guess nothing in life is exactly what it seems.
Never thought I'd care so much for someone who doesn't seem to care for me.
The love making is the fire, the chemistry unmistaken,
But as for your feelings regarding me, are they real, or are you faking?
I'm feeling you deep, but haven't reaped what I seek.
Seriousness should be setting in, but then again, I can't pretend-
that I don't see what I see... phone calls at 2am and 3...
Your female friends- do they know about me?
Why is everything such a mystery?
There's much opposition in my attempts to get position.
My struggle to capture your attention end as a failed mission.
Propping clues as we go along-
Special deliveries in the rain, flirtatious eye contact, plus a few songs-
But am I wrong? Are opportunities passing by... are they almost gone?
At times I wonder should I stay or go.
Before I get caught letting my feelings flow.
Trapped between my heart and my head...
Not sure whether to risk being dissed or being lead...
To a place of pure ecstasy, where again in could be just you and me...
Apart of two hearts, making each other complete.
I find you every night in my dreams...
Fantasies... About the seemingly impossible turned into the plausible.
At points upset and confused - cause our relationship's a work in progress-
I guess.
Either that, or I am on this journey by myself.
So, instead of leaving me in the cold, just let me know.
Will there ever be a U & I...
Or am I destined to find my love with another guy?
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