It’s amazing how many things run through my mind on a daily basis. 80% of which I swear to myself I’m gonna blog about. Fortunately for you…only about 5% of that actually makes it to this page. I made this blog to keep an accurate account of my life and thoughts…but it seems like only 20% of who I am is represented here. How’s that? Oh well… it’s just something I thought about last night until my phone rang.
I was currently on the phone with a young man that I honestly didn’t want to ever stop talking to …but when I saw the name on my caller ID, my entire body froze. It’s been a few weeks since we last spoke. I know that before we hung up for what I thought was the last time, I told her that she can call if she NEEDED to. I just never thought she’d need to. Everytime she calls my heart drops, my hands get shaky and my heart races. I guess it’s conditioning… I mean every time she calls it’s always something. I never know what she’s gonna say that will possibly break my heart or change my life. I slowly told my friend that I would call him back in a few…and clicked over to see what she could possibly want to talk to me about now. I could tell that she was crying as soon as I heard her voice. My first reaction was…"dang… Anthony done cheated again.”
Taylor and I aren’t friends. However she calls me more than any other female I know besides my momma. I guess our situation bonded us together temporarily. Well at least on her side. I don’t feel any animosity towards her… but it’s hard to be a friend to someone you unknowingly shared your boyfriend with for 4 months. (While after the third month, both of us said we were gonna leave him alone, but stayed with him until finding out that neither of us kept our word and we were still sharing him)
I moved on from him, but she couldn’t let him go. I understand the power of emotions and I think because none of her friends understand what she’s going through, she leans on me when things are happening between him and her. She knows I won’t judge her…and she knows that I won’t lie to her. I listen and I tell the truth…even when it hurts me. Even when I could and really wanna lie… I won’t.
I asked Taylor what was wrong. Between sniffles she told me that she knows it probably causes me more heartache to talk with her b/c it reminds me of Anthony (which she’s absolutely right about, though I remained silent), BUT I was the only one she could talk to b/c I’ve been there with him as well and I understand. So with little promting from me she started ranting about how much she’s dealing with right now. She told me a few weeks back that she has breast cancer and will be starting chemotherapy in a few weeks.
*sidenote: this is how shallow Anthony is… she told him about her cancer a day after she andI found out that both of us were still with him and I decided that I can’t be in a love triangle anymore. A few days later, he calls me talking about how sorry he is but I got it all wrong.. he claimed that the only reason he kept seeing her was out of obligation. He said that he knew she was sick and didn’t want to tell her bye just yet b/c he knew she needed him. He claimed that he really loved me and that he would fix everything he messed up. *Lol… haaaaaaaaa. Classic.* Anyway, of course when she called me like she usually does, and I told her about his attempt to get back with me, she was furious b/c she said she didn’t tell him until like… two days ago. And he used her sickness to try and get back with me. Isn’t that low! YET… she’s still with him*
Now she tells me that her baby’s father kidnapped her daughter. He took her from the home a few days ago saying that he was gonna take her to his mother’s house. Taylor said after he didn’t come back with her the next day, she called his mom and the mother said she hasn’t seen her son or the granddaughter. When Taylor called his celly…it said that his service was cancelled. This guy straight dipped out on her. It was soooo sad. So she says to me… “I didn’t know what else to do or who to turn to so I called Anthony. I told him what happened and asked him if he could just stay on the phone and talk to me for the next 2 hours until I can file a police report and he said okay, but about 3 minutes later he said he’ll call me back b/c he need to call his uncle and see if he can give me some doe to fly up and see you.” I listened intensely though hearing about Anthony literally made my stomach churn. “I told him I didn’t NEED him to fly up, I NEEDED him to support me right now…like this… on the phone. But he kept saying he’ll call right back and I got tired of arguing. Well he didn’t call me back..so an hour later I called him and he didn’t answer his phone. Sway, I called him 6 times. The seventh time he answered, but I heard him open his door and go outside. Sway I KNOW another woman was in there.”
That’s when I realized why she called me. She thought it was me again. She thought I’d given him a 3rd chance. She wasn’t blatantly saying that…but I knew. So I casually eased her mind by hinting at the fact that it wasn’t me. She began telling me how hurt she was because he couldn’t stop chasing skirts long enough to just be a “friend” to her and talk to her while she’s going through this crisis. I felt bad for her. We both know how Anthony is….i mean firsthand. Yet no matter what he did to her, to me, to his babys’ mothers, to all of the other 59834064 girls listed in his phone, she really thought he’d change for her. I prayed for her. I prayed for him. I prayed for myself. I was really hoping to never be bothered with them again… but I see now that God puts people in our path for a reason. People that I wouldn’t necessarily ever meet except through divine intervention. I must say that since this whole ordeal with them, I’ve found myself on my knees a LOT more. And not just for myself. This experience is teaching me patience, longsuffering, and intercession. He put us in each other’s path for a reason. Taylor needed me, that’s clear. God knew she’d need me to talk to. … But what I just realized is that I needed her too. He knew that I’d listen…And pray. My prayer life was missing something. I thought of others often, but I wasn’t praying regularly for others. Intercession wasn’t my strongest point. It’s amazing how God gets you to where He wants you to be regardless of how much you disobey him, what you do, and how much you run from it. Remember that. Gone.
“For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible,… everything got started inhim and finds its purpose in him.” -Colossians 1:16
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