I don’t feel like writing. AT. ALL. Yet, I'm weirdly drawn to and feel guilty about not blogging. I don’t know how it became something I MUST do in order to feel right, but it has…and I hate it. Cuz ya’ll I DON’T feel like writing.
So this morning after my daily email browsing and tea drinking, I browsed the net for some good articles to post about the origin of Halloween. I somehow manage to inform someone of the origin/merger of this day each year. I wanted to write about All Hollows Eve and Samhain and why people dress up their children like ghosts and demons, and dracula (who was a real person) and actually think it’s cute, with out realizing the meaning behind it all. And how human sacrifices were actually made…and the many heightened accounts of abducted children during this season which are believed to be because of the sacrificial rituals some cults practice...and how these accounts are as recent as the late 90’s. And how even though many Christians are now realizing how demonic Halloween is, they don’t realize that they are the cause of it becoming so big, and the reason there IS a Halloween. And I wanted to even put a mini paragraph in about the true meaning behind the jack-o-lantern, and bobbing for apples, and the whole Trick-or-treat bit. But this year it seems that I’m not going to be doing that. Cuz I don’t feel like writing. And even though copying and pasting is not technically writing… I don’t even feel like doing that either.
I really would have liked to share my weekend too, since it was unusual for me. For the first time since april, I didn’t see TG on friday night. I knew this was coming a few days before since he had informed me that Tuesday that he would be in the studio Friday night. I compensated by spending Tuesday and Wedesday at his place…hoping that by Friday, I’d be overflowing with TG and could get through the day without incedent. It didn’t happen. I still missed him. We weren’t supposed to see each other Saturday either. He had praise team rehearsal, I had dance. We would have missed each other by 15 minutes had he not called me while I was on my way to where he just left, and asked me to meet him at hardees. There in the parking lot on S.R. 85, he and I stood outside our running cars and hugged as if that was the last time we’d see each other. Onlookers at the red light gazed at us. Probably looking at us like I look at couples when one seems waaaaay to fly for the other. “How did she pull him”…I could imagine the ladies in the car in front of me think. Me with my dingy bandana on, some grey stretch dance pants, a white tee and some dingy tennis shoes looked in no way on the same level as Mr. GQ himself. All decked out with his navy blue slacks, dark stacy adams shoes, light blue button up shirt, and signature kangol, bling, and shades. I bet it was a sight to see. After our hug(s), we held hands as we ran off our list of “TO-DO’s” for the day. He was going out of town to play with his brothers band. And I was getting my hair done and spending some QT with moms. On the way to my rehearsal, I smelled my shirt. His scent was so strong I almost thought he was still with me. In actuality he was. Maybe not physically, but TG’s always here.
I would tell you about how we spent a little time together on Sunday at church. Then we came home and cuddled under the covers for a few hours… dozing off a few times…and waking up to one of us staring at the other. He said I look cute when I’m sleep. I can’t imagine what’s cute about watching someone snore and drool…but hey, who am I to judge his measure of cuteness. We got up around 3 and went to waffle house. Neither of us was really hungry, but for some non-hungry folks, our table sure was full of empty plates. He paid and we left. I felt sad because I knew this wasn’t one of those normal Sundays where we’d go back to his place and watch a movie while eating cookies-n-cream ice cream. I was going home and he was heading out again. This time to Columbus. His son got suspended from school last week because of his continuous misconduct. The principal wanted to meet with BOTH PARENTS this morning in order to put lil TG back in school. So again he goes away. His ex is not too happy about all of this. Of course she called TG last week and pretty much jumped down his throat. “If you were down here with your SON instead of up there in Atlanta playing with that GIRL then maybe he wouldn’t be doing so badly in school! Is she now more important than your children!!!??”
I know TG stills feels a tinge of guilt for leaving his children. Even though he knows she’s using them and his guilt to make him come back, it is still a soft spot. The man hates for his kids to be caught in the middle. Which unfortunately she keeps doing… putting them in the middle. To be honest, lil TG isn't really all that bad, he's a typical boy. All she gotta do is whip that butt. Tell him he BETTA stop acting out "OR ELSE" and i know lil man would stop acting so bad. But i guess it's easier to make an okay situation seem hopeless so that you can produce the results you want.... TG back with you. *sigh* I must admit, ole girl is on her job. I could write a novel about the daily drama with her… but honestly… *sigh* I don’t feel like writing.
If I did feel like writing, I’d probably tell you that out of my 3 best friends, I’m the only one not pregnant. I’m also the only one not married or engaged yet. It’s crazy how it kinda all worked out that 3 of us are getting married next year (one got married this year)… and 3 of us are having babies next year. I’m sure folks think that we’re competing and just wanna get married cause our friends are…but honestly, it just worked out that way. All of our situations are different. None of us are jealous of the other, but…it just so happens that we’re going through the marriage/baby stage together. Well…THEY are going through the baby stage. *smacking teeth* I’ve already got my hands full with the grown babies TG has. I love those two so much. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside. They were here last weekend with us. Babygirl really likes me. Lil TG likes me too, but you know how boys are. He’s not really all that affectionate with me. But babygirl…man, I have NO personal space or privacy when she’s around. She comes and jumps on my lap as soon as she sees me. She gets so close to my face sometimes I don’t wanna breath for fear she’ll smell the gummy bears on my breath and beg me for more candy she DOESN’T need. We were watching Spy Kids 3 last Saturday together while TG was getting their clothes ready for Church and babygirl hopped all over me and turned to me and said, "I like sitting close to you. You’re better than a chair." lol. I didn’t know how to respond to that…but it made me laugh. I’d go on and on about how she follows me everywhere I go...even if I’m going to the bathroom... and how she loves putting on my house shoes and jewelry and pretending she's me. I'd write about how she calls me “Sue-quayla” which is not exactly my name..but close enough. *smiling warmly* But ya’ll, I can’t get into that today, cuz honestly, I just DON’T FEEL like WRITING.
So I guess you’re just gonna have to wait until I do feel like writing…. Until next time.
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