You know what...

I don’t feel like writing. AT. ALL. Yet, I'm weirdly drawn to and feel guilty about not blogging. I don’t know how it became something I MUST do in order to feel right, but it has…and I hate it. Cuz ya’ll I DON’T feel like writing.

So this morning after my daily email browsing and tea drinking, I browsed the net for some good articles to post about the origin of Halloween. I somehow manage to inform someone of the origin/merger of this day each year. I wanted to write about All Hollows Eve and Samhain and why people dress up their children like ghosts and demons, and dracula (who was a real person) and actually think it’s cute, with out realizing the meaning behind it all. And how human sacrifices were actually made…and the many heightened accounts of abducted children during this season which are believed to be because of the sacrificial rituals some cults practice...and how these accounts are as recent as the late 90’s. And how even though many Christians are now realizing how demonic Halloween is, they don’t realize that they are the cause of it becoming so big, and the reason there IS a Halloween. And I wanted to even put a mini paragraph in about the true meaning behind the jack-o-lantern, and bobbing for apples, and the whole Trick-or-treat bit. But this year it seems that I’m not going to be doing that. Cuz I don’t feel like writing. And even though copying and pasting is not technically writing… I don’t even feel like doing that either.

I really would have liked to share my weekend too, since it was unusual for me. For the first time since april, I didn’t see TG on friday night. I knew this was coming a few days before since he had informed me that Tuesday that he would be in the studio Friday night. I compensated by spending Tuesday and Wedesday at his place…hoping that by Friday, I’d be overflowing with TG and could get through the day without incedent. It didn’t happen. I still missed him. We weren’t supposed to see each other Saturday either. He had praise team rehearsal, I had dance. We would have missed each other by 15 minutes had he not called me while I was on my way to where he just left, and asked me to meet him at hardees. There in the parking lot on S.R. 85, he and I stood outside our running cars and hugged as if that was the last time we’d see each other. Onlookers at the red light gazed at us. Probably looking at us like I look at couples when one seems waaaaay to fly for the other. “How did she pull him”…I could imagine the ladies in the car in front of me think. Me with my dingy bandana on, some grey stretch dance pants, a white tee and some dingy tennis shoes looked in no way on the same level as Mr. GQ himself. All decked out with his navy blue slacks, dark stacy adams shoes, light blue button up shirt, and signature kangol, bling, and shades. I bet it was a sight to see. After our hug(s), we held hands as we ran off our list of “TO-DO’s” for the day. He was going out of town to play with his brothers band. And I was getting my hair done and spending some QT with moms. On the way to my rehearsal, I smelled my shirt. His scent was so strong I almost thought he was still with me. In actuality he was. Maybe not physically, but TG’s always here.
I would tell you about how we spent a little time together on Sunday at church. Then we came home and cuddled under the covers for a few hours… dozing off a few times…and waking up to one of us staring at the other. He said I look cute when I’m sleep. I can’t imagine what’s cute about watching someone snore and drool…but hey, who am I to judge his measure of cuteness. We got up around 3 and went to waffle house. Neither of us was really hungry, but for some non-hungry folks, our table sure was full of empty plates. He paid and we left. I felt sad because I knew this wasn’t one of those normal Sundays where we’d go back to his place and watch a movie while eating cookies-n-cream ice cream. I was going home and he was heading out again. This time to Columbus. His son got suspended from school last week because of his continuous misconduct. The principal wanted to meet with BOTH PARENTS this morning in order to put lil TG back in school. So again he goes away. His ex is not too happy about all of this. Of course she called TG last week and pretty much jumped down his throat. “If you were down here with your SON instead of up there in Atlanta playing with that GIRL then maybe he wouldn’t be doing so badly in school! Is she now more important than your children!!!??”
I know TG stills feels a tinge of guilt for leaving his children. Even though he knows she’s using them and his guilt to make him come back, it is still a soft spot. The man hates for his kids to be caught in the middle. Which unfortunately she keeps doing… putting them in the middle. To be honest, lil TG isn't really all that bad, he's a typical boy. All she gotta do is whip that butt. Tell him he BETTA stop acting out "OR ELSE" and i know lil man would stop acting so bad. But i guess it's easier to make an okay situation seem hopeless so that you can produce the results you want.... TG back with you. *sigh* I must admit, ole girl is on her job. I could write a novel about the daily drama with her… but honestly… *sigh* I don’t feel like writing.

If I did feel like writing, I’d probably tell you that out of my 3 best friends, I’m the only one not pregnant. I’m also the only one not married or engaged yet. It’s crazy how it kinda all worked out that 3 of us are getting married next year (one got married this year)… and 3 of us are having babies next year. I’m sure folks think that we’re competing and just wanna get married cause our friends are…but honestly, it just worked out that way. All of our situations are different. None of us are jealous of the other, but…it just so happens that we’re going through the marriage/baby stage together. Well…THEY are going through the baby stage. *smacking teeth* I’ve already got my hands full with the grown babies TG has. I love those two so much. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside. They were here last weekend with us. Babygirl really likes me. Lil TG likes me too, but you know how boys are. He’s not really all that affectionate with me. But babygirl…man, I have NO personal space or privacy when she’s around. She comes and jumps on my lap as soon as she sees me. She gets so close to my face sometimes I don’t wanna breath for fear she’ll smell the gummy bears on my breath and beg me for more candy she DOESN’T need. We were watching Spy Kids 3 last Saturday together while TG was getting their clothes ready for Church and babygirl hopped all over me and turned to me and said, "I like sitting close to you. You’re better than a chair." lol. I didn’t know how to respond to that…but it made me laugh. I’d go on and on about how she follows me everywhere I go...even if I’m going to the bathroom... and how she loves putting on my house shoes and jewelry and pretending she's me. I'd write about how she calls me “Sue-quayla” which is not exactly my name..but close enough. *smiling warmly* But ya’ll, I can’t get into that today, cuz honestly, I just DON’T FEEL like WRITING.

So I guess you’re just gonna have to wait until I do feel like writing…. Until next time.

HELP ME REACH MY GOAL!!

I know I’ve fallen off with my posts. For a while there… I was on a role. But life has a way of not slowing down long enough for me to sit and really think of something witty and interesting to write. Believe me… my life has enough twists, turns and funny moments to make this blog be a number one hit. However, my lack of story telling abilities coupled with my new busy work schedule has lead me to slack off….ALOT.

Hopefully next week I’ll be able to write more about what’s been going on. I know I paint a rose colored portrait of the love TG and I share…but trust me, every relationship has its rough spots. We DEFINITELY have been FIGHTING for US since day one…and we’re still fighting. Anywho….that’s not the reason I came on here today… *focus sway…focus*

I need your help. Yes you. *sticking index finger in your chest*

I need your support in a wonderful and very important event sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Please please PLEASE click on the link below and participate/read & pass on/donate in the event called Making Strides against Breast Cancer! Thanks in advance to all that help!

----------------->CLICK HERE<---------------


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Alrighty then…

So Grayse tagged me to do a mime… and I haven’t done one in a while. So I figured it would be a great way to close out the week by spending the next few minutes of my ½ day of work…goofing off on my blog! Yay!

7 things I plan to do before I die:
Learn how to cook a goooood soul food meal from scratch and in less than an hour. (what? I’mma learn. You watch.)
*Hear my OWN music on the radio
*Pay off “The Woman”
*Learn sign language fluently
*Spend time in Ethiopia
*Write a book
*Marry TG have 2.5 children…and a dog…and get my darn house on the top of the hill…umm…with a white picket fence. lol


7 things I can do:
*Karate
*Find the silver lining in any cloud
*Eat waffles with my syrup, have coffee in my sugar, and grits in my jelly all at the same time
*Get what I want
*Pee standing up. (I’m a pro. *poppin’ collar*)
*Pop my jaw bone
*Learn any dance, song, speech, script…etc… in 20 minutes.

7 things I cannot do:
*Get ready in less than 30 minutes.
*Skate. (darn weak ankles)
*Successfully lie to my parents. (lawd knows I’ve tried)
*Take too much BS/drama
*Rap. (oooh… I gotta be the worse rapper EVER)
* Hmmmm…write a full post without using these “…”
*Hold a grudge.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
*Assertiveness
*Transparent eyes (meaning…that when I look them in the eyes… I feel as if I can see right through them)
*Chivalry
*Ability to keep me smiling/laughing
*Voice tone/Diction/language (they ALL matter)
*Veins in the arms. (don’t ask me why that turns me on but it does. BAD)
*Their attraction to me. (what?…him liking me turns me on…lol)

7 things that I say most often:

“huh”
“say that one mo’ ‘gain”
“hey baby”
“I’m sleepy”
“allllll-righty then”
“night night”
“get’cho hand out my pocket!” (naw I’m kidding…sorry)
“ay, lemme call you right back”

7 celebrity crushes:
Terrence Howard… and I been on him waaaay before he started getting all this air time. In fact… I wrote a post in my other blog on March 02, 2004 about my celebrity crushes… I’ll just stick with those answers.
* Jalen Rose
* Jason Weaver ~uh...i'm not quite sure why i like him. just do. *shrug*
*Michael Jai White ~ lawd that man is fine. *fainting repeatedly*
* Morris Chestnut
* Jason George
* Mike Bibby
*Terrence Dashon Howard
*Khalil Kain

Sway's Garden

Did I ever mention how great TG is? *insert googly eyes and sigh* I know I talk a lot about our “issues” and his “baggage” and my “insecurities”. But… TG really IS a wonderful guy.

I think the last picture post I did was from all of the Birthday presents TG bought me….which was end of july. Well… I guess since I was so responsive, and because he loves me so much, TG has made it his mission to keep me with some fresh roses. Seriously, EVERY WEEK since the end of july, TG has bought me a dozen roses and a card...just because. Here are a few of my favorites from over the months. (I know, I lost 3908423432 cool points for taking pictures of my roses... and then to top it off, they probably all look alike. haha)

These were my very first roses from him


These were my favorite...and my co-workers favorite (haha)They bloomed so wonderfully...if you saw them in person, you'd understand what i meant. I had to take two pictures of it. lol



These are my "Spring" roses. They brightened up my day. You wouldn't believe the color from these roses...and the yellow vase made it even more spring-like.


These didn't bloom as well, but they were still pretty. I think this set was the first "red" roses I've gotten from him. I didn't mind since there were other colors in there too. lol


These are my "FALL" roses. My second favorite. The peach's and the whites were BEAUTIFUL. Of course he had to get a matching vase. haha. I currently have 3 orange vases, 2 yellow vases 3 clear vases, 1 blue and one red vase. *smh*



And here's my little desk "shrine" to everything TG. lol. Well...it's actually bigger now since i have more pics, more cards...and more flowers...but i took it last month...so...*shrug*.

It’s gotten to the point now that I had to actually tell him last week to STOP with the flowers. Lol. Not because I don’t like them. I REALLY do and I make sure he knows that with each new dozen roses/vase/card trio. BUT now its to the point where I’m like… hmmm… he’s dishing out a lot of unnecessary money and Lord knows we NEED ever nickel, dime, quarter we have. So last week I thanked him and told him… “baby, you’re too good to me. You don’t have to buy me anymore roses. He smiled and said okay….

Today, he got me these… lol

There's daisies, honeysuckles, sunflowers,purple daisies, purple pansies...and etc. They are beautiful...and they smell so fresh!


Awwww… the man just won’t stop. He’s obsessed with showering me with roses and cards. I love it… I really do. Even though I’m putting my foot down and forbidding him to buy me any flowers for at least a month. lol

Of course my co-workers are gonna be mad. I think they enjoy his display of love even more than I do. You should see them… every Friday or Monday, they come by my desk and gawk at the new ones I got. They compliment him on how he coordinates the roses with the vase. They smell them and “ahhhhhhh”. They gaze at me and tell me how lucky I am. One new woman doesn’t even know my name because she’s been calling me “Rose” since she got here. lol. He definitely has a fan base here at the job.

Everyday when my day gets stressful, I look up at the beautiful blossoming flowers he’s so graciously given me and I smile. I love him. I can hear him whispering to me as he always does,
“Baby, you deserve the best. And I’m gonna spend the rest of my life doing whatever it takes to give you just that.”

Just the little things like that makes him stand out over any man I’ve ever known. I can’t imagine what my life would be like with anyone else…and I don’t want to. All of my ex’s balled into one Super-Ex couldn’t even put a match to him. He does it for me. I got it bad. And it’s great to know that he got it just as bad. Even if he never buys me a rose again, I think I’ve had enough to last me a lifetime….and I’ll spend my life letting him know that. Today is one of those days I wish I would have given him the url to my blog. I’d let him know again that I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Garden or no garden. Through sunshine or rain. I’m his. Wholly. Completely. Sincerely.

Progress

Work’s been getting in the way of my blogging. *hmph* Actually I’m not mad about that. I like it when I’m busy. Makes the days go by faster and the faster the week goes, the faster the weekends get here and I’m able to see my suave sexy papi for 3 days straight. *sigh* It is really getting exhausting living so far away from each other. Gas prices makes a sista think twice about seeing TG everyday during the week. Never has shacking up seemed so good. lol. So we on this whole… “I miss you”… “I miss you too” thang on the phone everyday…counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until we can see each other again like in highschool and carless. I usually go visit him so that our quality time can be maximized. I like our privacy. At my house...ain't none of that. So I usually make that long journey...and it's worth every second. But still, days like today, a sista wish she had her own place so he could be there when i got home. I hate that I still live with my parents. UGH! I’m a grown woman. A grown woman sneaking around with a grown man. NOT a good look. haha. I hate not being able to just be straight up with my folks and say "LISTEN … I’m going to spend the week/ weekend with my man so I won’t be home." But I guarantee the day those words come out of my mouth,my stuff will be on the side of the road along with my parental divorce papers. *smh* Being a PK (preacher’s kid) is hard. They don't take no junk. No matter how GROWN you are…you still gotta obey the rules. And Mrs. Warner ain't having no form of shackin while she's alive and well.

I know I know… the simple solution would be to get my own place. BUT…I didn’t wanna get my own place knowing that soon we’ll be married and would need to start looking for a bigger place together since the kids will prolly wanna come live here…and trust me, I just can't get the bigger place now and try to foot that bill by myself and still live comfortably…so I figure I’d just suck it up and save all the money I can now. I’ll just lie to the parents some more…and settle for seeing TG on the weekends. Just ain’t right…but I gotta do what I gotta do. *sigh* Anywho…that will be all over soon. Were finally on our way…

TG and I went to our first counseling session. *singing Hallelujah and exhaling*

It’s really happening!! *jumping up and down* I must say, I was a little more nervous than he was. Heck…I was still in dance practice 20 minutes AFTER we were supposed to start our meeting. TG had left praise team rehearsal promptly at 11:30am (our meeting time). He and Pastor talked until about 11:50 and realized that I wasn’t making any effort to try and sneak out of class to get to them. Pastor actually had to come IN the class like my daddy or something and motion me to GET MY TAIL in his office. I hung my head as if i was about to get in trouble, and drug my feet into his office. I was scurred. I was sweating buckets. Sure some of it was from all those doggone dance moves we were doing, but I know most of it was because it was really going down. We were really here… talking about marriage….with the Pastor. *temperature…rising…heartbeat…increasing*

I really didn’t know what to expect. Were we gonna have to take one of those… “how well do you know your mate” quizzes…and if we fail..be banned from our sessions until further notice? Was pastor gonna fire a bazillion questions at me about why I love him and why do we wanna get married? Was I gonna have to talk about my trust issues with men, and my past hurt from my ex fiancé? What are we gonna talk about for the next hour and a half????

My fears were quieted after Pastor just talked for a while and asked questions I knew answers to and was comfortable talking about. *sigh of relief* Really, he just set up talking points for TG and I to discuss on our own until the next session. (ie…money, credit, the EX, the kids, our fears, who’s church will we attend, the wedding date, learning how to be flexible, being spiritually grounded, balancing worlds and etc) We’ve actually talked about ALL of this already, so I felt good leaving Pastor's office knowing that TG and my communication skills with each other is on point. We’re ahead of the game! Yeah baby! *kissing TG’s picture*

Anyways… I had so much I wanted to talk about today, but work calls…so maybe later. Happy Hump Day!