Time is flying, but my eggs are chillin

It's amazing how time flies! I started this blog over 10 years ago.  I had just started working at the Cancer place.  I was young, cute, single, and BORED outta my mind. lol

Now, I barely have time to remember that I have a blog. lol  I guess blogging in this manner has kinda went out of style with Twitter and Instagram keeping everyone involved in everything....at all times.
Surprisingly, I refuse to be a part of either! lol  I like the anonymity of blogging.  Being exactly who I am and telling all my business, but not having anyone really "know" me.

I guess it's my therapy. Letting out what I don't say in real life.  Telling stories not everyone knows about me. Being free to be me!

I realize now that I'll never be into blogging like I was 10 years ago.  However, I'm so glad to have this blog and to see where I was and how I felt at certain times in my life.  I hope to post SOMETHING for as long as I'm alive...just to leave my little piece of legacy.

My two cents.

A glimpse of someone passing through this world.

So much has changed over the last few years.  Usher and I are still married and I'm so glad i didn't give up on that knuckle headed security guard I didn't really like in the beginning. HA!
You never know how life will twist and turn.  I'm happy.  We're happy together.  I don't regret any of it. Not even the breakup. :)

Our biggest challenge right now is fertility.  Specifically speaking...my fertility.

I've had 2 miscarriages over the years with Usher and they've been devastating.  I so desperately want to create a child from our love together, but that's proving to be harder than expected.  I went to see a specialist after the last one to see what may be happening and I got even worse news.

My tubes are blocked.  Huh??
Apparently, although I HAD two miscarriages (which means I got pregnant), I can't actually get pregnant because the test showed that my Fallopian tubes are both completely blocked.

Someone PLEASE explain that to me? lol

How is it that I come for one thing and leave with another problem that contradicts the initial problem altogether?!?

Anywho... the doc does an ultrasound and thinks that my fibroids may be the cause of the blocked tubes and suggests I get them removed.

So last year I had a successful myomectomy.  We re-tested my tubes after my surgery and found them to still be blocked.  The doctor waited a couple of months later for one last test before suggesting IVF and found that they were open.  Hallelujah!!  So now I'm thinking....YAAAAAAAS!  It's about to go down!

Well it's May and guess who's still not pregnant!  *raising hand*

I'm so frustrated although I know it's in God's hands.  It's just hard to see something that's so easy for everyone else, be such a struggle for me.  I know this is our test and ultimately our testimony, so I'm trying to stay positive and believe that God will do it! But I'll be honest, it's not easy to keep the faith.  After all of this, I've been charting and taking ovulation tests as directed by my doctor and the tests don't show that I'm ovulating!  WHAT!!!

Lord Help! Take the wheel!

What a miracle baby this will be and what a story to tell when we finally have a little one.

Through fibroids, adenomyosis, myomectomies, blocked fallopian tubes, and anovulation, I believe I'm going to get pregnan. Then once I get pregnant I believe I'll have a healthy baby...even through low progestrone, repeated miscarriages and a high risk pregnancy due to age and PCOS.  WHAT A MIRACLE HE OR SHE WOULD BE to overcome all of that to get here.

I'm ready to tell that testimony!  Keep us in your prayers!