Here and there

Stealing
One of my favorite bloggers from a few years back used to categorize his posts like this. I used to think it was soooo cute and clever. Now, with me being such a rambler/subject jumper, I can definitely see how this is functional. So I figured I'd steal his format for today. :)

Venting
So today is payday and I've spent my check already and have about $100 to live off of for the next two weeks. Once I get gas and splurge on lunch today, that will probably be gone. I hate living check to check. It really sucks. And honestly I'm starting to resent Usher for it. Of course the only reason I have only $100 left after paying everything is because I'm including his rent in my "bills" for this pay period. His inability to keep a job is really putting a big wedge in our relationship. And I do realize that this time it isn't his fault, but because it's happened soooo many times already, I'm just getting sick of it. I want to tell him that this is the last time I'll help him in this capacity, but am not quite sure how to put it delicately enough to not hurt his lil male ego, but firm enough that he knows that I'm for real and he better get his tail back on the grind.
Any suggestions?

Mourning
Usher's best friend Neno, lost his grandmother this week. Even hearing this bit of news, especially with all of the other things going on, made me instantly sad. I've lost both grandmothers in the past few years and know how much that can affect a person. I planned to send a card to him because I just didn't know what to say. It's always awkward when someone loses a loved one. What do you say to them? I know that people meant well when I lost my loved ones, but really, they said nothing that made me feel any better. It was just the thought of them trying to relate that made everything better. The funeral is in Augusta today and both Usher and Neno are there. This made me think about my own grandomothers and how much I miss them. Death is crazy! I don't get it. RIP ya'll.


Hating
Is it wrong of me to kind of feel angry that Usher not only drove Neno to Augusta twice this week, but told me that I needed to call him to send my condolences, when Usher and I were together when MY grandmother died and he neither came to the funeral, nor asked Neno to call me to send his condolences? Is that petty? Probably so, but I kind of got offended at the whole thing. I'm your girl. I just lost my gramma. And on the day of the funeral, you are at your house playing cards WITH Neno and your other friends and all I got was a "Call me when you get out of the funeral." He didn't offer to come. He didn't offer to drive me. He didn't give orders for Neno to send his condolences. So why do I have to? Now I mean, I'm still going to do it because it's just right, but it pissed me off that he seemed to care more about his friend than me. I swear Usher is walking on thin ice.


Losing
Dang if the doggone IRS don't just cut me a new check and gimme my friggin money oooooowww oooo! I guess that would be too much like right huh? As bad as I need my money, they better be glad I've only called twice. I started trying to trace my checks a few weeks ago, only to read that I have to wait 30 days after they mailed my check before they can even send me paper work to trace my checks. With their reasoning being that it could show up any day now. Now I know good a well that it don't take but 3-7 business days for anything to get anywhere in the US, but I just went ahead and let it slide. I've been waiting and waiting. Checking the mail EVERYDAY for my refund and stimulus check. I've seen my parents get it, friends get it...co-workers get it. Hell, even my friends dog had a lil 5 in his mouth. I'm like, "where's my money?" I got stuff I need to do with it. So I finally get to my 30 day mark this week and call IRS up. They tell me they mailed my check to my old apartment...without having which apartment number I lived in on it. *insert cuss words here*
Why couldn't they tell me this ISH online when I looked weeks ago. They be on that bull for real!
So I ask them if they got a return on those checks to which they replied "No." So now I have to wait 10-15 business days for a form to sign and return back so that the IRS can trace the freakin checks. Again, why the heck couldn't ya'll just mail me the form weeks ago so that when it get here and my 30 days are up, I can immediately send it back. Why we wasting time? Boy I swear! *sigh....wooooh-sahhhh*

Anyways, IF no one has cashed them, then they'll cut me another check within a few weeks after the trace is done. I have no idea why this process is so long. I swear this craziness only happens to me. My current address was on my paper work, so why the heck are they sending it to my old apt. anyways? And now I have to wait a2-3 weeks for some papers!!!! Sorry. I'm just soooo hot about this, I swear i'm bursting at the seams.

Thanking
But when I sat down and thought about it all, it's probably for the best. At least I'm getting my refund AND my stimulus check! Better late than never right? :) Plus this way, it should be here right in time for my Birthday. And because of the delay, Usher and my mom have kind of forgotten about it. Yes! I may just get to spend these checks all by myself. Isn't that a lovely thought? Oh would I be so lucky???


Believing
My cousin is OUT of the hospital! Wow! And only a day after she predicted. She went home yesterday. And though she's still very sore and fatigued, she's having normal bowel movements, and she doesn't need constant pain meds anymore. What a blessing! She still doesn't know about the cancer, but she's doing better than anyone imagined her to do with the colon/intestines surgery already. I'm so grateful! Thanks God. He fixed this, He can fix the cancer thing too. Keep her in your prayers please! She had big victory already, but there's still more trials to overcome.

Excercising
I started walking this week. As you can tell, alot has happened this past week. lol I've always heard how exercise helps to reduce stress and yada yada. *rolling eyes* So I tagged along when my dad went running at a local track. The first day I walked a mile and ran around the curve of the track. Whut? That's good for me. Sway doesn't run mmmkay? Plus a sista was tired after all that power walking. But after looking at my dad and friends who've dropped 3984390843 pounds by just running, I got the revelation that I need to gone and try.

By yesterday I was up to 2 miles. Walking that is. lol But I did run around the track once. That's better than I thought I could do. I've mastered running with just enough bounce that my girls won't be jumping all over the place. I figure if I keep building up, I may have some running bones in my body after all. I'll keep ya posted.


Lata!

WOW!

So your girl has been on the grind. I forgot that I wouldn't really have time to blog again last week because I went to a 3-day work conference after Usher and my tiring trip to Augusta. I must say, hosting a conference in your home town requires a lot more work than being a co-host in another city. I was up at 4:50am every morning and didn't retire to my hotel room until around 8pm. Those are definitely long working hours for me. I was so happy friday afternoon to find myself in my own crusty bed with no alarm set to wake me up anytime soon. That is, until my phone started ringing. Usher was calling me to tell me about his day. I swear it really is always something with this man. He lost this new job on wednesday because he had to go to court for the craziness that happened at his last real job. Apparently, the court sent the court date information to his old address and it bounced back to them as undeliverable. Instead of calling him or looking up his new address, they held on to the letter. Of course that means that Usher had no idea when his court date was. It just so happens that the bail people gave both he and I (since I was the one to bail him out when he turned himself in...remember?)a courtesy call letting us know on Tuesday that his court date was set for Wednesday. So Usher immediately calls his job to tell them, but they inform him that because he didn't give a 24 hour notice, he will be terminated from his assignment there. They have a strict policy for their 90-day probationary period and since Usher wasn't a direct hire yet (he came to them from another agency) the law about not firing someone for having to appear in court was null and void. SHOOT!! So he's looking for a job AGAIN!! Of course rent is due next week and guess who's gonna have to hear all the whining about it all? Yup. Me.

Not to mention that my parents got a call on Saturday saying that one of my cousins was in the hospital in critical condition. This is the same cousin who had a crash a few years back and her insides shifted to the opposite side of her body causing major problems (like her bowels coming out of her body) and ending in surgery. Well, the problem apparently continues. They had to do surgery on her intestines and colon again, but this time, they saw a few tumors in her pelvic area. They told her mom that it appears to be cancer and there's not much they can do for her. Because of her co-morbidities, the doctors haven't told my cousin she has cancer yet. But everyone else in the family know. Isn't that crazy?
We went to see her on Sunday and she looked very good considering all that's wrong with her. She was lively and talking about having faith to believe she'll be back home in 4 days. I looked at my aunt (her mom) and saw a tear in the well of her eye. She knew her daughter wasn't going home in a few days. It was very sad to know something about someone that they themselves don't know. My prayer is that she doesn't give up hope even when she finds out the second set of bad news in a month.

Life is full of surprises. Hopefully her surprise will be a miracle instead of a tragedy. She's only 45 and has so much more life to live.

I have more to talk about, but I'll have to come back another time. Hopefully I wont forget. Later!

Well it's Tuesday...

... but it’s my Monday because I took the day off yesterday. I needed it.
Well let me be honest, I didn’t NEED it. I’m just spoiled and didn’t feel like being the only one doing all the work here, so I bailed. It was a day well spent if I do say so myself. My weekend was filled with errands. While everyone else was clubbing Friday night, I was at Wal-mart with my mom walking up and down each aisle trying to figure out what I can afford to get this week and what will have to wait. Afterwards, I had to spend half of my freshly cut check to pay one of my bills.

Boo!

I mean, I’m glad I had the money to pay it, but I SURE didn’t wanna come off that money. Man! A sista could’ve really used that in other places. I still haven’t received my stimulus check or my federal taxes back and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m going to ever see either. I’m not default on my loans…yet. So I don’t see what the hold up is.

Saturday I woke up all early (well 10 is early for me on a Saturday) and started moving stuff out of my room. It’s been two months now since I’ve been back home and our air conditioner is STILL not working!! Three of us WITH JOBS are living there and we can’t collectively come up with the money to buy a new unit. Dang times are hard.
So I told my dad last week that I think it would be more beneficial to me if I moved my bedroom stuff around to maximize the air flow from my bedroom window. Thing is, I have a lot of ish in my bedroom. REALLY HEAVY ish! It took my dad and I about 5 hours to rearrange my room to my liking. It looks like a different place! Even my old rinky dink mattress felt better that night.
Sure enough, my room has been much cooler. I even created a little “reading corner” in the far left corner or my room complete with a bookshelf and pictures. My favorite recliner chair is perched perfectly by my bedroom window. It’s divine. If I stare out the window really hard, I can almost forget that I’m at my parents house and dream of my old place.

My Saturday night was cool. My cousin turned 2 so I went to his lil b-day party at my aunt’s house. I was handed a pina colada upon entering and forgot that it was lil-man’s party for a good 30 minutes. Seriously, it was about 6 kids…and 30 adults. The kids were running around squirting their water guns while the adults drank margaritas, watched College Hill, listened to music and played spades. This was the first BBQ I attended this year that Usher didn’t accompany me to. We seem to go to one every week. My family loves to Que. He was pulling in his 3rd -12 hour shift for the week and was dog tired when he got off. Poor baby couldn’t do anything but eat, shower, and go straight to sleep, only to be up Sunday morning to do it all again. I have no idea why he wanted a manual labor job. It’s too hot to be doing all that. I think he sees that now. But he doesn’t care. He has his eyes still set on working in Afg.anistan. He finally got a call back from one of the companies I applied him for and he passed all of the checks/tests/etc. He called me this morning to tell me that his package will be coming in the mail this week and all he has to do now is wait for his passport to come in and he’ll be off within that week.

I’m sooo scared.

He’s sooooo excited though. Like, he’s already talking about what he’s going to do when he comes back next year and how I’ll be sooo happy he took this job. I swear he’s spent his whole salary there and he hasn’t even gotten his little acceptance package yet. Honestly, if it was anywhere but Afganistan, (or Iraq) I’d be happy too. But I’m very nervous. And it makes me even more nervous because he doesn’t seem to be the least bit concerned about the conditions there. I don’t know why that concerns me but it does. I love my Usher and the last thing I want is for something to happen to him. I do realize something can happen to him right here in America. But I dunno. I guess I fear the unknown. And he’ll be sooooo far away. *sigh*

Besides that, I think it would be a good experience for him. What he’ll make there, would take him forever to make here. And it’s only a year. Plus it will keep him out of trouble....and there he can't smoke. It has it's benefits. Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Nothing is set in stone yet. I wanna be happy for him really…and I am, but I’m really nervous too. We’ll see huh?

Father’s Day was cool. I took my dad to Red Lobster and bought him a few things. He was content, so I’m good. The rest of the day was a blur. I decided after dinner that I was taking Monday off. I went to Usher’s after he got off and we watched The Finals together. It was then that we decided to go to the zoo the next day.

I slept to my hearts content Monday morning. It felt soooooo good not to get up before daylight. I opened my eyes to a bright sunny room and it was great. The birds were chirping, the trees were whistling. Ahhhh what joy! I went to Usher’s and we headed to the zoo. As soon as we walked in I had to used the restroom. That is soooo me. *smh*

When I came out, I found Usher with two Raspberry Icee’s. He was chatting with a zoo employee who was showing him the map of where the Lions are. I sipped on my Icee when a guy walking towards us catch my eye. It was TD. Yes, TD…the guy who proposed to me by email. Yes, the guy who was sooo not good for me, but the chemistry was so magnetic. We locked eyes and recognized each other immediately. I totally forgot he worked at the zoo. A faint smile broke across his lips as he contemplated coming to hug me. Upon seeing Usher, he opted to just speak and keep it moving. I had no idea Usher even saw this exchange as he seemed engrossed in the conversation about the lions.

“Who was that gay dude you spoke to?”

*sigh* Usher thinks everyone’s gay. Lol

“That was TD.” I say nonchalantly

“T-D huh. Why do I remember that name?”

“Probably because that’s they guy I used to argue with all the time, and I told you when we first got together that our relationship reminded me of that one.”

“Oh yeah… or because that negro called you that time playing on the phone on new years.” He said.

“Yeah”. I said, thinking, Negro you know his name sounds familiar because it’s the same freaking name as YOUR ex wife. Lol

Anyways, we walked in the HOT HEAT of Atlanta, looking at the animals who were all hiding from us somewhere in the shade and realized that the zoo is definitely not as fun as it used to be.

After walking around for a few hours, we hightail it back to his place, where the AC was kicking, and plopped on the parallel sofas.

Next thing I know, it’s late and we’re hungry. We eat, cuddle, and plan out today’s adventures. This evening we have to pick his Grandmother up from the airport and drive her 2.5 hours to Augusta. Only to turn around and come right back. This wouldn’t be so bad if her plane didn’t land at 9pm. By the time we get back it will be well after midnight and I have to be up at 5am. Boooo! But it’s all good. Just more time to spend with Usher before he’s away for a year. So that’s what’s goinz on in my world.

Alrighty….guess I really need to get crackin on my work. Later.

Catch 22

I can’t believe it’s already June. It’s amazing how slow the workweek creeps along, yet the year shoots by with a blink of an eye. How is that possible. Last year I almost had a full blown panic attack when I started realizing how long I’ve been out of school and how I really don’t remember the years since then. Like really…what the heck have I been doing with myself? My life? My time? It freaked me out. I knew then that I have to start living differently. Seizing the day. Making memories. Enjoying myself. I’ve been trying to. I can’t imagine not remembering this last year. It’s been one for the books.

Unfortunately, I haven’t shared much of my memories on here because I’ve been either too lazy or too busy to write. I was laying in bed a few nights ago and realized the problem. I never blog at home. Usually, I do most of my thinking and recapping at night. This is when most of the things I desire to write about surface. I always promise myself that I’ll remember in the morning, and never do. Plus it’s kind of hard to write a sentence, then look over your shoulder to make sure your boss isn’t coming, then write something else, then answer the phone, go to the copier, do some paper work, then write again. I lose my train of thought and my inspiration to finish.

I’ve concluded that I’d be a much better blogger if I just posted in the evenings at home.
Problem is….I don’t wanna even SEE another computer when I leave work.

Such is my catch 22.

Now I remember why I stopped writing initially. It became too much of a hassle to blog from work.

We’ll see how this pans out. Right now, I have lots of work to do. Ta-ta!