At this Big Age...

I'm 44 now and I'm finally starting to come into my own.

I feel like I've grown more these last 2 years then I have my entire life. Here's what I've realized.

• I don't know myself. As much as I have worked on myself over my adult life... I've learned that I don't know ISH! I've done things that I never thought I'd do. And I've stopped things that I always thought I'd do. I have been challenged with real life choices that went against my beliefs. I've had my paradigms shifted by new and different information and experiences. I realized how closed I was to ideas and ways of life that didn't align with what I thought was successful, or perfection, or moral. I've been stretched, challenged, and tested. Some I passed...some I failed. Life has its way of humbling you. But what I've learned is that I should never judge anyone else and their experiences. I also learned that there's a process to BECOMING ME. I haven't arrived. I don't know who I am fully because I'm not done evolving yet. I don't know myself yet. I only know aspects of me. I am still developing...even at this big age.

• The key to happiness is learning to accept. I've always had trouble with not being in control or in the know. I feel most at peace when I'm in control. When I know what's going on, I feel like I can influence things and make ISH happen. I feel lost and out of sorts when I think my hands are tied. But life has taught me that I am not GOD. I don't know it all and I can't control it all. The more I remember this concept and accept that I can't bear the weight of the world, the happier I am. Your thoughts of me... is none of my business. Those million and one problems y'all have...has nothing to do with me. Staying in my lane and accepting that what will be will be...has freed up so much space in my mind and so much cortisol from my belly! lol I can't worry about things I can't control. I accept who people are, what people do, how people move... and adjust accordingly. This has led to much more happiness and less stress!

• Relationships are a teacher. You want to know who you are? Look at your relationships. Every interaction with another human being will tell you more about yourself than anything and anyone else. Look at how you respond, engage, commit, speak, show up, react when things don't go your way, compromise, think, and feel. What kind of parent are you? Boss? Co-worker? Friend? Child? Spouse? Community member? Cousin? Sibling? Do you people say the same thing about you as you say about yourself? Do they all see a different version of you...or is the chatter pretty consistent. Who are you? Look at those around you and you can get a pretty good picture. I've learned that we all have blind spots that everyone else can see but us. Instead of dismissing everyone else as being wrong... I've learned to embrace it and work on that thing they see but I'm not aware of. I ask trusted loved ones how I can be better...and learn from the corrective criticism. Learn from those around you. It'll change your life.